Dr. McDorky profile picture

Dr. McDorky

I will protect you from Ninja!

About Me


I am really a very deep and popular person. Never mind the fact that I have to say it. :p

Ok, all kidding aside (or behind) I try to be a modern day samurai. Living life to the fullest with no regrets of inaction and with honor. I have a quirky sense of humor and feed really well off people in a group dynamic. I'll add more on my hobbies and interests in a bit. In the meantime, has anyone seen the smurf that ran off with my smurfberries? Damn smurfs are mental for those berries.

I was born and raised a dork. Spent much of my childhood and high school years perfecting it and it showed. Played my first video game when i was about 5 and wrote my first little computer program by 9. Since those glory days I've maintained my dork status with "poker games" and by fighting off an addiction to online video games. I respect and love all that is Dork.

I'm an avid fan of working out and taking care of myself. I do it for my own well being and not for any aspirations of being a model or picking up ladies. While i believe looks do matter (you must be attracted to a potential mate) they only get you in the door, then its time to put up some quality personality or hop on the train to Doucheville.

Family and friends are more important to me than my job or anything material. I'll gladly take off to spend a day with them and have been spending as much time as possible with my baby niece Aliyah. I'll fight like a ninja to protect them, tolerating no one to hurt them. Take a shot at me? Fine, thats your freebie, hurt a loved one and i'm gonna be the last thing you see. I have a black belt in Aikido and have seen every episode of Dragon Ball Z so i can back it up. ;)

I dont take this site seriously. So dont take offense. I know 90% of the friends on my page and dont believe i'm going to meet my future ex-wife on myspace. Can it happen? Sure. Likely not to me though. On that note, i'm willing to meet almost anyone out for coffee or cocktails to chat and make friends. Also, knocking over a 7-11 can be a great way to get to know someone too. ;)

Oh, and Ninja's rule. Just to be clear.

