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5.16.09
TIME
When I used to think about it I thought that I would be in a very different place right now. I thought that life would have changed drastically. Well it didn't. It hasn't gotten much worse but as far as the better, it has, but I am not yet satisfied so I have to pray and work harder.
Its already May. Damn! I aint added an entry in mad long. What's been going on? Life, music, life and music. My daughter and I have been OK. We could be much better. We have made progress however so I am happy about that. I think it will get better. I know it will.
Not being mobile is killin me yall. I see the opportunities that I am missing out on because of my lack of a vehicle. Its really hard to cope with it sometimes. Its been harder lately. I don't know why but iiwii and I have to deal with it and keep moving forward.
Love...WTF MAN!
The new demo is currently being composed. The other two are being sent out to powerful people. Pray for me yall. It would be nice to be heard. As I feel I have a lot to say. I also got a mic from one of my good friends, Dan Stephen. Its made a very large difference and you can hear it on one of my tracks on my Myzter Taj page (2nd friend on top). I am getting better and better and the next demo, that will hopefully be released by summer, is going to be quite nice. Just u wait and see ;-)
I have a pretty big test to take for my job on June 15th. Its a Insurance course to increase my credibility at my job. I want to grow with State Farm so I am going to take it seriously. Even tho I should most likely be studying right now (yuck). Wish me luck and once this is passed its summer party time LOL.
I AM WHO I AM AND I PLAN ON STAYING THAT WAY
GOOD DAY
12.05.08
OMEGA
So the end is near. It seems to have went both fast and slow and eventful is quite the understatement. I dont know how I felt about this year. There have been a lot of ups, well not really but there have been a lot of downs. Now I am at the point in which I am waiting. Not waiting for the world to fall in my lap but waiting for something that both me and Mom's believed in strongly (Pops will try to take credit for this as well however I will be sure to correct this falsehood). Things could change quite drastically next year and boy do I need it to. I never thought in a years time I would be attempting to stand back on my feet. With the help of family I am accomplishing this feat and it feels gr8. At first it was demeaning to be pushed along at the age of 26 but I cannot view it as such. I have to look at it as God making me take a turn but not killing me. Not breaking my back. Making sure that I would not give up. I have to be honest and let u know that I never came close to that point. It wasn't enough to make me crack. I thought it would be and I thought the loss of everything MATERIAL that I have would prove to be too much. I am glad it wasn't.
So the year is coming to a close and I have lost friends, gained enemies, made new friends and learned a new level of love. There is still something missing. I do want a companion. Not just anyone and I dont plan on settling. I am praying that 2009 brings me that special someone that upon first sight God lets me know that, "This is for you". I mean I dig the single thing but because of my awareness of karma I dont abuse my powers. Its hard not to but I can't. I have two little girls and I would not want a man doing that type of thing to them. Its just not right. So I stay in my solitude and keep pushing. Being alone is not what bothers me. Its that I feel I have a lot to bring to a relationship but not just anyone. I have learned that the baddest of the bad is not always what u want. I have learned that the smartest of the smart is not always what you want either. I guess you can say that for he last year I have ben stuck. I have held my feet in the ground firm but yes I am stuck. I dont want just anything. I mean if I did I could just go out there and get something I wanted. I will not settle and that shyt is hard sometime when you just want a piece ya know. I used to just swindle my way between the thighs and get off and then PEACE! Not me anymore.
On another note, I had my two bottom wisdom teeth pulled a couple days ago. How did it feel? Shyt I cant even remember because a nigga was KO'd. It was not as bad as I thought it would be. I thought I was gonna be all lumped up and leaking everywhere. Blood all in the bed in shyt. Thankfully no, I was spittin blood like a muthafucka the first day but after that my challenge has been with these damn steroids they got me taking. They make me wanna fight. I mean seriously knuckle up. I have to control it and both my mom and baby mom say that I be wildin. I believe it tho. I read all that precaution shyt and I was like O NO I am gonna be letting people have it. I be tryin to stay cool tho. It aint easy. Its crazy there is a lot of em to take but it weans u off the joints slowly but surely. LOL. They know your gonna start getting addicted. LMAO. I love America...SMH. After this weekend hopefully things will coo out. Shout to everyone who gives a fuck about the kid. For those who dont, well, I am sorry for disappointing you that I made it out the coma LOL. FUCK YOU!
Holidays are coming and I want everyone to have a positive one. Chill with fam and remember that the greatest gift is knowing that love ones are okie. Thats all I really care about this year. Cant nobody afford the types of things I want for X-Mas so instead just go buy yourself something nice. Dont worry bout the kid. My gift is coming in under 20 wks. O yes! A shock is a coming LMAO.
Still @ State Farm beasting the game so the job is quite secure. I would say what I got on my performance review but the h8trs would rise out their holes LOL. Let's just say I been their since June and yes...I have made my mark already.
Shout to Mom, DiAndra, Ava, Sam, Q, Wood, Darnell and YaYa. Peace and Blessings!
Merry X Mas & Happy New Year All jus in case I dont check back in.
O and more music is coming...but you already kno by now LOL.
~Maat 08.21.08
FROSTED FUCKIN' FAKEZ
I been dealin wit the bullshyt yall. Niggaz is showin tru colors. I mean I can't even believe the shyt. Its is not needed what so ever. I aint gonna put nobody on blast yet you know the actionz that you showed were in no way correct. Nuff said...
Well the B-Day was coo yall. I was up @ Americas chillin wit positive vibes just like I wanted to. Big up to all of those that attended. It was just what I wanted it to be and I was pleased. SAM WE DID THE DAMN THING LOL! My peoples that have the same b-day as me chilled all night and boy o boy did we make a night of it. Niggaz was passed out on steps. Sleep in cars. Drunk as skunks. I think I may have smelled illegal substance in the air. o nevermind it was nothing. We had fun yall. My peoples told me she aint party like we did it in over 5 yrs. Although my memory is terrible for things like that, I can say that she was so right. Mad people said I was hammered...yet...able to function. Too funny because after I left the bar and made it back to the crib with all the blurry faces...um...I can't remember much LMAO. Good times is all I can say.
O yea and my friend that came in town. What can I say about that experience. He came...he left.
Well thanks to everyone that got me hyped for the B-Day I really appreciate it and it will mos def be one to remember forever. Thats a long ass time LOL.
Been bonding well with my youngest daughter. I mean kinda well. Well I mean its moving along smoothly...yea...kinda. I mean I been thru it once before so God has prep'd me n a way. Nothing to brag about however because the pain is real...yet...tolerable. I will follow the path God has laid out. I have always walked alone so its not that big a deal son...STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.
Shout to Mom, DK, Ava, Gia, Q, Wood & Carmello LMAO
~Maat
07.30.08 OMG its the last day of July. 2morrow will be the MONTH! That very month that puts me on a pedestal for a minute. Thats right ladies and gentlemen it is the month of Augusto. I LOVE IT. I am going thru things still. Two words for ya CHILD SUPPORT! LOL! It is kickin a nigga ass right now (O AND I KNOW THATZ HOW U WANT IT TO FEEL REE). Not a shamed bone in my body. Not an inconvenience at all to be honest. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I had to cancel my Vegas quest and I had to cancel the house party. Makes me want to throw up on my shoes but hey...iiwii. I knew there was a reason all this black ink was on my neck lol. Seriously tho I am going to try to enjoy this OUTRAGEOUSLY SICK BIRTHDAY. I am back at it on my music shyt folks. Please go and check out
THE 2ND FRIEND ON MY PAGE
I think the guy is pretty hot myself but u take ur pen and draw ur own conclusion lol. Fuck that, no more writing...LETZ GET TO AUGUST ;)
07.13.08 Ohhhhhhh Shyyyyt! The kid is back on his bachelor shyt. Listen....listen...u hear that...FUCKIN SILENCE! I love it! I was in a bit of a silly situation the past 7 months or so. Happy Birthday is all I got to say to you for today...MOVING ON! I feel alive again yall. Even without everything I have ever owned. Keep that shyt Jersey! U need it more than I do. My heart beats and my pride moves me forward. Building a new relationship with...........MY DAUGHTER lol. I am diggin this single thing especially standin on my own two feet. Ms. Ava it has been nice lately. Never knew u were coo peoples like that. Other than that its just me n my momma. Seem like she the only one I can trust. I have problems with the ways of my father...wish we were closer but hey iiwii. I am back in the neighborhood. Aurora Muthafucka! NOT A-TOWN FOOLZ, THIS IS NOT ATLANTA. These 303 junkies kill me. On top of that I am a GOOD NEIGHBOR. Things are changing swiftly and I know its too a lot of peoples surprise. Not going to Vegas for the B-Day unfortunately I mean I had to prioritize and figure out what things were important to me. I am working on that part of my life which is empty...yet its for a reason so fuck it for now....I'll jus play it like a Son/Daddy/Bachelor.....PEACE
Well lemme update this damn thing lol. Back in the CO for good it seems and life been up and down for real. More down than up tho. My daughter has moved back to town and I hardly see her. Its weird but iiwii. My life is so screwy rite now I can't even dedicate myself the rite way. Boy o boy. Well single again and its a good thing thru the fog. I was born as an only child so solitude is something I see I have needed for quite sometime. Lonely sometimes yes and I would like to have sex more yet that's neither here nor there lmao. Other than that jus tryin to start working. I got bills...child support y mas y mas. However, nxt yr....boy nxt year could really change things. My anticipation entices my brain waves somethin serious. I will wait patiently. Well that's all for now. Life lies n limbo for rite now. Nxt chapter...comin soon.Man o man I feel like I'm 100 yrs old LMAO. My life has taken so many turns in the last 26 years. Now I am back where I started. Bittersweet I guess. I have 2 daughters. Giavanni Michelle Gibson-Khan & Ava Kirkland. Its really none of your business but I will say that I have not been the best father I can be. I mean we all make mistakes but I refuse the excuse thing. I am hoping sometime down the road the creases can be ironed out. God will make a way.
I MISS U GIAVANNI AND HAPPY I MET YOU AVA. YOU ARE NOT MY BURDEN BUT MY GYFT. YET I LEARN TOO LATE.
Well shyt lets get this shyt poppin! My name is Maat Khan. Shocked some of yall lol. Its all good with a name like that you might understand the alias. Its gonna be a good year I can feel it ladies n gentlemen. I was born on the 8th day of the 8th month in the 81st year of the 20th century. Therfore the birthday will be:
08:08:08
Tryin to do it big but there is a lot on the plate so tryin to sort somethings out.
"ECLIPSE: A Crossing Of Paths That Needs To Be Recognized In Order To Be Fully Understood"
As far as the music is concerned the kid is still beltin out lyrix like my brain is constantly overloading. The game is hard homie lol. I have been blessed and I will leave it at that an I will be producing work whenever the 24 hours permits. If you have tyme check out the YOUTUBE page below:
www.youtube.com/dynasty9027
Thanks for checkin out the page . I appreciate the love.
AIM= sexplicitthug YAHOO: myztertaj EMAIL: [email protected]
