Jessie Bear profile picture

Jessie Bear

The most splendid achievement of all is the constant striving to surpass yourself and to be worthy o

About Me


So the name's Jess. I'm kind of a complex girl. It's hard to understand my thoughts half the time. I tend to second guess myself and have a hard time with decisions. I often chose other people's happiness over my own. Trust is a hard thing to explain for me. I can be hyprocritical at times. Like: I want love, but I'm scared of it. Mostly I'm just afraid of getting hurt yet again. Letting go is extremely difficult for me at times. I feel like there's so much wasted opportunity. I strongly dislike people who mess with other's hearts for no reason. I don't see the point in being a liar or player. At the end of the day, you're still just alone & unhappy with yourself if you have to lie. Honesty is what makes me sane. I hate the thoughts of a guilty conscience. I love finding the perfect quote for every situation. It's the most powerful feeling when you reach your full potential. Sadly, I'm not there yet. Tardiness & procrastination are my flaws. I smile a lot when I'm nervous or uncomfortable. I don't like being mean unless it's absolutely necessary. I keep everything bottled inside... Until I have a mini-breakdown like once a month. That's when writing becomes my escape. I tend to think too much & worry often. There's never a second that I'm not curious about something. Satisfaction is pretty much my main dream. I know I'll get there one day, but waiting sucks. Accounting has been my passion the past 3 years. I don't know why, but I'm apparently I'm gifted in it. Last spring, I placed 1st at State's in Accounting 2 for FBLA. Business concepts are like common sense to me. After enrolling & the whole nine yards, I opted out of going to UMiami 2 weeks before semester start. People say I'm dumb for wasting my natural intelligence. But I knew I wasn't ready. So why go beyond in debt to still just be unhappy? A lot has changed since the fall though. I still get scared thinking of the future... However, I'm tired of stalling. I am trying to get back on track with my life now. I'm signed up for classes at CSM for spring & hopefully getting a job again soon. I may not be 100% ready yet, but I need the change. Like I said before, I don't like wasted opportunities.

My Interests

I always have the most fun I can. If that means going to a football game, movies, shopping, partying or just chillin and driving around... I make the best of every situation and will always find something to do.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: jess or jwonn
Birthday: march 17th
Birthplace: p.g. county, md
Current Location: h-town, md
Eye Color: blue with green/gray
Hair Color: red/brown with blonde highlights
Height: 5'9
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: german and irish
The Shoes You Wore Today: ♥flip-flops
Your Weakness: boys and procrastination
Your Fears: the dark and snakes
Your Perfect Pizza: cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: get into one of my top 3 college choices
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: lol or kk
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Shit! it's 7:10 already? Oh well"
Your Best Physical Feature: hair and smile
Your Bedtime: whenev... like 2 a.m.
Your Most Missed Memory: my ex-bff
Pepsi or Coke: coke, but i don't drink soda anymore
McDonalds or Burger King: neither. fast-food is horrible for you
Single or Group Dates: single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: not into tea. sorry, i'm not southern enough :(
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: frappuccino
Do you Smoke: nope. quit 3 months ago
Do you Swear: guilty
Do you Sing: if there's music
Do you Shower Daily: it's gross not to
Have you Been in Love: once
Do you want to go to College: of course!
Do you want to get Married: one day
Do you belive in yourself: most of the time
Do you get Motion Sickness: only when i snowplow with my dad
Do you think you are Attractive: yes
Are you a Health Freak: not particularly
Do you get along with your Parents: not really. the mom's psychotic and dad's emotionally distant
Do you like Thunderstorms: if i'm not alone
Do you play an Instrument: that's a negative
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: yes
In the past month have you Smoked: nope. and i'm proud of myself
In the past month have you been on Drugs: sorry. just once
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: ♥of course
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: 1.they're not in boxes; 2.that's disgraceful if anyone's eaten a whole container; 3. i dont eat junk food anymore. duh
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: naw. i depise that crap
In the past month have you been on Stage: actually, yea
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: not recently. too cold
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: uh... my bad
Ever been Drunk: it happens to the best of us
Ever been called a Tease: too many times. oh well
Ever been Beaten up: are you shittin me? naw fool
Ever Shoplifted: sadly, yes
How do you want to Die: sleeping or suddenly, so its not as painful
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a business lawyer and accountant
What country would you most like to Visit: australia = hot surfer guys + accents
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue or brown
Favourite Hair Color: darker. but some blondies are sweet too
Short or Long Hair: they're both hot. as long as it matches your personality
Height: def taller. 5'9 +
Weight: not a big deal
Best Clothing Style: any, as long as it is style
Number of Drugs I have taken: only pot
Number of CDs I own: a gazillion
Number of Piercings: 9 -ears x3, tongue, industrial and tragus
Number of Tattoos: none yet
Number of things in my Past I Regret: a couple. live, learn and grow

CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

I'd like to meet:


Anyone really. I try not to be as judgemental as I used to be. I think it's neat to play 21 questions & learn about new friends. You never truly understand someone until you talk to them.

