Jimmy Horton profile picture

Jimmy Horton

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

(About Me) sense of humor since I learned what 'twat' and 'bukkake' meant. All pretty accurate, except the job part. I have 2-3 jobs on any given week, which makes me more dark, since I don't enjoy life as much as I should. HA!

My score on The 3 Variable Funny Test :

the Shock Jock
((71% dark, 42% spontaneous, 57% vulgar))

your humor style:VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | DARKYour sense of humor is off-the-cuff and kind of gross. Is it is also sinister, cynical, and vaguely threatening to the purer folks of this world. You probably get off on that. You would cut a greasy fart, then blame it on your mom, and then just shrug when someone pointed out that she's dead.Yours is hands-down the most outrageous sense of humor; you like things trangressive and hardcore. It's highly likely (a) you have no limits (b) you have no scruples and (c) you have no job. Ironically, it's your type of humor that can make the biggest bucks in show business.PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Howard Stern - Adam Sandler - Roseanne BarrThe 3-Variable Funny Test! - it rules -If you're interested, try my best friend's best test: The Genghis Khan Genetic Fitness Masterpiece

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

My father’s mother who died before I was even born. Straight from Italy with the name Vincenta Tallarico (how Italian), married a redneck in Kentucky named Horton and was the type of little woman who cooked pasta almost every day and kissed everyone while singing songs from her homeland in the kitchen. My goodness, that is the one person I wish I could’ve met. But then again, it’s ok I didn’t, because she was of old age when my dad was born as my dad was old when I was born, and I think old geezer parents have lived their lives and can really focus on being a good parent, and thus raise a degenerate, foul-mouthed, coarse, cynical, grumpy yet well-mannered and content little fucker like me.

My Blog

2 years.

well that was a quick first two years in Los Angeles:from the food service to being more settled at the billiards job cuz of the loving dysfunctional family there to leaving the production job that mi...
Posted by on Wed, 17 Sep 2008 04:59:00 GMT

Kobe must NOT be compared to Jordan... ever.

Whether in good fun or not, Shaq has a valid pointAnd not to upset many delusional Laker's fans, but there will never be another Jordan in Kobe's lifetime.  NEVER.Just like in 04, another embaras...
Posted by on Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:56:00 GMT

Kanye West

Fuck Kanye West... Click the Link.  I love the Robert Randolph line at the bottom.Kanye @ BonnarooAnd don't give me that "you should be nice toward a man who's mom passed not too long ago" shit.I...
Posted by on Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:34:00 GMT

Read - How Thoughtful... Retro/Nowtro.

I have been chill with the comedy scene lately. Been trying to enjoy life. Had an incredible past two weeks with all the drinking shinanigans, giving up shifts since I can afford to, going to a couple...
Posted by on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 01:56:00 GMT

Michigan - less than 2 weeks. I’m burning out...

 tues am, american idol in line from 10am-430pm with darlene... actually flew by. had fun but will we get tickets just before it's too late?  thousands can only get a slim chance, stampede b...
Posted by on Thu, 22 May 2008 18:43:00 GMT

Sardos and MY DAMN LAPTOP... HELP!!!

Had a blast at Sardo's tonight.  The Greg Wilson tore it up just ranting off the top of his head toward weirdo audience members with a finger fucking joke to start and arnold sucking cock to clos...
Posted by on Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:07:00 GMT

The last drunken paste blog is too gay.

 That was too gay... that last blog... I’ll keep it up though.  True stuff, but too gay.  Gayer than everyone’s gay uncle Randy.Milk costs approx. 72 bucks now, so I’m...
Posted by on Tue, 01 Apr 2008 13:43:00 GMT

Drunken Reading of someone’s profile on AIM... and it is true as fuck.

READ THE FOLLOWING... DAMN, I AM SENTIMENTAL AND WEIRDLY NOT MYSELF FOR POSTING THIS.  THUS IS LIFE.  THANKS CHRIS...As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t suppos...
Posted by on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 03:14:00 GMT

Back to the mitten... the oh so boring mitten.....-----

-----..... but YOU make it all worthwhile!!!!It is true.  I will be visiting Michigan around June 3 and leaving a week or so later.  Looking forward to it this time, not having been home sin...
Posted by on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 12:41:00 GMT

Pretty Bird

If a bird goes deaf, is it's "tweet" as articulate and clear?  Or does it sound like Daniel Plainview's bastard in a basket at the end of 'THERE WILL BE BLOOD'?How would that be for a catchy t-sh...
Posted by on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 03:01:00 GMT