Tell Me About Yourself Survey Name Many Aliases: Dr.McDorky, Nips, Magnus VonHugen... Birthday October was the month of my spawning. Birthplace A gutter in South Dakota, never made it out. Current Location Sin city of the midwest, Murderaplois! Eye Color Greenish Hair Color Brownish Height 5'11"ish Right Handed or Left Handed Right for most things, left when I want to feel like I'm cheating on myself.. Your Heritage 50% German, with the rest being Czech, Austrian, Gypsie, and a tad of Krptonian. The Shoes You Wore Today Gucci Loafers. Found them on some bum... Your Weakness Blond hair, boobies, Kryptonite, Sapphire Tonics, hope. Your Fears Watching those I love get hurt. Oh, and the group Chumbawamba. Your Perfect Pizza Pepperoni, mushroom, onion form Pizzano's in Chi-town. Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year Get a new job. This one blows. Your Most Overused Phrase On Instant Messenger "Stop fucking talking to me!!" ;) Thoughts First Waking Up What the fuck? Oh you silly hooker. Your Best Physical Feature You superficial whore. Its on the inside that counts. If you must know, my taint is glorious. Your Bedtime 10-12 on weekdays, 3-5 on weekends. Never if with a lovely. Your Most Missed Memory I forgotted :( Pepsi or Coke Coke baby. It's so mixable! MacDonalds or Burger King Ick, neither. Single or Group Dates What the fuck are those? I'm good either way IF it were to ever happen. Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea Oolong for me please, or a good Chi. Chocolate or Vanilla Swirl bitch, swirl! Cappuccino or Coffee Dark roast with a few shots of Espresso. I love coffee and it smells funny when I pee. Do you Smoke Yes, open to quitting, no one has made me yet. Do you Swear Only in Chinese. Do you Sing Poorly. Though I'll do a mean Axle Rose... Do you Shower Daily Oh hell no. Showing and bathing will make you sick. I like the 1500's thoughts on that. Have you Been in Love Yes and paid dearly for it. Do you want to go to College Been there done that. Might go back tho.. Do you want to get Married Hah! Do you belive in yourself I rock the casbah. Do you get Motion Sickness Sometimes. Thats why i like the bottom... Do you think you are Attractive Not everyone is for everyone, but I'll always have myself. Are you a Health Freak More of a nut, but yeah... Do you get along with your Parents Yup they rock. Do you like Thunderstorms Love them. Best sex ever is during a thunderstorm. Do you play an Instrument I never gave up on the recorder... In the past month have you Drank Alcohol Month? Try 12 hours. In the past month have you Smoked Yup, those banana peels are just too tasty. In the past month have you been on Drugs Hrm, how many days are in a month? Nope! In the past month have you gone on a Date Haha, thats all a matter of perspective isn't it? Turns out not so much. In the past month have you gone to a Mall I take the ladies (Mom, sister, niece) in my life shopping all the time. In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos Fuck no. That shit will go straigt to your cankles. In the past month have you eaten Sushi Sadly no :( Trip to Sakura soon though! In the past month have you been on Stage Yup and promptly tossed off. "No touching" *shrug* In the past month have you been Dumped Sadly no, i've always wanted someone to take a dump on my chest... In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping Ooh, not in this shrinkage weather... In the past month have you Stolen Anything Just hearts. *silence* Ok no, but I've left a poor tip! Ever been Drunk No? Ever been called a Tease Yeah, aren't all guys like that? I mean we never want to have sex... Ever been Beaten up Stephen at 120lbs in hischool? Sure. Stpehen at 180 with traing in martial arts? All the time, what a rip :( Ever Shoplifted I pay fo my shit! How do you want to Die Saving the life of a loved one. Not by a manta ray, i'll tell ya that much! What do you want to be when you Grow Up Retired. What country would you most like to Visit Italy or France. Art is cool. Number of Drugs I have taken I've sampled many things. Number of CDs I own How old is this? Seven or so. Just cant get rid of my NKOTB. Number of Piercings Zero, lame i know. Number of Tattoos Zero, fuck im boring! Number of things in my Past I Regret Nothing. All building blocks in what I am baby! In a Boy/Girl... Favorite Eye Color Open is always good. Blue or Green is sexy. Favorite Hair Color I know I'll get flack for this but Blond. I like shiny things! Short or Long Hair Long! Gotta be able to wrap it around your hand... Height 5'7" and shorter is good. I like to feel tall and manly. Thats why I wear heels. Weight Gotta be able to lift you above my head :) So about 150 or under.. Best Clothing Style Off Best MySpace Quizzes and Surveys
Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence
You shine in your ability to realate to and understand others.
Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.
You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.
A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.
You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person. What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

My Interests

I have a wide range of interests and perhaps mild ADD since I switch so often.

Some of the mainstays are: Martial Arts (Aikido), Movies, Japanese Culture, Painting, Outdoor Activities, SCUBA, Video Games (I'm a dork)

I'd like to meet:

I want to meet mean people that suck. I think that would be sweet as creme brule dripping off a chocolate jesus. Ok, fine. I would like to meet someone that can make me laugh and keep me entertained. The kind of deep, hard entertainment found in the depths of Pandora's pants.

Ok, fine again. I am excited to meet individuals (or groups of said individuals) that enjoy the nightlife, have similar interests as my own or can someway add to the quality of my life and I can do the same. Twice.

Music:

Big fan of Indy stuff right now. I really enjoy house and trance in a club setting or racing down the road with the top down. Some of my favorites right now are: Kiser Chiefs, Bloc Party, Gorillaz, Atmosphere, Brother Ali, Mickey Avalon, Placebo (thanks Laura!), KMFDM, Jimmy Buffet, Rage, Peeping Tom, Snow Patrol, Damien Rice, Joshua Radin, P.O.S. Pepper, The Stills, 30 Seconds to Mars, The Decemberists.

Currently I'm listening to a lot of Jazz, Acid-Jazz, House and Classical. I love the look on peoples faces when i roll up with the top down cranking Brahms.


