A plaintive cry
a bleeting lost lamb.
alone to die
trapped before the dam.
Caught on a sigh
loathing who I am.
Chapped and bloody lips
chew at old pain.
heartbreak my throat grips
I swallow my disdain.
Bloody vein drips
and I become a stain.
In my solitude
I wonder why it's me
uncomfortably screwed,
left dangling from a tree.
Poisoned attitude
that none will choose me.
I am further killed
by the ache in my breast
Broken, strangled, stilled
by bloody disinterest.
By heavy sorrow filled
and laid to my rest.
Rejected and alone, I wallow in the feces of my own distaste.
Pain, rage, violence
intense and inescapable
I grab the throat of my self pity.
and squeeze the breath from my misery.
Why?
I asked myself, but I knew the truth
it was my own pathetic uselessness
that drove the rejection
And I would choke that too.
Eyes coated red
with anger and disgust
I squeeze with all my strength
about the neck of my foe.
And at last it is still,
bruised, silent, and broken.
Eyes stare up at me
glazed now with death,
no longer pitying
no longer crying.
Eyes that belong to me.
A sudden spurt of Narcissism I suppose...
Every Life is a game, with rules given to the player at birth. Some play the game for their own gratification, for their own pleasure. A rare few play it for the gratification and pleasure of others.
Pirate James is one of those.
These are the rules he was handed at his birth.
Pirate James must try to please others
Pirate James cannot accept gifts
Pirate James must try his hardest at everything
Pirate James will fail at all that he tries
Pirate James must start many things
Pirate James must not finish anything
Pirate James must always have problems with money
Pirate James must always be alone
Pirate James must always sacrifice what he has
Pirate James must always listen to music
Pirate James will know love
Pirate James will know hate
Pirate James must not lie
Pirate James must be faithful in all things
Pirate James will be lied to
Pirate James will be cheated on
Pirate James must bleed alone
Pirate James must bleed in silence
And most importantly.
Pirate James will never get what he wants.
This is no quiz you can take to discover what the rules to your game are. Nor is it something someone else can tell you. It is an acceptance of the realities of what we call life. Everyone has a moment when they realize what the rules are to their game.
This is my moment.
You can copy and paste it a million times and nothing special will happen to you. You can fill out your own rules, to your own game, and it won't make anything better.
It didn't make anything better for me.
But then, just refer to the last rule.
