Christopher K profile picture

Christopher K

About Me

A reluctant user of paper towels and a friend to all cats. I can parallel park like nobody's business, I'm noncommittal to my facial hair, and I typically smell OK, so far as I know. I enjoy hassling airport security, getting lost, and doing anything I really shouldn't do. Although I know what it's like to be trapped inside a Colombian brothel, inexplicably, old people love me.

A drunken Englishman once told me that quitting my job and moving from everything I love in Olympia, Washington to Colombia was an excellent idea. I've always been easily influenced by random drunks , but in fact, it was the biggest mistake I could think to make. I now live in lovely Bogota, Colombia, where the sound of explosions is really, honestly, almost always just fireworks. I put photos here and sometimes people say nice things about them. I wrote an article about life in Colombia here . Plus, there's this blog thing that gets updated on the sober days.

I am perhaps best known as the victim of a cruel, cruel aluminum foil experiment . Confused by the shiny pictures? Read an interview with the primary responsible evildoer here . I'll tell you this: foil the inside of your house and you'll save on heating bills, but don't alert the media, or else you'll be getting phone calls from wacky morning zoo crew radio hosts at 5AM for weeks.

I know what time it is, where it's at, I get both up and down, and if you need to know exactly what is the rumpus, just ask, man.

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My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Geeks and nerds. People who work on the inside. Interesting losers. Generous sponsors. Freaks of all stripes. People who make things, play things, say things, film things, blow them up, or appreciate those who do.I still haven't met Kevin Sykes, Seymour Hersh, and Brian Williams - he seems like quite a charming fellow. Alan Moore, Grant Morrison and Warren Ellis, Chris Ware, Dan Clowes, and Ivan Brunetti. Malcolm Gladwell, Brian Eno, Rudy Rucker and Cory Doctorow. Ira Glass and Sarah Vowell. Gilbert Gottfried. Gene Wilder. Charles Grodin. Debbie Harry. About half a billion other people I'm sure I'd like in some way.

My Blog

Streetwise Bachelor Degree

FIRST PROBLEM:Youre walking alone on a dark downtown street. Its late.This is a timed exercise. Get it right, you get nothing. Dont get it wrong.Halfway up the block you see a couple getting robbed...
Posted by on Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:29:00 GMT

The Giving of the High Hat

I came to in the morning with no money, half a bag of BBQ potato chips, and a lovely 19-year-old girl. How do these things happen  first, I thought I had an over-25 rule, and then, where did I fi...
Posted by on Wed, 21 Jan 2009 05:23:00 GMT

Hunting Cuntbuckets

Anyone knows me, knows few things make me Christmas-morning giddy like winding up US military douchebags. Like the Marine cuntbucket who told me, "look, man, I'm not here to talk to you, I'm here to g...
Posted by on Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:58:00 GMT

Lets Do Colombia

My friends Tom (Ginger Tom, from England) and Sammy (Shazam, from Australia) have released the first in a series of short films called "Let's Do Colombia." Ginger Tom plays Tommo, a traditional Aussie...
Posted by on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:47:00 GMT

Plain Deep Oddity

"It was the worst thing I've ever seen," she said, "and I work as an ER nurse." I'm directly across the street from the Hostel Sue, visiting friends. We hear the commotion out the window  a cop on a...
Posted by on Wed, 16 Apr 2008 23:51:00 GMT

Two-fisted Tales of Douchebaggery

Paul asks me what I think, but I wouldn’t know. Paul’s a six-foot-plus Chinese guy with long hair  distinctive, to say the least. "See that black guy up on the stage next to the DJ?" he s...
Posted by on Fri, 21 Mar 2008 14:54:00 GMT

Street Wisdom

I'm a fan of street food. I say, take a mediocre hot dog and cook it in a cart next to some dim alley at 3AM and it becomes a magic hot dog... which I imagine is literally possible given enough strang...
Posted by on Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:28:00 GMT

Oh, the Shamelessness

This blog has been brought to you thanks to the generous support of many good people. Now, friends and neighbors, I'm gonna try passing the hat all the way 'round  there are some interesting things d...
Posted by on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:53:00 GMT

Eight Kinds of Wrong

Approaching midnight and the cell phone, it speaks to me.Henry rents a huge old hotel-sized house for a price that would make you green. The central courtyard has a glass roof and is perfect for showi...
Posted by on Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:28:00 GMT

Still Not Dead Yet

Yeah, it's been a long time, I know. Due to a case of aggravated fuckery, there is no internet in my house at this time, and seeing what these people do to computers at internet cafes makes my nerd so...
Posted by on Sun, 23 Sep 2007 18:27:00 GMT