Schlorg profile picture

Schlorg

You can call me Betty, and I can kick your ass.

About Me

to sum: charmingly squishy disconsolate eyes backed by a hint of oregano.in depth: I spend a grossly unnecessary amount of time staring at stuff. And occasionally I bemoan the fact that keyboards in Spain have no apostrophes so all my letters ending up sounding like Emily Post on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I am sorry about this, and I do hope you will all forgive the Spanish for being so stupid.

My Interests

becoming a more caring individual, creating crap, urban jack playing, owning a small self sufficient farm in western Idaho, ragamuffin rights, escapism, tag team tagging, Marfa lights, marrying money, consuming people with my eyes, not getting syphilis.

I'd like to meet:

Oh, just about anyone who likes playing games with me will do for now, but I would eventually like to befriend a brokenhearted midget hermit named edgar.

Music:

Topic sentence: I hate the saxaphone. A) not saxaphone players, A1) although some of them, like any group of people are likely to be monkey hitters. A1a)Monkey hitter is another way of saying poop baggy.A2) While others are undoubtable quite pleasant, tea drinking types,A2a) though sadly mistaken in their musical choices. B) I'm sorry if you played it in marching band.B1) Sorry for everyone else, sucka!B1a) Oh calm down, you baby, it was a joke.B2) Seriously though, we all did things in high school of which we're not proud.B2a) But really, it's time to let it go. There are simply some fish that don't make good eats. B2ai) Those glass sucker things B2aii) That singing bass wall mount B3aiii) Rotten onesC)I do not find saxaphone playing 'cool' in any collequial sense. C1) Not even if you are in jazz band and wear very dark sunglasses at all times. C1a) Unless you are a Muppet. This is the only exception. D)Yes, that is true, some very good songs include the saxphone. D1) There are some very pretty people out there with hideous butt-moles. D1a) Just sayin'.Conclusion: I still hate it.

Movies:

The Neverending Story, Harold and Maude, A Shot in the Dark, True Stories, The Muppet Movie, My Dinner with Andre, Princess Bride, Flight of the Navigator, Short Circuit I and II, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Life Aquatic, Team America, Water Babies, The Red Balloon, each and every christmas special including an adorably crippled poppet, cause infirmities are endearing!! I'm bored but there's more. Why do you even care? Go like your own movies, you cadger.

Television:

bbbbbbbbbbbblllllllluuuuuuuuuuuuuggghhhhhhhhhhhhh ......oc.........bitches.....short panty liners.............my ass is already wrinkley... what's your milkshake do?

Books:

all. Does anyone know if they still make choose your own adventure novelettes?

Heroes:

you. Bigg Todd. the u'j.

My Blog

why do blogs suck?

Ex. my favorite food is ketchup, is there a group of like-minded fellows out there who correspond to me on a deep personal level? perhaps this epistle will serve as fulcrum for our collusion. Answ...
Posted by Schlorg on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

there's something i want to crush on my right side...

it's a small smelly boy. He keeps bumping my chair. I just wanted to expose him as the worm-breathing pustule he is, now I can move on.
Posted by Schlorg on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

the day started just like any other, half a grapefruit and five grams of metamucil...

but things took a turn for the worse when I remembered why i wasn't waering any pants. The depravity of the elite ruling class of fourth graders at Grant Elementary knows no bounds. "Have they no sham...
Posted by Schlorg on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST