Life is placed into the most simplistic terms when one is faced with huge adversarial situations. It is almost as if, the moment one is placed upon the knife's cold edge, in war, in moments of complete destitution, or faced with anything that tends to take away intensely, all of one's life falls into perfect place. All of one's social relationships become perfectly in focus, one's faith in God, one's dreams for the future; all of these things are actualized, often to a degree of perfection that is difficult to attain otherwise. If you've never been in a bad auto accident, in war, or otherwise stared death in the face and survived, then you will most likely not understand what I mean...
With that said, I will begin to explain where I've found myself from this point on in my life. All of those superfluous things that I used to burn precious energy and time on have left me for good. My life is in perfect focus, my degree, my future, my relationships with the people that I love. It's all clear, as if looking through binoculars. I am in the US Army now, and they are sending me to school to become an officer, and an Army psychologist.
I've found myself at some strange places lately. At art museums in Atlanta, which I've never really done before but have found extremely powerful places. At a piano bar drinking dry martinis, at an airport in Richmond Virginia, six miles off the trailhead drinking Gatorade staring at stars, and also the gun range. All good times!
So yeah... that's me.
"The weight of the world
is love.
Under the burden
of solitude,
under the burden
of dissatisfaction
the weight,
the weight we carry
is love.
Who can deny?
In dreams
it touches
the body,
in thought
constructs
a miracle,
in imagination
anguishes
till born
in human--
looks out of the heart
burning with purity--
for the burden of life
is love,
but we carry the weight
wearily,
and so must rest
in the arms of love
at last,
must rest in the arms
of love.
No rest
without love,
no sleep
without dreams
of love--
be mad or chill
obsessed with angels
or machines,
the final wish
is love
--cannot be bitter,
cannot deny,
cannot withhold
if denied:
the weight is too heavy
--must give
for no return
as thought
is given
in solitude
in all the excellence
of its excess.
The warm bodies
shine together
in the darkness,
the hand moves
to the center
of the flesh,
the skin trembles
in happiness
and the soul comes
joyful to the eye--
yes, yes,
that's what
I wanted,
I always wanted,
I always wanted,
to return
to the body
where I was born."
-Alan Ginsberg, Song
SOME INCREDIBLE SHOTS FROM IRAQ
A.K.A. "ALWAYS FORWARD"
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