Ineffectuals

The phenomenon that is the Ineffectuals evolved from humble beginnings, as a small group of friends in the suburbs of rainy Eugene, Oregon. Young Wesley Curtis, Kris Cardwell, and Derek Clark had become friends in middle school, not yet knowing that the fortune that brought their paths to cross would eventually lead to the creation of the greatest band of all time. Both Curtis and Clark were masters of the guitar and were also both proficient with the bass, while Cardwell was a skilled drummer. When the three friends finally realized that, not only were they all talented musicians who shared the same musical visions, but that all of their last names began with the letter “C,” it became evident that destiny was calling and a band should be formed. With the addition of Kris’ brother Quinn, the band gained a new member while still maintaining the last-name-beginning-with-C’s bond. There was only one last thing to do: come up with a band name. No one knows why the band chose the controversial name “Ineffectuals,” as it is a closely guarded secret. All we can really say is that this band is not ineffectual in any way; infact, one listen may leave you effected for the rest of your life. --Hadley Johns