I'm pretty open though and I think one of the best things about meeting new people is being exposed to the music they like. There is always a time and a place for GNR. That place is right here and the time is now!

Movies:

I love movies. Action, Drama, Sci-Fi, Horror, Comedy. One of my favorite winter activities is to curl up on the couch with a lovely lady and a stack of movies.Some of my favorites are: Old School, 300, Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back, Serenity, The Princess Bride, The Longest Yard, CaddyShack, Baseket Ball, Team America, Eurotrip, Slapshot, Goonies, 40 year old virgin, Ninja Scroll, Versus, Sonatine, How to do underwater basket weaving and not get caught, and How not to get caught watching How to do underwater basket weaving and not get caught.....

Television:

Not a big TV fan. I do watch Anime, SCI-FI, History/Discovery channel. Things would be better I think if I had a TIVO. Here are the ones I enjoy.Family Guy, Aquateen, Sealab, Smallville, Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles, Dexter, Old school 90210, Football, Hockey (Go Wild!), Naruto, anything with popular dork reference. Just got a TIVO so soon i'll never leave my couch. Soft core porn all the way baby. Nothing like a little "side boob".

how jedi are you? :: by lawrie malen

Books:

I like fantasy, sci-fi and non-fiction, Eragon was a great series. Gave up on: "The Glass Bead Game" by Herman Hesse. That guy is freakin heavy. I think his contemporaries even thought so. Currently reading: The Craft of the Japanese Sword

Heroes:


Morihei Useshiba, founder of Aikido
Green Lantern
Steven Hawking, because physics is cool
Anyone that brings joy to my life
You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't belive in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.
Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile
What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]
brought to you by QuizillaYour results:
You are Green Lantern Green Lantern 95% Supergirl 63% Robin 60% Iron Man 60% Hulk 60% The Flash 55% Wonder Woman 53% Superman 50% Spider-Man 45% Catwoman 45% Batman 35% Hot-headed. You have strong
will power and a good imagination.
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz 40 Things Rarely Asked 1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? I have indeed! They spent many glorious hours looking for little baggies. I think I fell in love that day... 2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? Nope, if I going to get a fish in the face, i want to see it coming! 3. When's the last time you've been sledding? Sledding??!? I'm almost 30! Common... Two years ago. :p 4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? When I sleep alone there are always at least 5 other "people" in bed with me. You are never lonely when you are crazy! 5. Do you believe in ghosts? If by ghosts you mean really pale Irish people in summer, then yes. 6. Do you consider yourself creative? Not really, i pretty much steal everyone else's ideas and make them my own. I'm like Carlos Mencia with that action :D 7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? I don't think there was any evidence to support that...*cough* 8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Well to be fair I would have to try them both out so that I could make an informed decision...at the same time. 9. Do you stay friends with your ex's? How else are you going to fuck with them when they are happy? 10. Do you know how to play poker? Yes, I'm so good I just hand everyone my money/clothes right away to save time. 11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? I've been awake for 84. Pretty sure it caused me to see the future. I also pooped myself. 12. What's your favorite commercial? Anything with Puppies, Kittens and Boobies. All three and I'll buy whatever you are selling. 13. What are you allergic to? Drama. Oh right and bee's. They'll kill me given the chance. Fuck them and their delicious deadly honey! 14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? Depends how many zombies are chasing me. Also if they are fast zombies or slow zombies. 15. Have you ever had a Choco Taco? I've never been with a black woman. Hah! 16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? How about you shut up about baseketball and talk about a real sport. 17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? Umm, I live in minnesota and love hockey, what do you think? Of course I havnt! I do blade Calhoun like a mofo though. A mofo on fire! 18. How often do you remember your dreams? Not often. It's probably a defense mechanism as I'm already fucked in the brain meat enough... 19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? Any time I look at myself nekkid. heh. 20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? "I'm a goofy bug-thing" "I roll poo in a ball" "Gonna pee on you" ..ok im done... 21. What's the one thing on your mind now? I'm trying to determine if "myself" in a parallel/alternate reality is also regretting eating that piece of gum he found on the bathroom floor. 22. Do you believe in love at first sight? I'm a douchie romantic. So yeah. Have i paid for it? With interest. 23. Do you put salt on a turkey dinner? No, usually lots of chocolate syrup. That pretty much goes with anything... 24. Do you always wear your seat belt? I have a car that goes 155 Mph. So no. If I crash going that fast I'd probably rather die... 25. What cell service do you use? That creepy one with all the people that watch you sleep and go to the bathroom.. 26. Do you like sushi? If you are talking about the Japanese slang for Oral Sex on a woman, then yes. If you are talking about the artistically arranged raw fish, then also yes. 27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? Several times. I'm actually pretty lucky to be alive. I'm just glad a smurf's shotgun is only 2" long... 28. What do you wear to bed? Hopefully a lovely blond :) 29. Been caught stealing? Once, when I was 5. 30. Do you pee in the pool? I find it even more fun now that the water turns cool colors. Its like a rainbow in my pants! 31. Do you truly hate anyone? Yes. Pauly Shore is an evil sonofabitch that stole my life. Fuck you, Buuuuddiiie! 32. Bluegrass or Rap? I smoke the bluegrass 33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? Bea Arthur. I figure I get a Woman(?), a Man, and a Flopnar out of the deal. Awesome. 34. Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole? Have you seen my Ass? Skim baby! 35. What food do you find disgusting? SPAM and mock crab. That shit was a liquid at one time you know... 36. Windows or Macintosh? Only people that dont know how to use computers use a mac. They are cool though. Sleek, sexy, built in webcam. *whispers* I want one... 37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" Yeah but they are always disappointed when they finally see my tits. I have fabulous nipples though. 38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? No, I prefer to insult them to their faces, in a large crowd. 39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? Yup, almost tore a guys head off when I saw him push a girl. She kicked him when he was on the ground too. Awesome. 40. Have you ever sung infront of the mirror? If by "mirror" you mean "anyplace inappropriate" then yeah. Top Ten List - Best Myspace Surveys

