I'm John J. Rambo. I don't have a home. I drift around the world and somehow only go to jail for a year after killing a whole town. Its because I'm such a bad ass. I'm a Green Beret and I won the medal of honor after Nam. I then went looking for the last remaining person in my squad. When I got to his house, or should I say shack, he was dead from cancer. He and I quote, "brought it back from Nam." So I wander into this town full of soldier hating faggots. The sherrif tried to make me leave the town but I refused. Him, being that fat cunt that hw is, arrested me. When I got to the jail they showered me and were trying to shave me when the razor reminded me of all the Gooks that cut my chest open. So I kicked all of the cops asses and got onto a bike and hid in the woods where I single handidly took on the whole police force and national gaurd. Eventually the colonel convinced me to give up after we had a long talk about how one of my friends got his legs blown off by a shoeshine boy. After that I got arrested and wasdoing hard labor in a quarry hole when the colonel got me out for one last tour in nam. Little did I know that I was being set up to fail. The mission was to find missing pow's in nam and when I did they hung me out to dry. Murdoc,who was in control of the mission, wouldn't get me at the extraction point. Damn mercenaries. While on the mission I fell in love with a gook. Once the gooks found me they made me wear a thong in a pool of leeches. A couple of ruskies showed up and starting torturing to extract info.I wouldn't talk to those commie pieces of shit. They made me call murdoc. "Murdoc, I'm coming for you". Time to kick some ass.With the help of the gook bitch I escaped. While on the run the gook bitch got shot to shit. I ripped her clothes off and made a headband. There were ruskies everywhere.I Killed em all and my hair still looked good. Then I shot the main gook in the dick with an explosive arrow tip. Got the pows,killed some ruskies and shot up Murdoc's office all in a hard days work. After that I ended up moving to Thailand where I became a proffesional stick fighter. The colonel and some CIA faggots cam and asked for my help. I was like...My war is over. But the colonel went in anyways. Being the stupid guy he is sometimes he got himself captured by some Ruskies(Rusiians) so I had to go in and rescue him. I ended up helping what are now the Taliban take control of Afghanistan. If only I would of known they were all going to become terrorist sons of bitches....If only.... Well anyways. It ended up being me and the colonel stuck in some treches and the colonel asked me," What now, John?" I said,"Fuck em" and started shooting grenades everywhere. Somewhere in the fray the terrorists came and helped me and the colonel out. I got in a tan and headed straight for a Russian helicopter. I fucking owned it. My shaft went straight into the front of the helicopter and that was the end.