Music:

ROCK: 311, 3 Doors Down, Aerosmith, Avenged Sevenfold, Blink-182, Blue October, Breaking Benjamin, Creed, Dashboard Confessional, Fall Out Boy, Foo Fighters, Hinder, Hoobastank, Incubus, Limp Bizkit, ♥Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Nickelback, Papa Roach, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Simple Plan, ♥Staind, Stone Sour, Story of the Year, Sugarcult, Sum 41, Taking Back Sunday, The Almost, The Killers, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Used, Track Fighter, ♥Three Days Grace, Yellowcard.
SOFT ROCK: ♥All American Rejects, Collective Soul, Goo Goo Dolls, ♥Ingram Hill, Jack Johnson, John Mayer, Lifehouse, ♥Matchbox Twenty, Switchfoot, The Churchills, Train, Vertical Horizon.
COUNTRY: Billy Currington, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Faith Hill, Gary Allen, Jason Aldean, ♥Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, Lee Ann Womack, Montgomery Gentry, ♥Rascal Flatts, Tim McGraw.
HIP-HOP/R&B: Akon, Beyonce, ♥Chris Brown, Eminem, Frankie J, Justin Timberlake, Kanye West, Kelly Rowland, Ludacris, Nelly Furtado, Pussycat Dolls, ♥Rihanna, Usher.
OTHER: Avril Lavigne, ♥Bob Marley, Evanescence, Gym Class Heros, ♥Jesse McCartney, JoJo, Kelly Clarkson, Maroon 5, Pink, The Veronicas.

Movies:

FAVORITES: 10 Things I Hate About You, A Walk to Remember, Akeelah & the Bee, Big Fish, Coach Carter, Crash, Freedom Writers, Hardball, Hope Floats, How to Deal, Karate Kid, Life as a House, ♥Light It Up, Mighty Ducks, My Girl, Now & Then, Pay It Forward, Raise Your Voice, She's All That, Spanglish, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, The Notebook, The Pursuit of Happyness.

Television:

mtv, the ♥disney channel, and 'the n' are pretty much the only things i watch.

Dawson's Creek, Degrassi, Laguna Beach, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, ♥The OC, The Real World

Books:

anyone who knows me, knows that i don't read books... it's not that i don't like to, i just never have the time. hopefully i can change that though, because reading can actually be enjoyable. i know, lame, but true.

Heroes:

MY FRIENDS To all my friends who have been there for me these past 5 years, thank you! You have no idea how much you've helped me survive. My friends are my family, and without them I would be lost.

My Blog

the official update on jess...

i'm not depressed anymore per se, but not happy either... it's a weird feeling finally moving on. obviously i'm not completely there yet, but it takes time. it's hard to forgive some people when they...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Thu, 04 Oct 2007 12:24:00 PST

something is wrong with me again =[

i feel sick to my stomach and dizzy all the time now. for more than the past like 3 weeks, literally. and i can hardly ever sleep. i'm up all night, until like noon the next day. then i'll ...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Fri, 13 Jul 2007 12:33:00 PST

i really don't want to lose you...

they say "it takes two" to make a good relationship, and that's why i'm asking for your help. i really love you, but things just aren't right between us, and i can't fix it alone. they say "relationsh...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Mon, 21 May 2007 11:23:00 PST

9th month progress...

Okay, so a couple days ago was the 9th month anniversary (if that's an appropriate word)... and this one is definitely going to be upbeat and has great news. so without further ado: I wanted to lose 1...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Wed, 02 May 2007 02:25:00 PST

8th month progress...

so i'm a little late for this update, but here it goes... last month i only lost about 6 pounds. obviously i didn't meet the goal of 13 pds i think it was. but on a good note, atleast i...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:12:00 PST

7th month progress...

i can finally say i have good news for this progress. if someone would have told me a year ago where i'd be today, i would have called them a liar or fraud... i've already admitted to my old ways and ...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Tue, 06 Mar 2007 01:53:00 PST

Car accident / hospital x3...

so yea, the title says it all... you'd think i'd love hospitals by now... or not. i miss my 'lil celica guys. she was my baby and now my love is totaled... i know i sound retarded, but seriously. me ...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Tue, 20 Feb 2007 04:14:00 PST

Post- Surgery update...

its okay guys, everything went well for the most part... the incissions just hurt like a bitch and are still bleeding now. it hurts to like bend or sit up at all, which sucks, but i'm glad it's f...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Thu, 15 Feb 2007 05:38:00 PST

Hospital, again...

so yea, the title says it all... i'm in the hospital again guys. and yes, they do allow laptops now and have wireless, which is badass ;) but anyway, last night i had another attack when i was do...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Wed, 14 Feb 2007 07:15:00 PST

6th Month Progress...

In light of the past couple blogs, I think it's finally time for that belated update... If you've actually read those blogs, you know that it's been a struggle this past month or so. First it was...
Posted by Jessie Bear on Fri, 09 Feb 2007 03:51:00 PST