About Me
My mom said that when I was young, I didn't cry. She said I was a perfect child...Then I started feeling things. Seeing that my tiny world of make believe was not perfect. I had to know why. I STARTED A HUGE WAR, with myself. The battle consumed me and the wreckage spanned the globe. It was on. Oh, it was on. I had to know why. Why did demons and ghosts haunt me and why was I searching? What was I looking for? At 13, I shaved a mohawk onto my head and I ran away from home, lived on the streets, rooftops, bedroom floors and MOTEL HELL. Extra credit to any OG hard enough to know what that is. I pillaged the city. I had no code, except to my street rats. Life was hard; lessons were harder, yet I miss those carefree days when life was still easy to appreciate each moment. There was no future. Each second of my glamorous lifestyle that everyone frowned upon was filled with passion. The type of passion that most people unknowingly submit and trade in for a more "traditional" life. I worked at over 30 nightclubs, 5-7 days a week over a 10-year period. Cathouse, Camp Hollywood, Scream and Bordello were my favorites. Life was surreal. As I got older, the war got harder. I had a baby when I was 20. The most beautiful child I could ever imagine. But the war was on and life or death was at hand. Those close to me saw the pain, but could not imagine the Dr. Jekyl inside of me that tortured me behind closed doors. They would reach out, but the phone seemed to be out of my reach. I could no longer run, I could no longer search. I decided to jump into the cyclone one final time. LIFE OR DEATH. To see what was in the center. To see what I was so scared of, what I was searching for and what I was running from. I could no longer live in the status quo. The house shook, blood spilled, I cried, others cried, I was hurt, others got hurt, the gun spoke, years went by and then silence. I lay on the ground, bloody, beaten and bruised. I had finally faced what I was running from... ME. I had finally found what I was so desperately searching for... ME. I was finally at peace. I had learned the Art of War. I was the hero of self-suffering. Life would never be the same. Life would always have a distinct clarity. Everything would be in HD. Flat liners taught me about Amends. I had many god shot blessings to see other veterans of MY war. I made good to them. I reluctantly submitted my passion for a more traditional life. My life is not perfect by anyone’s standards, but I feel like I am blessed. This is all bonus time. Time that I do not want to take for granted. Time that I will always be vigilant of you. Time that I will reach out to you if I see a familiar look in your eye. Sometimes I know you, sometimes I don't formally, BUT I KNOW YOU. Let yourself win.
