The Simpsons Movie - Spider Pig
Add to My Profile | More Videos....
The Life of Paden (also known as The Tome of Knowledge)
GENESIS
In the beginning, there was man and there was woman. They saw it good to procreate, so they did. Then there was Paden. When Paden was born he clasped up a sword and cut his mothers head from her shoulders, for she was wicked. Her decapitated head burst into serpents and then licks of fire. Then (insert your gods name here) saw it would be good from him to be clathed. Deciding so, Paden was magically covered in a divine cloak. It was constructed of living scarabs to symbolize the life that would later be known to flow from Paden. When Paden was a small child he made a trip to the land of Canaan where he smote many a whore. (not an actual whore, but people in general referred to as whores to degrade and belittle them) After such adventures he packed up all of his loot and booty and took it to Egypt where he became a very successful pimp. After he had many women he used them to wage a holy war on the Pharaoh. He took the land of Egypt, after it was made his and shat upon it because he thought it funny. After shatting on Egypt, Paden started to throw razors and needle tools (from ceramics) at Psarah (think silent P) because he thought it funny as well. The one day the demon Psarah flipped and became angry with Paden. Feeling remorse Paden made attempts to make amends, but the demon would have none of this, for she was petty. After this she isolated herself on an island. Paden could not let this go so he set in motion the destruction on the demon. He plotted and thought and finally he came to his idea. He would leave money out in the open because Psarah was a female and females want nothing but money. Then when she climbed out of her dank dark hole he would cut a hole into this vile creatures head. But when he swung his mighty blade, it simply broke on the creatures skull, for she was thick headed. Paden then realized he must ask forgiveness yet again, for his past actions. Psarah bellowed in anger and made a big scene, as was her custom, for she was a female. So Paden stopped trying to make peace and instead picked up a mighty chunk of clay and tossed it at the demon. Psarah didn't like this so she became louder and made a bigger scene, as was her custom, for she was female. Paden threw more clay at the demon until she ran away from her problems, because that was her custom, for she was female. After banishing Psarah, Paden decided to have children to spread his nation. He found his best ho and he laid with her. Soon the whore became pregnant and then gave birth to five children. But when they where born (insert your gods name here, hereafter referred to as "TED") told Paden that his children would be wicked. So he gathered them all from his feeding slaves and took them to the river Hugnrpyrwoaneolulnecyatbzlhe. Once there he tossed them in, then he listened to their tiny shrieks for life but, Paden was not swayed because he was told by TED that the Devil would attempt to make him save his young. After killing the babies, Paden went back to his house and killed this whore because she spoiled Paden's seed. After finding her in a pool he tied her up and shot arrows into her until she was dead and no longer able to be recognized. Then Paden burned her corpse as was the custom, so that her taint would not infect the countryside. One evening TED came to Paden in a dream and said to him, "Paden, to gain favor in my eyes go to the city of Telham and speak with the king." So the next day Paden packed his things and left. While out in the dry plain of Norah Paden saw a little old lady grasping at the dirt for water. When he approached her he took out his canteen and offered it to her. But as he did this she turned into her true self, the demon Psarah. She slapped the canteen from his hand and refused to drink even save herself (we all know demons can die from dehydration) for that was her custom, for she was female. Paden still wishing for forgiveness for his sins, prayed for rain. While he did this, Psarah danced around in an insulting manner, as was her custom, for she was female. Then the clouds opened up and rain fell from the heavens for TED smiled on Paden. Psarah drank from the water that collected on the ground but gave no thanks to Paden for her salvation, for she was petty, as was her custom, for she was female. After drinking her fill she frowned on Paden and disappeared with a flash. So Paden took the reins of his donkey and set out yet