A long ass fuckin' time ago, there lived 3 little dudes: John (aka Fro), Louie (aka Black Seal), and Jon (aka Emo). One day, as these 3 amigos were walking along the street, they passed by some Jewish club and saw two Jew boys with yomecas on, playing guitar and begging for money outside the door. They passed by, dropping like 5 bucks, or something like that into the boys' yomeca on the ground, kept walking and then they fell into a deep-ass....hole. The hole was so deep-ass, that the amigos couldn't see shit and huddled together for warmth, and then they said "shit dude...this is fucking wierd..." Then, all of the sudden, the lights came on, they heard the sounds of a cracking whip, and all that was there was a drumset, a guitar, and a bass. They said, "okay" and each took up an instrument. Fro picked the bass, Black Seal swam to the geetar, and Emo beat the drums. But soon, they found that they had each made the wrong desicion, and decided to switch it up a bit. Now Fro was on geetar, Black Seal on drums, and Emo slapping on bass. But, again, they were defecated, so they switched one last time: Fro bangin' the drums, Black Seal fingering the bass, and Emo shreading up the geetar (literally, cuz he got angry at it!) Then out of nowhere *DUN Dun dun* Manbearpig creeped out of some doorway that had actually been there the whole time. And he said, "plaaaaayyy the bessst songgg in the world! or I'll eat your souls!" So they played the first thing that came to their head, and it sounded like shit, cuz damn Black Seal tried to fucking play the bass with a stick! So Manbearpig ate Black Seal's soul, and he dead. gone. bye bye. Manbearpig then said, "You two are pretty fucking cool. I like you. You have balls... I like balls. I shall pronounce your band to be called The Broken, and you will fucking blow some mother fuckers away!" So it was, just Fro and Emo chillin'. And Manbearpig let them out of the hole with their instruments (yes, this does mean that Fro had to carry the WHOLE fucking drumset). So they walked back towards their home. As they were walking back, they heard running from behind them and turned to see the Jew boys running with their guitars. They said, "Hey! You guys need a hand with all that equipment?? You know we might have been begging on the street, but we're Jewish, so naturally we're rich!" *Silence* "If you can't understand that, we have some mega recording studio if you guys wanna jam some time! Sorry we haven't introduced ourselves yet. I'm Beef, but you can call me Crooked Lip, and this is Zaddy, but you can just call him A.D.D." A.D.D. said, "Yo." yep. that's it. just yo. Then Crooked Lip interrupted the silence and said, "Our band's name is Nutchek, so we could show you some of our tunes!" So they all went back to Crooked Lip's studio (or house whatever you really wanna call it) and they busted out some Tasty Jams! Calling themselves Broken Nuts! A combination of the 2 bands. Unfortunately, the name was a curse, and at every practice atleast 4 people would break their nuts somehow! One day Crooked Lip was done with the Nut breaking, "Doods! We need a new name! And Fast, cuz it looks like A.D.D.'s about to get it!" *CRACK* "Shit! that just fucking broke my paradise!" screeched A.D.D. as he feel to the floor. "OH MY LANTA!" They all watched something come out of A.D.D.'s ass! His three bandmates all yelled "Dude! it's a bird! it's a plane! no what the fuck are we talking about its a fucking light bulb!" So they plugged it in and saw that it showed the name " Broken Paradise " across the ceilling. And this is the story of how Broken Paradise was born! Literally, it came right out of Zaddy's ass! And that's No Lie!
