im tryin this for the third time, who would have thought it would be this hard to write about myself....
i hate judgement. i hate those opinions that people might have of you which are entirely wrong, i hate the feeling of getting judged or feeling insecure with yourself. its not good, y'know people are hard to understand most of the time...i'd say i do care about what people think about me i think everyone does secretly. if they say "ohhh i dont care about what he/she thinks about me" im guessin they are lying just a little bit....whereas me i hate lettin people down or feelin like ive made someone feel crappy but i suppose everyone does. maybe i dont like failure, or just that i try to put people before myself...i used to think that school was just a mess, created by the government to eternally piss us off. we were just learning things for the sake of exams which didnt mean that much, but now i see that, that was just the easy part of life. sometimes i wish i could go back, maybe to year seven when all we cared about was the fact that we didnt have a playground and we didnt get free milk at break times. and how we moaned about the year 11s pushing infront of us in the dinner queue or lookin at us weird down a corridor. but now i just get on with it, i dont believe that you should wish your life away or that you should regret any of your decisions, (thats obviously a bit of a contradiction cos i do and i know we all do), but you should make the most of what you've got and be happy with you.
i used to never know what i wanted to do with my life. i just conformed to what everyone else was doing, i hid the real me. Ive found that true person now and it feels good to express that. Ive learnt sooooooooooo much in the past 4 weeks, ive been inspired by 3 people who have done soooo much for me- Seline Wakely, Rachel Webster and Sarah Middleton you know who you are.
Im simply just followin my dreams/ my passion now, its gone be hardwork ye ye but im excited you know, im a hardworker and i guess its gonna pay off. DANCE. thats what intend to devote my life to for awhile now and im gonna enjoy myself most of all....anyways.
But yehhh i think you've got to have goals in your life, things to look forward to maybe dreams yeah. ive got many, i suppose the main ones would be to make people laugh/happy, for myself to be happy, To DANCE and live and probably to find and know my dad... Steve?.
2008 has taught me a lot and so has 2009 soo far, a lot of good stuff has happened to me and there have been a couple of bad times but there are always gonna be.but you've got to go through the bad stuff to let the great stuff begin, yeah life lets you down sometimes ive figured that out but there is always someone there to pick up the pieces i think...
