-Beer snob, without being a dick about the whole thing.
-Costume party aficionado. Probably a little too into it.
-Not yet a coach for the Fury, but working on it.
-Just because I walk my cat on a leash when it's warm and hit the Jewkah on my porch and live in a shitty Humboldt Park apartment and sometimes have facial hair does NOT make me a hipster. I don't play no fuckin' croquet.
-Clearly not afraid of the semicolon. [Clearly forgot to change this after I took the semicolon out of the point above. Clearly, I'm retarded.]
-Clearly not a web designer, either.
-Pretty quick with a dick joke.
-Pretentious on paper.
-Frequently atrocious dresser, but more from lack of effort than lack of taste. Frankly, fashion is 90% masturbation and 10% self-esteem, and I'm feeling just fine these days.
-NOT A FAN of damn near all of the 80s. Seriously, it's not ironic, and it's not funny. It's bad. It's often hideous.
-I adamantly believe that popcorn NEVER tastes as good as it smells.
-Former Social Coordinator for the Northwestern Chicago region.
-Founder and senior tour guide for Bullshit CityTours, LTD.
-Chicago Enthusiast, and a damn convincing booster.
