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I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I am a freak of a cat from Tulum, Mexico. I was living in the bushes licking rocks until this sucker of a girl named Eden started feeding me. I was 5 months old and only weighed about 3 lbs due to all the rock licking...Then Eden and a bunch of scary men, including a REALLY scary huge one named John, lured me into a cage. I fucking FLIPPED out then! All these big, scary humans touching me and shouting....when the one named John touched me, my bowels let go and I sprayed doody all over this nice restaurant. Well, I have to admit that part was kinda fun...Anyway, Eden shoved me into a duffel bag, tranquilized me, snuck me on an airplane, and brought me to the USA where I live quite happily. I am over 4 years old now but that dude John still scares the shit out of me! Literally! I am obsessed with the girl Eden and I only really let her touch me. I follow her around all day, meowing like a freak, and only let her pick me up. John buys me all my food and pays for my vet bills but I don't give a fuck, I still hate him. If he so much as looks at me I run and hide in the closet. If only I had Eden to myself! I sleep on her chest sometimes and just stare at her with a psychotic look on my face until she wakes up. I run around the apartment like a lunatic-even at 4:00 a.m.-knocking everything off tables, beating up my best friend Harley Cat, terrorizing Junior Dog, and most importantly-Fucking With John's Stuff! Oh yeah-I'm fat now too!

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

No one, please. Just Eden.

My Blog

You Can’t Handle THE TOOTH!!!

Man, oh man...I think THE ENEMY, otherwise known as JOHN has REALLY had it with me this time!!!!THE GIRL is very upset and seemed kind of on the verge of a nervous breakdown..tee hee!!!She left the do...
Posted by on Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:56:00 GMT

FIESTA TIME!

This is the BEST! The Girl is contaminated with some human virus, probably one of their plagues or whatnot..but anyway she is home all day! MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!! I laid on her head all freakin...
Posted by on Fri, 09 Nov 2007 21:51:00 GMT

All is right with the world!

The girl has come back to me, smelling of frommage and pamplemousse...my days of hiding in the closet are over! Now, i'm so happy that I've been meowing all night starting at 3 in the morning...the en...
Posted by on Sat, 11 Aug 2007 07:54:00 GMT

IMPENDING DOOM!!!

I am very upset...the girl has been chatting on the phone and e-mailing people..i've heard her mention the word "leaving"..."out of town"...and "i'm fucking out of here." This does not look good...the...
Posted by on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 21:21:00 GMT

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Today was so GREAT! At like 5 in the morning I decided to jump up onto the counter and lick this bag of cereal Eden left out for like half an hour! Then I jumped down and landed on Eden's neck scratch...
Posted by on Tue, 22 May 2007 17:25:00 GMT

I SMELL LIKE POOP!

i stink like crap..i guess it's cause after I make doodoo I like to lay around in the litterbox for a few hours to relax...sometimes THE ENEMY comes home and finds me in there..he gets REALLY mad for ...
Posted by on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 23:28:00 GMT

I am SO homeless...

I think I have gingivitis or something worse-my gums are all swelled up and bleeding...if I need some kind of gum surgery or teeth pulled that John is going to go MENTAL!!!!! It could be my retarded ...
Posted by on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 22:12:00 GMT