again for the kingdom of Telham. When Paden arrived at the gates he was greeted by a tower guard who called to him to answer who he worshipped. "TED!" replied Paden and the doors were opened. Once in the city, Paden was taken before Athmos, the King of Telham. "What do you want?" asked Athmos. The Lord TED has sent me here to speak with you, about what I don't know." replied Paden. "I do" started Athmos. "you are to talk to me about a dream I had, that is what I believe." Athmos told Paden about a dream he had in which seven fat sleek cows where standing by the river, then seven ugly skinny cows came and eat the other seven. "TED has told me what this means. The seven fat cows represent seven years of agricultural prosperity followed by seven years of famine." announced Paden. "Please" plead Athmos "help my land, take control over all Telham and be second only to me." Paden told Athmos he needed to rest before deciding. That night TED came to Paden and told him not to help the nation of Telham because Athmos would betray him. Knowing this Paden rejected to aid Athmos and the nation of Telham. Upon hearing this Athmos grew angry and told his guards to put Paden in prison. Then a mighty bolt of lightning shot threw the roof and struck Athmos. There he fell down to the floor. Then TED spoke to Paden and said "Paden, you have found favor in my eyes, and I will give you land and many children to continue your nation when you have died. Go to Heliopolis and declare that I have spoken to you and that you are to rule over Heliopolis." So Paden set out from Telham but he was chased. He fled into the desert for refuge, but none was to be found. So Paden turned to face Athmoses men. The chariots of Telham were closing the gap across the field when a brilliant light erupted in the sky and twelve legions of angles marched forth from the sky and cut the Telhamiets down. When all the men who pursued Paden where dead, the angels withdrew to the heavens. So Paden went to Heliopolis and declared that the Lord had told him he was to rule over them. The men folk of Heliopolis just laughed and said "If the Lord really intends you to rule us, prove it.: Paden not being able to prove it went and made camp in the desert where TED came to him. "Paden" the Lord proclaimed "why do you not sleep in the city palace in Heliopolis?" Paden told what had happened and how the men just laughed in disbelief. "What am I to do Lord?" asked Paden. "Go to the town again in the morning and again proclaim that you are to rule them and if they disbelieve you again throw down your staff and it will turn to a sandwich. Offer it to one of the men and when he bites into it, it will become a serpent, and when he throws it down it will again be your staff." So the next day Paden went back to the city and again he told the people he was to be their king., because TED decreed it. They laughed in disbelief, so he threw down his staff. It became the most delectable golden bunned, roasted teriyaki chicken sub. One of the men instantly scooped it up and bit it. Just as TED had said, it turned into a serpent . Having a bit taken out of it and all, the snake was more than miffed. He bite the mans hand and fell to the ground where it turned back into Padens staff. Then they simply said that Paden was nothing but a magician and told him to go learn a new type of trick, because a guy named Moses had done something like that in Egypt and it turned out to be a hoax. Paden decided he had had enough of this and he started cutting through the crowd with his sword. The men tried to fight back but TED was with every swing of Paden's blade. There was nothing they could do, except die. After Paden was done killing he knelt down on one knee and putting his forehead on the hilt of his sword he prayed "Paden" exclaimed TED
"You have proven to me that you trust my judgment and that you fear what I might do if you do not obey me. You will be gifted with unnatural long life and youth. Now go take this city as yours, and turn it into a great kingdom. Of which they will later make a movie starring Orlando Bloom but, they will totally miss the point and actually make it about the crusades, for they (production staff) will be mostly female will call your kingdom, Kingdom of Heaven and I will shine upon you" So Paden did as TED commanded and his kingdom became lavish, for he had again become a very successful pimp since he had killed all the men in the town. Yet again he controlled a mighty army of whores, and in this state he ruled for many years.
So ends the first book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the second book Synthesis
SYNTHESIS
From the loins of a demon, a goat, a man, a hog, a pigeon, stormtrooper, snake or frog (not really sure which one, there was an eight-way goin on) was birthed the demon Psarah. From the moment she existed she complained and whined, and was known for her pettiness. One day her birth parents (whatever they were) became so fed up with Psarah that they banished her to wander forever. She threw a temper tantrum but eventually left. She traveled many a mile when she met Paden. Who threw razors and needle tools at her. She became very upset and would not forgive Paden for his sins, as was her custom, for she was petty, for she was female. She later met Paden again who threw clay at her (both of which are previously stated in this text). She still refused to forgive him, so for the lack of forgiveness he had to banish her to hell, where she threw a fit because she didn't get the full sale price on a pink angora sweater. Psarah came to loathe the Devil (Timmy was his name, see "Devil" is just a title, like President) because she thought he was too bossy and didn't have good fashion sense. One day she became buddy buddy with Satan and joined him in his hot tub. She fed him anchovies and champaign. She then excused herself to go to the bathroom. (what kind of sof' ass demon has to use the bathroom?) Picking up a toaster she chucked it into the hot tub and it fried the red menace. (but the Devil actually choked on an anchovies The Dark Mantel that surrounded Satan was then passed from him that is evil to, she that is evil. In this way Psarah became the new Devil, who would be known for totturing Paden.
So ends the second book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the third book Biogratus
BIOGRATUS
Before the beginning there was "Pre-Beginning" this time goes back forever, this is the time when TED began existence (enough said)
So ends the third of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the fourth book Verum
Side note: TED is supreme, and has always been in existence, there was never a time before TED he has always been, for time is a fabrication of man.
VERUM
After conquering Hell, Psarah decided she could not see Paden happy and prosperous so she took it upon herself to bring Paden down, for his past actions. From the gates of Hell Psarah marched forth her fell army. She called on Paden to do battle, but Paden didn't wish to risk the lives of his bitches so he declined Psarah and tried to talk reasonable with her. But to no avail. She simply mocked Paden for she was childish, as was her custom, for she was female. In the end Paden had no choice but to do battle with Psarah. So he marched his whores out to the field, in the front and center, unlike Psarah who hid in the back, for she was cowardly. Paden knelt and prayed, asking that he might vanquish Psarah. A battle then followed in which all of Paden's Ladies of Pleasure (now located on 54th street and stop 18, open 24-7) died. Paden charged the demon Psarah but was transported to a forest totally unharmed. Then TED came to Paden and said that he could never beat Psarah wish such inadequate weapons. Then TED told Paden to anticipate the arrival of his son. While Paden remained separated from his nation of Heliopolis, Psarah spread her taint and slander to TED Almighty. All the peoples took up arms and rallied under the standard of Psarah's dark army. She then took her army and returned to her dark kingdom. But in all truth and actuality Psarah didn't convert everyone, there were others who resisted her and hid themselves. They searched and found Paden and joined with him. Then one day out of the east same a bearded man clad in a white robe. He said he was the son of TED, Jahezathor. He said that he carried with him information that many spies from the Bothan Spy Net (the people who stole the Death Star Plans for the Rebels in Star Wars) died to bring this information to him. Just then the demon Psarah's biatch, Brian, appeared with a slightly sharp summer sausage. So Jesus...uh...I mean Jahezathor ripped his head off. So Padens people started a mighty construction. In the end they hand constructed the 3rd Death Star (3rd because Star Wars is "a long time ago" but it's in a different galaxy, so actually I guess I don't know how I feel about it. It's either Pre I or III) Paden spoke to TED and asked that TED show Psarahs followers the Verum, or the Truth. TED did so and all of Psarahs followers left her. This angered Psarah so she went to make war with Paden for she was pissed, or PMSing, one of the two, women/females PMS on guys all the time. When she appeared in a filed she let out a great roar. Paden's stone Death Star locked onto this and blew her up. (as everyone knows the only two things that can kill the Devil are anchovies and the Death Star.)
So ends the fourth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the fifth book Restitution
RESTITUTION
Once dead the demon Psarah went before TED Almighty. In his presence she knelt, for TED was blinding. He asked her if she repented for her sins. She said yes and was forgiven. She was the given wings and made an angel among TEDs legions. She was then given a harp where after she became the head of the choir of TEDs angels.
