HAIRWOLF

HAIRWOLF began their rock and roll mission in late 2007 to warn the world of the dystopian nuclear future that awaits all mankind and offer their solution to the problem. “We need to be prepared for the inevitable gasoline wars and the rise of the of the cyclopean camel spiders and lizard men.” says Dr. Hercules, frontman & guitarist, “Our plan is to construct a planet out of Rock & Roll that can sustain humankind for eternity.” Sounds like HAIRWOLF has pretty big ambitions! When asked how exactly this planet would be constructed, Dr. Hercules replied “One anthem at a time.” Kai Demasonai, drummer & vocalist added, “Soundwaves will be channeled through a magical space funnel that leads to a parallel universe… The songs will manifest as a solid sphere from the ether. It makes total sense. We’ve run the numbers and there is now way we’re going to screw this up.” Ronette Reagan, keyboardist & vocalist shared her positive outlook as well. “This whole scenario makes perfect sense. What is rock & roll? The first part is rock, you know, like stones and minerals. The second part is roll. So you roll all of the rock into a ball (using the magic funnel) and keep adding to it until it’s the size of a planet.” Quips Ronette, “If you write enough songs, big songs, it wont take that long. The more notes the better. Number Two, bassist, insisted “If people don’t believe this, we’ll make the formulas available to the public. NASA (National Anthemic Song Association) has given us the green light and with any luck we’ll have the planet done in 150,000 years.” When asked how long they expected themselves to live, the band refused comment. Dr. Hercules left us with one final comment, “If you want to live on Planet HAIRWOLF, you better bring beer… And it better not be Genesee Cream Ale.”