My Blog

Ninja Pub Crawl 08!

Ninja Pub Assault 2008!Hello ninjas,The annual pub crawl of sneaky shinobi and naughty ninjas is fast approaching! Get those costumes together and rally up for a night of drinking fun in the Nordeast!...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Thu, 29 May 2008 07:17:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"It's time to start living the life you've imagined" - Henry James   How many times have you said "I'll do that someday"?  I've said that a lot, I attribute some of that to my self proclaim...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Wed, 21 May 2008 06:46:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"Spring is when life's alive in everything." --    Christina Rossetti (1830 - 1894)   Spring is finally here.  The change here in Minneapolis was visual and dramatic.  T...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Mon, 19 May 2008 08:03:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt   So many of us strive for so much more.  While I don't think that is inherently bad, I do think that it can ske...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Wed, 14 May 2008 06:34:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end." - Scott Adams...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Mon, 12 May 2008 06:01:00 PST

Quote of the Day, Fishey Addition

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot." -- Steven Wright  I never got into the "sport" of fishing.  I've Never understood the drive to pull a perf...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Fri, 09 May 2008 06:44:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --     Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) It can be difficult for some people to grasp the co...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Wed, 07 May 2008 06:23:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie."--    William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616) Bill hit a good point here.  In the play All's Well That Ends Well, Parolles makes a stand against...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Tue, 06 May 2008 05:53:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that some people are ready to change and others are not."--    James Gordon, M.D. Change is one of the most devastati...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Thu, 01 May 2008 06:35:00 PST

Quote of the Day

"A moment's insight is sometimes worth a lifetime's experience."--    Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. (1841 - 1935)  The amount of time one can spend trying to "figure it out" can be ...
Posted by Dr. McDorky on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 06:42:00 PST