So ends the fifth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the sixth book Shenanigans
SHENANIGANS
After Paden had beaten the angel Psarah, formally known as the Devil, formally known as the demon, Paden decided to relax. So Paden and Jahezathor (referred to as Jesus in such classics as Ben Hur and also featured in The Passion) set out to the market were they played games, drank, and were merry. But a person named Johnny tried to poop on their parade. Johnny constantly harassed Paden and Jahezathor. For 210 days Johnny bothered them, not to mention everyone else. So Paden, being fed up with Johnny backhanded him. (also known as bitch slapped) It was talked about greatly for not only did Paden ho slap (also called pimp slap) Johnny, but Johnny pushed Paden from behind. This angered Paden so he drew up a plan in his head. On the night before the Sabbath day, or "early morning Sabbath" depending on how you look at it since it was 3:00 in the morning. Paden took a shovel and a Kroger paper sack and went to the fields, where he collected 30 pounds of horse shit. He then grabbed a can of spray oil (later known as WD-40) and set out for Johnny's house. Once there he wiped some of the poo on the door and the door handle (he wore gloves) and then set the sack on the door step. Taking out his WD-40, I mean spray oil he made a blowtorch by spraying it into the flame of his lighter. The bag burst into flames and Paden ran across the street, after ringing the door bell. Jumping in a ditch Paden watched as Johnny opened the door and stepped on the flaming bag, only to discover its contents were poop. Having struck a point of vengeance, Paden returned home. So the war did soon engage, woman to woman and man to man. (not literally, Paden and Johnny just started to exchange pranks) The next weekend Paden did the same thing accept the poundage of poo was taken up to 60. Also Paden unleashed a new weapon. The potato gun Paden had acquired through trade, was mighty. So Paden loaded a heaping pile of horse dung into this device. He then fired it straight at Johnnys house, where it exploded everywhere. Johnny decided to strike back to he left his house the same night to burn a pathetic tiny bag on poop on Padens porch. He snuck up to Padens porch and took out his lighter. He started to light the edge of the sack as he heard the click of a shotgun behind him. He turned to see Paden, Shane, A-Tray, CD, Josh, and Gallagher. Paden made Johnny put the shit out with his face then he took the shit covered Johnny to his basement where they gagged him to a chair. There they left him in the dark. He was tormented by what he thought he saw in the dark. Was there a demon? A snake? A gnome? A wookie? No! It was none of these. In fact it was a midget with a flock of seagulls hair cut and only one nostril. He rushed over to Johnny and bit off three(3) of Johnnys digits (as in fingers, not a phone number) Johnny screamed like a little girl. As was his custom, for he was a pussy. A gate of fire opened in the floor and forth from came the Devil (the new one, not Psarah) He then took Johnny to Hell were Hitler shoved a pineapple up his ass at 12:42 sharp, everyday.
So ends the sixth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the seventh book Verum II
VERUM II
After Paden had taught Johnny his lesson he decided to set forth on a new journey, quest, adventure, mission, thingy. One day whilst defecating Paden came a crossed a grand idea. He needed money. (not that he was a broke ass ho, just likes money, I mean, on the real, who doesn't?) So Paden went forth towards the wilderness were TED spoke to him. TED told that he will have great success on his journey if he goes to the nearby forest town of Toadstool and gather all babies up and cook them in a giant pot. Paden did so and TED spoke to him again. "Feed this soup/gumbo made of human babies to the towns folk." Paden tried but the people resisted, so Paden tried to pay them. This also didn't work. So having tried money, Paden turned to violence. He started to behead the women until the men consumed the beefy stew. However once they ate the baby delight they became evil cannibals. TED instructed Paden to kill these vile and fell peoples who had sinned against him. Paden did as he was told and after hours of senseless massacre (much like the movie Natural Born Killers) the deed was done. Paden then incinerated the corpses in a great fire that could be seen from space (not that anyone could see the fire in space, except the Moonenites) TED then blessed Paden and bestowed upon him righteous blade, The Blade of TED. The blade was nearly half Padens height and sharper than a motha trucka. Paden would use it to slaughter many peoples in the future. So Paden again set out on his journey for money, and it was in the orient that he found it. Se, in the orient, live many many people. Hell, they infest the place. (almost like Mexicans) So what Paden did was steal up all their children in the middle of the night and sold them on E-Bay (an Asian baby goes for about $15,000) All in all Paden made a whopping $6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000...(for the sake of not having to write more "0" we'll just say a shit load) One of these babies however he kept. Naming him Prometheus, he raised him as his own (but only because he didn't look at all like a slant eyed bastard)
So ends the seventh book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the eighth book Prometheus
PROMETHEUS
After acquiring his son, Paden asked TED for guidance in raising his son. TED told Paden that one day Prometheus would grow into a great warrior and lead Helioplois after Padens death. He would only become this great warrior, known as Actamus Prime Commander of The Transformers is Paden sent him into the vast desert to be tormented and tried. If he survived, he would become some sort of bad ass like Neo from the Matrix. So telling his 10 year old son goodbye, Paden left him in the desert armed with only a knife as TED had instructed. Feeling sad Paden went to seek out ladies of pleasure to waste his recently acquired loot on.
