If the turtle neck sweater your wearing catches on fire please remain seated |
If it wasn't for masturbation or eating doritos I'd never get any exercise...oh ya and Lynyrd Skynyrd.
Posted by on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 07:25:00 GMT |
Dancing on the ceiling |
I'm watching Iron chef right now and the special ingredient is a homeless mans vomit...i wonder how they'll pull this one off?
Posted by on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 21:38:00 GMT |
Cold,salty ham yogurt |
Never...take a breath mint in front of your co-workers and not offer them one, cause they'll think that their breath is so horribly bad it has deprived you the ability to communicate...and it probably...
Posted by on Thu, 10 May 2007 22:40:00 GMT |
Spencer Pratt is a Douche. |
I wish they would draft the entire cast of the hills, and send them to Falluhjah.
Posted by on Wed, 07 Mar 2007 21:17:00 GMT |
The new John Stamos is a fucking cyborg! |
I love TV, I love all TV. Even the TV I hate I love with great abandon. But what I don't love is the people who hate on the TV, you know the people that say " turn off your TV, go out and live l...
Posted by on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:37:00 GMT |
Korean BBQ |
If someone were to ask me to describe myself as a moment, it would be in a dimly lit living room, sitting in a lazy boy chair in my underwear with a bowl of microwavable velveeta ...
Posted by on Wed, 07 Feb 2007 23:14:00 GMT |
I should be showering but... |
The eyes are supposed to be the window to the soul, or so they say. If that's the case there's a naked dude hanging out in my eyes eating nachos and watching re-runs of Gilmore girls.
Posted by on Tue, 30 Jan 2007 18:48:00 GMT |
Snowblind or willing to sleep with Tom Selleck for the greater good of the kids or something. |
I hate snow and cold tempratures, yah see I'm from the east Coast and since moving to the west coast I've become acclimatized to the moist, damp and generally weak British Columbian winters, so now wh...
Posted by on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 00:14:00 GMT |
Liza Minnelli wrote the bible...on weed. |
I got my ears candled for Christmas, do you know what came out of my ears after such a session? A chunk of brownish yellow wax that looked kinda like Magic Johnson, but smelled like Rosie O'...
Posted by on Mon, 25 Dec 2006 22:36:00 GMT |
I'm old |
I just tried to get up off the couch and wound up shitting myself.
Posted by on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 21:47:00 GMT |
