Gina James

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My name is Gina James. My parents told me that I started singing country music when the first sounds came out of my mouth. That could be very factual as it has been in my blood as long back as any memory can take me.
My roots are from the poor south, struggling to make ends meet and taking steps in life to stay focused on "the Good Book" while having a hunger to reach for my dreams of one day making it to Nashville and becoming a country star.
My first performances, not yet in school, had me dressed in a pink velvet and fur majorette outfit my Mother made for me because I wanted to look like the older pretty girls in 8th grade. Just before the Porter Wagoner Show would come on TV, my Daddy would clear off the coffee table for my stage and start announcing count down time. Then the performace would take place on the table with me singing along with the stars. My Dad even filmed me at the tender age of 6, with hair brush at my mouth like a mic singing and saying ... "One day, I'm going to marry Porter Wagoner!"
My dedication to music paid off when I became a country singing star singing with Indie Labels on songs that made it to the top 40. They were "Sunday go to Cheatin Clothes", "In the Georgia Rain" and a country western version of "Just Like Jessie James" (RCA Label. You can hear my current voice on an old back track of the "In the Georgia Rain". It was recorded with a banjo back then, I am in the process of updating and editing the song I wrote for my son.
Porter came into "The Palace" in Nashville where I was singing. He asked to speak with me after my performance. I was in awe. From the first moment we met, my life was completely changed. Porter was an absolutely incredible man who became my best friend, mentor, manager, producer and deepest most unforgetable love.
Life was progressing in a dream land and could not seem more promising. I had met an incredible man that loved me, my songs were climbing on the charts, I had performed with other major country artists at the Grand Ole Opry as a Wagoneer and continued progressing with performances for/with major artists. Then suddenly it all crashed.
I was diagnosed with MS. The RCA label dropped me in 24 hours.
I saw a future of pain and a major disability which would most likely leave me deformed and nothing resembling the woman that Porter fell in love with when we first met. We had been having a lot of negative energy from fans and others because of our age difference. Together, I had two major reasons (in my mind) to walk away. He did not need to see me go downhill. It was the most painful decision I ever made.
Even though I attempted a "normal" life out of the limelight, Porter never left me. He continued to be my friend and mentor to the end of his life. We lived separate lives, and though I attempted other relationships, he was always the one in my mind. His devotion was pure and honorable and I was deeply blessed having shared a deep undying love with him no matter how the age difference made it "forbidden".
I have been blessed knowing many incredible individuals in both celebrity and private lifestyle. I have a Neurologist that worked to help me arrest the damage of MS and find a path to living without its control. The new drug developed through years of research has given me new hope to be able to reach for my dream once again. I felt blessed with new chances and incredible men influencing my choices.
Two of the most remarkable were my Daddy and Porter Wagoner. They both loved and respected each other as well. Daddy died in my arms Christmas 2005. Porter was there for me through the following months and the additional death of my beloved MeMaw. Then, in 2007, Porter sucumbed to the same Cancer that took my Father.
It seemed my life was over.
I wanted to give up. My friend Kat suggested I focus on writing a memoir in honor of those I lost to help me through the stages of mourning. I needed something, so I decided to reach for new steps in life. Kat introduced me to Jurene, who became a close friend, confidente, and eventually my writer.
Some days have been difficult, while others were deeply blessed as we walk through the memories and the things that made the relationships so valuable. There has been a lot of crying, growing, healing crying, and more growing.
I feel deeply blessed having found friends dedicated to helping me walk through this with compassion and love. We have learned to grow with each other as we work my past up to the present and build hope for the future.
I had not realized how deeply my life had disappeared to my own efforts because of the disability and running from love. A home fire destroyed many links to my past. Not one but two. My Father had lost his home in a fire 5 years before I lost so much in my own home fire.
We were faced with the task of finding old photos, copies of my songs, anything to connect me with my life. It has been difficult but not impossible. As friends and fans discovered my search, old photos and memories are being brought forward in an incredible effort of sentiment and love.
More recently, there has been a peacefulness and strength emerging through the tears for my purpose has slowly re-emerged as I reclaim my life. It has been a healing journey. It is my deepest desire that through reading my story, you may find strength to face trials, recognition of friends that are there for you in your struggles and good times and know that regardless how the story reads out, true deep love is worth reaching for even if it is just a few stolen moments of time.
One may never know where how the day will pass. I am thankful for God's presence and the love he has shared with me in each step. My Daddy was a man of great devotion to his faith and he passed it on to me. The most important thing he shared was the depth of love that we can share with each other. That love can help us all reach beyond the impossible.