My best friend, Phyllis Diller, says of me:Meagan Lynn codename “Megs†is a highly trained individual who specializes in eating only red Sour Patch Kids. Adding an “a†to her name to help keep her identity a secret, Agent Megs was trained via an 80s style-montage featuring the song “Nowhere Fast,†which made its debut in Streets of Fire, a film where Wilhelm Dafoe wears black plastic overalls. Often seen wearing eclectic socks, Megs has the power of near-telepathy by focusing you with a powerful glare, creating strong feelings of guilt and/or wrongdoing. Her one weakness is the mere smell of popcorn, which is vomit-inducing. She sometimes forgets her own strength, often punching her friends in the stomach over the excitement of having popcorn chicken for lunch. Drawing inspiration from legends Ellen Aim and Wesley Snipes, even when she goes nowhere, she goes nowhere fast. Meagan Lynn is extremely dangerous when armed with an empty pack of cigarettes. She is extremely versatile, being able to adopt English, Italian, and Boston accents instantly, giving her the ability to blend in anywhere. When in public, Megs often hides under the guise of a “frowny†face, making her true pleasant interior harder to detect. If you see her on the street, shake her hand and thank her for the job she’s doing. And not glaring at you.
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