Scott profile picture

Scott

About Me

i drink and smoke and curse. i do all three well and i do them a lot. when i grow up i want to be a firetruck OR a dinosaur. it doesn't burn when i pee. i will someday die. my ass is bony. i dated two cheerleaders in my life despite never going to the games in which they cheered. i like multisyllabic words. i have grey hairs. i lock my door a lot more lately. i once watched someone puke in a cup and then drink it. it was both awesome and revolting. i'm enigmatic, charming, and your worst fucking nightmare. i hate sushi but love sake bombs. i'd clean my car but i was really kinda hoping that you'd drive. radiohead is overrated. i WILL win the lottery some day. i think feet are kinda gross, but i really dislike belly buttons. i could eat mexican food every day of my life but it's a good thing i don't so as to maintain my girlish figure. if i had to pick only one cd to take with me for the rest of my life i'd shoot myself in the face. a straight guy cuts my hair. i've never eaten a booger. sometimes i rhyme drunk, sometimes i rhyme sober. your mom loves me, even if she never met me. guarantee it. i have good credit. i'm watching you right now. i've made out in bathrooms but never in a car. i once saw a roly poly bigger than the world. i want to be welcomed not just tolerated. i suck at basketball. i was the typo, you were the liquid paper. i say words like brotha, word, mufucka, fantastic, wack, genius and amazing way too much. i'll be the best mistake you'll ever make. i think fake boobs are less than attractive. i can't sing. i didn't go to my prom. if you're better looking than me or rich or both, i will probably hate you. i'm so gangsta prissy chicks don' wanna fuck wit me. i think reality television sucks your balls. your friends totally want me but they'll never tell you. i once got high off spray paint fumes by accident but i've never smoked pot. i'm the first to leave and you're the last to know. i have a $60 bottle of scotch i refuse to open because it cost $60 and when it's gone i couldn't afford another. i talk a lot and sometimes do so just to hear myself speak. i've never broken a bone or worn a cast. i probably think you're full of shit and am not afraid to tell you so. my name is humpty, pronounced with an 'umpty.' i think you should get your tubes tied because i hate children. i've never been punched in the face but i've punched a few people in the face. i have feminine hands. i floss my teeth and am appalled by how many people don't. i won't check out your stupid girlfriend because i don't want to give either of you the satisfaction, though i'm thoroughly flattered that you both checked ME out. i go to concerts and movies alone and don't mind it one bit. and lastly, i'll show you mine if you show me your's and you're too drunk to remember mine. MyGen Profile Generator

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

chaka khan, everyone who made fun of me in grade school, gary busey, the girl i made out with behind the playground in kindergarten whose name i didn't (and still don't) know, the guy who invented speed bumps so i can drop kick his first born child, and lastly but most importantly, the guy who created this:

My Blog

Version 2 point oh.

Alright fuckfaces, here's the deal. As some of you noted, my profile went blank for a bit whilst I reworked my online persona and I wanted to let you know it's back in newly revised form. As some of y...
Posted by on Mon, 03 Jul 2006 15:23:00 GMT

You became the satellite, the moment that we collided

Alright, so I'll keep this pretty short. Here's a rather fast update on what's crackin' as the kids are so fond of saying.1) I am absolutely amazed by the amount of incredbile local bands in LA. I mea...
Posted by on Tue, 20 Jun 2006 19:56:00 GMT

NEW BLOG! HOLY SHIT! IT'S EVEN NOT FUNNY!

For all intents and purposes, and considering I didn't really accomplish much, this past weekend was pretty great. Here are some highlights: 1) Friday I went drinking with a bunch of people from work ...
Posted by on Mon, 05 Jun 2006 20:03:00 GMT

This is morning, waking up when you're still at the bar

Ok kids, gather round for another installment of some friday thoughts (aka "i'm too tired, a little hung over and definitely unmotivated to actually do work right now" thoughts). Where-oh-where to beg...
Posted by on Fri, 10 Mar 2006 10:21:00 GMT

Friday March 3rd thoughts x 5

Ok, so I haven't done this in forever (why does it seem I start everyONE of these like that...) so I figured what better time than when I am getting paid by the man, looking out my window at downtown...
Posted by on Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:59:00 GMT

An update chock full of cheer

Dearest Bro's and/or Ho's (Ho's, Ho's...ok, I don't blame you if you stop reading right absofuckinglutely now. that was shameful. BAD SCOTT! BAD!): Ok, so I was again notified by my one and only lo...
Posted by on Wed, 21 Dec 2005 17:24:00 GMT

Something, ANYthing new here...

Ok, so I haven't thrown anything cool here in so long, and I know I need to because apparently there were 137 people who actually read it, but more likely it's just Chad and Steve each reading it 68 t...
Posted by on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 12:48:00 GMT

Beer and Smoking in Las Vegas

Just for the record, according to popular opinion, I don't do these enough. Popular opinion being the amount of people I can fit in my car. And I own a Civic. A 2 door Civic. A good Civic, but smal...
Posted by on Fri, 29 Jul 2005 14:40:00 GMT

At least YOU didn't write them...And if you did, please don't tell me.

Ok, seriously. I'm not trying to be an absolute asshole, which I know may be surprising. And I'm always a fan of a good joke. Particulary a smart one that takes time to get (like most of mine, right.....
Posted by on Thu, 09 Jun 2005 11:37:00 GMT

Why I sometimes wouldn't mind being deaf...

So sitting at this desk and streaming Indie 103 all day I have come to a few conclusions about it and the music it plays. First off, Indie has some of the most annoying commercials I've ever heard....
Posted by on Wed, 04 May 2005 10:14:00 GMT