Alexxi [ED RECOVERY & STRUGGLING]

I'm Alexx. I am 16 years old. I am a sophomore. I can not wait to get to really know myself. I am honest. I want to live my life to its potential. I am complex. Sometimes I don't even understand myself. So in that sense I do not expect anyone to understand anything I say or do. I am learning about myself so much. Most people in there life never get to experience what I am currently going through. Some of my friends know what I am talking about. At least they know what situation I am in. So to be brutally honest, I am sick. I have a disease called Anorexia Nervosa. It is extremely deadly. Unfortunately, I have to deal with all the consequences of this disease. I am in treatment for anorexia. I am striving of recovery. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to come to grips with. I am at just the beginning but I know that this is what I really want. I am critical of myself. I want to love myself and my body. I am me. I don't know how to be someone else. I am learning how to change. I want to be healthy. That is me. I am not in school anymore. But I get a tutor to come to my house and chill with me. I am extremely judgmental. I am not optimistic. I wish that I could win. I am a perfectionist in the break down. I am funny. I am hyper and crazy. I have said one cuss word out loud my entire life. I have had one energy drink ever 5/14/07. I have never had a job. I am a dancer. I am a runner. I am an all A's student. I like to go to Goodwill. I am a TREEHUGGER. I like to debate. I like to talk. I like to sing in the shower. My favorite color is green. My favorite number is 1 and 2. My birthday is May 1. I like to travel, anywhere. I like to dance in my house in my jammies. I love to clean. I like to be organized, on occasions. My music is never turned off. I like to finger paint for FUN. I love chocolate jello pudding with rice crispies! i like long necklaces. I do my own laundry. I am defensive. I am aggressive. I love to cook. I love theatre. i love headbands. I have a tattoo, a sparrow. I want a Monroe. I like socks with little animals on them. I like to wear dressys. I like to draw stick figures. I have a yellow wallet. I have a sweet 16 birthday shirt. I have a seasonal pass to Universal Studios for 2007. I love Disneyland. I have a Cinderella key chain. I love to make CD's. I write in my journal every day. I have a tiger pen that lights up when it writes. I have a lime sports bra from WALMART. My mom lives in Arizona. I have 3 dogs, Miniature Pinchers. I have a snow globe of Seattle. I like to shop for shoes, new craze. I have never been on a real date. I like the care bears. When I was in the hospital I had a pic line and 2 IVs. I hate needles but now I can deal with them. I do not trust people. I have rocks on my table. I like to light candles. I have a teddy bear that I have had since I was 3 minutes old. I was born on a Tuesday. I love the movie "The Breakfast Club". I have a locket. I have one perfume and my mother hates it. My fan is always on. And my window is always open. I love my comforter. I have natural blonde hair. My name is spelt with 2 X's. My favorite water is ETHOS. I love green tea. I have the neatest water bottle, it is green. I have one glow in the dark star on my ceiling. I like to read. I like to collect fortunes. I want to read the entire dictionary.