i will help you with EVERYTHING :D
but i specialise in advice with your love life :)
ADD SHORT STACK!
the story:
i was born long long, long ago. the reason i have lived for so ling is because i am a magical skull and cross bones pirate wizard from the planet rad. i arrived here on a space ship and was sent to be super mega best friends with the ones known as "short stack". however i was accidently sent 2000 years to before short stack's birth. oh noooo. an way, i was on a quest to find them and i searched for days. in my desparation i accidently mistook jesus for the one they call shaun diviney. anyway this jesus guy begged me to be his friend, and i was all "shit leave me alone" so i did some shit for him, like turn his water to wine, make him walk on water (the things i can do because i am a magical pirate). then he got killed. anyway, i just chilled for like a thousand or so years, did the usual, started a face book account, watched seinfeld dvds, joined my local squash team, the i thought i met the one they call bradie. but i was once again mistaken, for it was leonardo davinci. this guy was pretty cool, he was a strugling artist so i let him draw me. we hung out a lot, then he invited me to his house one night. "maurice" he said, "you have given me my career, so i am very greatful of what u have done."
"ayy no problem, LD" i said.
"but i am feeling something more for you..." he continued. anyway, one thing lead to another and he ended up trying to make me touch his pee pee. i pretty much avoided him all together after that, ya know, i changed my cell, deleted him off my myspace page. and he got pissed off then changed all the pictures he took of me to some chick! any way i was pretty upset so i began to cry...
another few hundred years passed then i met some one i thought was the one they call andy! however i was mistaken, it was paris hilton. we had some good times, we partied, we pinged, the usual. but then one day i found out where shaun, andy and bradie were located! i needed the money to fly over there but paris wouldnt give it to me, and kets face it, i cant get a job cos no one would employ me cos i have no hands. so i made a sex tape of paris then sold it for plane tickets to australia!
i am curently super best awesom-o friends with short stack. they are pretty bitchinnnnn haha and i want to meet you too!
so drop me a comment and we'll have a converation!
:D