So ends the eighth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the ninth book Journeys
JOURNEYS
In the bordellos Paden satisfied his primal cravings....basically he screwed like 17. 25 times. During the last time one of the bitches bit Paden on his neck drawing blood. Becoming furious Paden pulled out his sword (actual sword, not his tally wacker, it was already out) and cut her head from her shoulders and stabbed her in the heart. She then died in a very bloody mess (much like Dracula starring Keano Reeves only with much better acting) Paden then left the house of sluts (after killing them all of them of course) and traveled to him home that he had just recently built on the slopes and plains of the Greek islands. There he sat in mourning of his son Prometheus who he may never see again. Then a brilliant idea came to him. So Paden called his scribe and sent a letter to a close friend of his Casey. Casey was excited to heat from Paden and she decided to send a message to her friend Barbie (not the lame ass doll, a much cooler and more kick ass real person) who was at work. Paden climbed into his chariot and rode over to Caseys palace where he was taken as a much older man by Casey's father, who kind of un-nerved Paden. Forth from Caseys house they rode over to the place that Barbie was "working" (working....pffff she was helping her slaves, for Barbie, Casey and Paden were all royalty and need not work because on the real, they got bitches to work for them) There they went to Barbies palace were Paden sat on an amazingly comfortable couch and was again mistaken for being older. Then after Barbie put on clothes that she found more comfortable and to her liking they all set out to the wilderness. There they encountered very strange animals, called lamas, of which one was very odd looking, apparently thinking he was a lion or somethin' cuz he had this really weird main thing goin' on...but that's a different story. They rode out further into the wilderness where they then switched drivers like 7 times. Then a page ran up and delivered a letter announcing that Casey's father was off to war. So they returned to Caseys palace grounds and saw her father off. Then Barbie had to return to home. However Casey and Paden continued on their journeys. They say many things (such ass a '57 Chevy, '64 Cadillac, and a '61 Studebaker) they also saw cows, and rode into a farmers filed which apparently almost excited Casey enough to piss her pants. However, after doing all this they got lost but TED guided them to the correct roads to end the quest, journey, epic, adventure...whatever. After seeing Casey safely home, Paden retuned home himself feeling very satisfied with the days events.
So ends the ninth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the tenth book Resurrection
RESURRECTION
Paden grew old, and his body tired. Even though he still kicked major ass he was obviously aging. He still waited for Prometheus' return and grew sad of his lack of arrival. War fell upon Heliopolis from a bitch ass ho barbarian named Nezbeth. He brought from the North his hordes of stinky, gross, dirty men that burned and pillaged the villages, towns, hamlets, or thwarts of Heliopolis. Paden grew extremely angry and in spite of his age, armed himself and mounted his horse. Riding out in front of his grand white army, Paden met with Nezbeth's hordes. Battle horns sounded and the two armies clashed. Paden fought almost as he had in his youthful days. Scores of men fell to Padens blade. They fell like hos before their pimp. Finally Nezbeth and Paden clashed, fighting fiercely. Paden swung and missed, lodging his sword in the ground. Nezbeth grinned and said that this was for living him in the desert. He then cleaved Padens head clean from his neck and claimed a fell victory. Paden's white army fell under the power of Nezbeth, who was actually Padens own son Prometheus, returned from the desert under the Devils dominion. After the battle had passed priest loyal to Paden claimed his body and head from the field. They took him to one of his hidden pimp pads.(pads as in house, not Paden) There they placed his body. Surprisingly he came back to life. (turns out that hooker who bit him was actually a vampire) still weak from age and the recent beheading Padens priests built a blood hibernation chamber (much like the vampires in Under World, which is a kick ass movie) Here he slept for 3 years.
