The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. profile picture

The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq.

I am here for Friends

About Me

If I get any more awesome I think your head will explode.

My Interests

Changing the world, killing insects, absolving myself of the responsibilities of popularity, pinching babies cheeks, working out, banging, reading, listening to Conservative Talk Radio

I'd like to meet:

Quiet, collected people who would like to meet me at the local SeaFood house for some fresh penguin. Afterwords we will drink coffee and laugh and laugh and laugh. But then it will go too far, and someone will get offended, and what was otherwise a wonderful experience will be forever tainted. So we'll leave a crappy tip and trudge back to our stupid, miserable, penguin-less lives and wonder where it all went wrong. This will, of course, lead to the production of bad poetry. The world needs all the bad poetry it can get in these crazy, mixed-up times.

Music:

Motley Crue, GNR, Electric Six, Johnny Cash, Depeche Mode, AC/DC, White Stripes, Scissor Sisters, Duke Ellington, Dr. Dre, Lords of Acid, Goldfrapp, STP, Black Sabbath, Alice Cooper, Journey, The Roots, Tom Jones,

Movies:

Everything is Illuminated, Transformers, X-Men I & II, Batman Begins, Office Space, Lebowski, Star Wars II, III, IV, V, Trainspotting, Dr. Strangelove, LOTR, The original Manchurian Candidate, Half-Baked, John Malkovich's Head, Matlock Begins, Matlock vs. Predator, Narnia, American Psycho, Ron Burgandy, that sports movie where the underdog prevails at the end, Transformers 2007, Waiting, The Last King of Scotland, My Big Fat Matlock Wedding, Anything with that Will Smith

Television:

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations, Star Trek: Voyager, King of the Hill, Married With Children, HOUSE, Grey's Anatomy, The Tudors, Attack of the Show!, Samantha Who?, Californication, Cheers, Frasier, NipTuck, The Spurs, Cities of the Underworld

Books:

In no particular order:

--Wicked, The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West-- by Gregory Maguire. Maguire re-creates Oz and weaves an engrossing tale.

--The Feast of All Saints-- by Anne Rice. Nice historical fiction that explores the question we all ask ourselves, namely: "What the hell am I going to do with my life?"

--Me Talk Pretty One Day-- by David Sedaris. Psuedo-non-fiction, Sedaris is hilarious and takes stories about jobs, his family, and moving to France and makes them laugh out loud funny, which is hard for books to do. His other books are good too, but this is my favorite.

--A Confederacy of Dunces-- by John Kennedy Toole. Outrageously funny. Buy it, own it, buy it for your friends.

--The Federalist Papers--I'm a politics stud, what can I say?


Your Personality Profile
You are dependable, popular, and observant.
Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness.
In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do.
You are unique, creative, and expressive.
You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while.
And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming! The World's Shortest Personality Test

Heroes:

In no particular order:

My mom. She's hard-working, funny, and extremely generous. I love her dearly.

My mom's parents. They have always gone above and beyond what you expect grandparents to do, and treat their grandchildren with love and respect. Like my mother, they are great role models

Sam Waterston: That guy is just an out and out asskicker, if you ask me

Sean Hannity: This guy can produce propaganda that would make Hitler proud.

Matlock: Check out my blog on him

Myself: I am truly a source of inspiration.

My Blog

Ready to Go from Day 1

Ready to Go from Day 1I think that the most important question in this Presidential Election is the question of which candidate will be ready to lead from Day 1.Based on this criteria, Hillary Clinton...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Thu, 24 Apr 2008 11:28:00 PST

Clinton vs. Bush

Whenever I hear Hillary Clinton speak, I think just one thing to myself:Wow.I watch her speak and I cannot help but think she would be a Great President.This is coming from a supporter of George W. Bu...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 10:13:00 PST

Child Abuse

Get your tissues ready. Here’s 3 links for you that you need to read and cry about. You need to read these links and cry and get angry and get off your ass and do something about all the childre...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Wed, 09 Apr 2008 09:51:00 PST

This is the end, for me, my friends

Howdy everyone. This is one of those bittersweet moments that one can only experience when one is standing before a group of their peers and announcing something that is bitter whilst still enjoying t...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Wed, 02 Apr 2008 06:46:00 PST

Why White People Hate Rev. Wrights Comments on 9/11

..tr>..table> ..tr>   WASHINGTON - September 17 - In recent days, Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell have accused People For the American Way and reporters of taking comments mad...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 01:58:00 PST

Please Help Keep This Blog Clean

Howdy everyone, no satire today, I just wanted to pass along a tip or two to help you help me keep this blog clean.I’d like to ask that everyone please not throw away their baskets. Please put y...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Sun, 30 Mar 2008 12:16:00 PST

Americans Against Obama

Americans Against Obama(Author’s Note: I wrote this back in November and was unsuccessful at finding a "right time" to post it, but given the fact that racism is back on the march in America, I ...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 10:56:00 PST

There are two types of Negroes in America today

There are two types of Negroes in America today: those who swallow the white pill (Good Negroes) and those who spit that pill out at white people (Bad Negroes).Let me be blunt here: Negroes either lov...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Tue, 25 Mar 2008 10:16:00 PST

Now is the Time to Deplete Our Savings

Now is the Time to Deplete Our SavingsThe economy faces major challenges going forward. Whose fault is it? Yours!You heard me, jerkfaces.Admit it, you failed to buy enough crap you didn’t need l...
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Mon, 24 Mar 2008 11:48:00 PST

Do we even Have a Dictator anymore???

Author’s Note: As many of you know, I am not really a blogger. I write essays and post them on a blog. Many of the essays that you read were written weeks, if not months, before they are posted....
Posted by The Reverend Dr. Jeff, Esq. on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:38:00 PST