I'm tall, bald, and tattooed.
If you screw with my friends or family, no force on earth will save you from my wrath.
I have loved and lost and loved and lost and loved and lost so many times that I wonder why I keep trying.
During daylight hours, I can be seen out and about on the highways of Long Island, blasting the air horn in my rig or flipping the bird to drivers of all races, creeds, and colors. I don't discriminate. When I'm behind the wheel, you're all the enemy.
I believe children should be sedated or kept inside at all times. Just because you were dumb enough to have them doesn't mean I should have to hear them!
I was a Johnny Cash fan before everyone my age or younger decided it was COOL to be a Johnny Cash fan.
I can't stop texting.
I think Hamburger Helper might be the most brilliant invention of our time. Screw the Cotton Gin.
My brother has turned me into a 7-11 coffee addict. Thanks, John.
I can kick your ass.
I think men that hit women are the most worthless, spineless assholes in the world.
It really pisses me off when people refer to 9/11 as "nine-one-one." It's a DATE, not a PHONE NUMBER, you morons.
One of my favorite words is "BLUDGEON."
Dreams die hard.
Beer in the morning is amazing.
There are two rules to life:
1) Never tell anyone everything you know.
2) ...