So ends the tenth book of "The Life of Paden" aka The Tome of Knowledge
To the eleventh book Reclamation
RECLAMATION
During the time of Padens slumber, Nezbeth reigned over Padens empire and ran it to shambles, like the punk ass bitch he is. While sleeping Paden was visited by TED who told him for all of his loyal service he would completely regenerate Paden to his youthful years. TED also explained how Prometheus was not strong enough to resist the Devils temptations, and had fallen to him. The priest then awoke Paden, who after thinking about what his son had done was more than pissed. He again put on his armor and set out to reclaim Heliopolis and kill his son. Paden traveled to the old capital city of Heliopolis were he found his son. There he called out to him and with the strength of TED bitch slapped him so hard it snapped his neck. Paden then cut his son into pieces and scattered him across the world. Order was again restored to Heliopolis and it once again prospered. After the victory celebration TED came to Paden again and told him that he could come with him to the heavens if he wanted, there he would have the pimpest pad, coolest shit, and the hottest bitches. Paden thought about it and said to TED "Fuck that shit, I've got all that here....AND I get to kill bitches." So TED ascended to the heavens and Paden continued to rule Heliopolis for all time.
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Paden
Birthday: May 9th 1988
Birthplace: ummm....a hospital in Indy
Current Location: Indy
Eye Color: brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: 5'9''
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: Irish,German,Scotish, and Italian
The Shoes You Wore Today: my pimp shoes
Your Weakness: a womans smile
Your Fears: death
Your Perfect Pizza: pepperoni.....i know, it's boring and basic
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: find a girl i could spend a large chunk of my life with
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: ....
Thoughts First Waking Up: damn...this sucks
Your Best Physical Feature: my scoundrel smile
Your Bedtime: whenever I feel like sleepin bitch!
Your Most Missed Memory: being a care free little kid
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: BK nigga
Single or Group Dates: doesn't matter
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla: why can't i have both?
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappuccino
Do you Smoke: not cigs
Do you Swear: I fucking swear every goddame mother fucking day, bitch!
Do you Sing: on occasion....depends on the settings
Do you Shower Daily: most defanitly
Have you Been in Love: i thought i was...but no..i wasn't
Do you want to go to College: hell yeah....fuckin Animal House all over again
Do you want to get Married: at a point
Do you belive in yourself: yes
Do you get Motion Sickness: no
Do you think you are Attractive: fuck yeah i do
Are you a Health Freak: nope
Do you get along with your Parents: sometimes
Do you like Thunderstorms: yes
Do you play an Instrument: kinda...the bagpipes...i used to play the tuba!
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: no
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: god no!
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no.....thats a lot of no's
Ever been Drunk: nope
Ever been called a Tease: also no
Ever been Beaten up: you can't beat me...Im the Highlander
Ever Shoplifted: ....used to
How do you want to Die: In a crazy ass car chase in which i go flying over a cliff in the tank im driving(which is why im being chased)
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: movie director
What country would you most like to Visit: Ireland or Scotland
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: blue or green....depends on the hair
Favourite Hair Color: brown w/blue eyes.....green w/ blonde
Short or Long Hair: shorter
Height: 5'5'' or so
Weight: 120-155
Best Clothing Style: east coast punk
Number of Drugs I have taken: prescription-who knows....illegal-1, only once
Number of CDs I own: like....15 maybe
Number of Piercings: none
Number of Tattoos: none now...soon to be 2
Number of things in my Past I Regret: nothing...i live each day as if it were my last..to it's fullest
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:
Sexuality:
Flirting Skill Level - 98%
Kissing Skill Level - 19%
Cudding Skill Level - 57%
Sex Skill Level - 97%
td height='10px'
