Jaynesy

My granny was the seventh child of a seventh child and was born on Halloween. A true witch.
When I was little my pet dog bit through my scrotum.
Immediately after eating 11 large slices of pizza to win an eating competition I walked a half-marathon.
I spent Christmas 1999 in a neck brace.
I never learned to drive or do joined up writing.
My father used to be known in the business world as Mr. T. owing to his management of the United Kingdom Tea Association and his average consumption of 8 mugs per day.
I have been injured by the world's strongest man.
My brother "The Rhyme Traveller" writes hip-hop columns for Record Collector and Ethics Magazine.
I have been kissed by a giraffe, seen a pink dolphin in the wild and been within a few feet of an albino kangaroo.
I once lost a briefcase containing 20,000 pounds in genuine banknotes.
My mother is a tournament bridge "Life Master".
I was 18 when I realised it was called an "own" goal and not a "gnome" goal.
My birthday, July 29th, coincides with Charles and Diana's ill-fated wedding, Van Gogh's death after shooting himself, the day that Mussolini was born and Hitler's election as chairman of the Nazi party. Bad news.
I was on the cover of "Rad" issue 119.
I used to be a maths tutor, offering my services under the name "Matthewmatics".