The name of the band is Doctor *’s Homemade Chocolate Penises. Let the * stand for Kissinger, Frankenstein, Mengele, Fabrikant, Ordinaire, Guevara or Seuss, it’s a unique sequence of words that’s original to language. So there can be two Freakencys, two C.C.C.P.'s, three Monks, two Klaxons, two Galaxie 500's, two Flowerpot Men (spelled slightly differently, but still...) two Bushs or even more heretical, two Godz, but there will only ever be one D.*.H.C.P. Otherwise you’ve fuckin’ run out of ideas and must be pitied, then shot.
Congratulations! You are one of the 666 members of the D.*.H.C.P. cabal. When losercore finally breaks, you'll be able to prove you were there at the beginning. Watch this radical new musical movement blossom right here on MySpace! This is so exciting I think I've just soiled myself! If you missed out and absolutely must be a part of this, all is not lost, but you'll have to demonstrate that you're a more desirable friend than one we already have on our list. This shouldn't be too difficult. Fine-ass biyatches with 268,947 friends and candy hip hop tunes on their page are ripe to be challenged, but choose wisely, goth babes and hotties who have sent personal messages with boudoir pics are here to stay. They're the ones who got us through the lean years.
We like: shitty synth rock bands with few friends.
We dislike: shitty synth rock bands signed to Geffen.
Oh yeah, and kindred humour goes a long way. I think I've given away quite enough cabal secrets, good luck!
A band that's about everything.
Okay, we're not really a band at all.
"And then its quiet, and they always say that...then its like, nothing happened until this little band from Seattle called Nirvana came in the late 80's. (laughs) Its like a secret history in a way, its like nobody really knows what happened in the 80's because there was really not much documentation of what exactly happened in underground music."
Thurston Moore (Sonic Youth) in Punk Attitude (A Film By Don Letts)
Hey, I just wanted something to sell, like everyone else here.