About Me
-----Where to begin? I could start by selling a social, mental ideal of myself to everyone about how unique, wonderful and “real†I am, listing all the highlights of what I just love about myself, while leaving out everything else I would rather drag under the carpet and ignore for a lifetime. Then, under "whom I ‘d like to meet" I could make a welcoming invitation of friendship to everyone who is really “real†like me, and not fake, superficial, or two-faced back biters like the great majority of people…Yeah, I could take this approach, but it is so cliché now isn’t it?
-----For the majority of you who know me, my behaviors and attitudes may have surprised you, either now or at some point in the past. In many ways, I am a chameleon, always changing, always taking up new manners of expression as if in some desperate pursuit of finding myself. My constant need to shed old images and take on something new can certainly leave not only myself, but even my closest friends confused. To those who only see me every now and then, I seem to be caught up in a hopeless entanglement of contradictions, and for good reason, because up until recently I have felt this way about myself and simply couldn’t stop.
-----This phenomena of chaotic existence I call, as many others call it, the deep sleep in which life is lived below the level of awareness; a level controlled by an artificial will under the laws of cause and effect. By will I do not mean one will, because the artificial will consists of many identities, that have nothing in common with each other (hence the contradictions), except that they exist to suppress any expression of authenticity in an individual. It is a fact of life that people are fragmented in their psyches, and I admit that if I could commend myself for anything it would be that I have recognized this, and have begun to make effort to reintegrate myself into a unified whole.
-----So then, who am I, and what am I all about? The irony of this question is that even in its simplicity I cannot answer it, because whatever I say now can only speak for who I am, and what I am about now, and that is not a reliable answer. I guess it is better for me to be it, than to try and explain it.
-----I don’t expect to gain much attention by my approach or the things I have said, and it is not my intention to even stand out from other personal web pages, but if anything I say here brings benefit to someone else, I will be satisfied in this.
-----The Stages of the Work-----If we were to really observe ourselves,
we would become aware of our habits.If we were to become aware of our habits,
we would let go and relax.If we were to let go and relax,
we would be aware of sensations.If we were to be aware of sensations,
we would receive impressions.If we were to receive impressions,
we would awaken to the moment.If we were to awaken to the moment,
we would experience reality.If we were to experience reality,
we would see that we are not our personality.If we were to see that we are not our personality,
we would remember ourselves.If we were to remember ourselves,
we would let go of our fear and attachments.If we were to let go of our fear and attachments,
we would be touched by God.If we were touched by God,
we would seek union with God.If we were to seek union with God,
we would will what God wills.If we were to will what God wills,
we would be transformed.If we were transformed,
the world would be transformed.If the world were transformed,
all would return to God.--–from The Wisdom of the Enneagram
---Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson
