anyway let me tell you whats been going on in my life lately...been working and paying bills i've been hanging out with people I "CALLED" my friends...well it turns out i kept it to real...I still have dreams and goals and Drive and Ambition but i love partying and having fun...When i grew up i had true friends...people i called my homies and we where allways down for each other...some people just got life totaly fucked up and there only out for momentary gain... I bet anyone who has met me can't say anything bad about me, cuase me being flawed is something i don't belive in...I keep it to real... I've been lucky enough to have met some true people in life...but most of them have moved on... to whatever it was that they are pursuing...To all my true Lovers, Homies and Friends... I allways got yeah back...Stay up.
~Brian Howell
MY Poem
What if I hurt you could I mend your broken heart?
What if I where to stop breathing?
Would you be there to help me start?
And what if I closed my eyes and when they open still see dark?
Why when i take drugs I still feel the pain?
when I open my umbrella why do i still feel the rain?
Why am I only satisfied when I feel heroin coursing through my veins?
What if I got lost and never found?
Should I come up for air or let my self drown?
Why is it when I scream I hear no sounds?
I want to have you here but you no longer come around.
Why when I try and kill myself i only come close to death?
Why does god keep me waiting to breathe my last breath.
I need to get away and run but my feet won't take the steps.
I need to tell you how I feel but can't find the words to speak it
why are the answers so clear but I can't seem to see it.
why did i push your love away when i really did need it?
Why am I alive when all I need is to die?
I could have made you Happy
But Instead I made you Cry.
~Brian Howell