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T.

To see a World in a Grain of Sand And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your h

About Me

I once tied with a professional actor in a Darth Vader impersonation contest at a comedy club. I love the feel of mud between my toes. I wish that more buildings had more windows. I find that I still struggle in my speech and interactions with others to break through the old skin and expose the brilliance of what happens in my head and spirit when I am alone. Hurried in conversation, I often jump onto the old train of thought and then feel foolish after doing so. T Yet, I am haunted by the thoughts that tell me that I am as caged as the canary in my studio singing my song to the wild birds outside the window. Still hesitating somehow, fumbling to let myself be wild, not rein myself in and question the boundaries imposed in my head. The black and white life of my childhood has melted like mercury in this dawn of my adulthood. I consider myself a beautiful mess. I go through periods of obsessive organization and trickle into times where I have to hike over all of my clothes on the floor in order to get to bed. I hate doing laundry, but I do it so that I don’t stink and to show the powers that be that I am grateful for the clothing. I have just gotten back to loving to cook after working as a pastry chef in the restaurant world almost broke me of that passion. I do not like doing the dishes. New Rule in my life: It is okay for me to be scared; it is not okay for me to stay there. I shut down when I get really cold. I am slightly dyslexic, which developed after a really bad riding accident. I chew my fingernails, so I keep them really short (well, also, so that I can do massages and play guitar). I often type the word “me” instead of “my” unconsciously, remnants of me Irish heritage? I have a very dirty sense of humor, but don’t like the whole “dead baby” joke realm. I think we as a society take sex way too seriously, but I think we often miss the beauty and the depth it offers by trying to dissect it. I have days where I feel like I am the most beautiful woman to walk the earth, and I have days where I feel like a wart. The first thing I do when I walk in the house is turn on music and say hello to my canary. I have my alarm clock set to NPR. I like sit at a coffee shop every Sunday morning and write for at least 3 hours. I grow frustrated that my artistic abilities nowhere match my vision. I generally don’t make my bed unless I am in an organizational phase or I think someone is going to see it. I have learned that even people who are madly in love need clear separation and respectful boundaries. I love good food, lots of laughter, growing comfortable enough with people that witty banter becomes part of the conversation. I enjoy being put in new situations that I get to learn from, although sometimes I struggle through them while they are happening. '"
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My Interests

TRAVEL(Although I am still working on doing that), Riding horses, art, art,art,art,art, exploring, books of all kinds, learning how to play guitar, painting, listening to music, the healing arts-polarity therapy, massage, and cranial sacral( I used to be a massage therapist, but that is a long story). Philosophy, theology, history, humanity in general. Tasting new things, seeing new things, feeling solid in myself, but open to newness. Being outside. '"
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I'd like to meet:

People trying to live their lives creatively, whole-heartedly, with integrity and passion.
"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." -Arundhati Roy

Music:

The Pixies, Modest Mouse, Iron and wine, Bernadette Seacrest, NINA SIMONE(reminds me of road trips with my dad), Van Morrison("sweet thing" is one of my favorites). Bill Withers, Sam Pacetti, Counting Crows, Ellis Paul, John Hiatt(thank you, Jonah, for introducing his music to me), The Cure, Death Cab for Cutie,Portishead, Morphine, John Prine, Lara St. John(her Gypsy style violin album is always in my CD player).......so many yet to hear. '"
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Movies:

Moonlight Mile, Snatch, One Giant Leap, Motorcycle Diaries, Babette's Feast, Sex and Lucia, Stealing Beauty, Donnie Darko, Grosse Pointe Blank,Shower, Bull Durham, Amelie, Tomb Raider( hey, it's nice to see a good kick-ass mama sometimes), The Dancer Upstairs, Imaginary Heroes, Big Fish ........ '"
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Television:

too much life out there and in my head/heart to sit in front of the tv!!! '"
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Books:

Shopgirl by Steve Martin (think I have read it at least 10 times). The End of An Affair by Graham Greene, Aphrodite by Isabel Allende( Hey, it's about food and sex...never trust anyone who does not love those two things....Oh, and pinkie rings...never trust a man who wears a pinkie ring), Places That Scare You by Pema Chodron, Dan Eldon: The Art of Life by Jennifer New, On Love and Other Difficulties by Rilke( Thanks, Katinka.), Emergency Sex and Other Desperate Measures(written by three international UN volunteers), A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean, The Merchant of Marvels by Frederic Clement, The Alchemist, Anything by Shel Silverstein(although I hear he wrote for Playboy, can't say I know of anyone who has read the articles..he,he), Mary Oliver's poetry, David Whyte's poetry. Isak Diensen. And Charles de Lint. '"
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Heroes:

The girls I went to massage school with for their strength and grace. My best friend-Maggie, for exploring the world outside herself. Ryan, for letting his true self finally be seen. And saving the best for last....my incredible boyfriend, Greg, for his unwavering patience, strong encouragement, dedicated kindness, steadfast presence, resolute integrity, and for creating with me the relationship I never dreamed I could have. '"
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My Blog

Skinny

My friends have often heard me brag about this man. He was more than a "grandfather" to me.  He was a truly dear friend and ever since I met him at the age of 9  he treated me like a peer. W...
Posted by T. on Wed, 23 May 2007 02:22:00 PST

The Awakening

A time comes in your life when you finally get it...when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity,you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voiceinside your head cries out...ENOUGH!Enough fig...
Posted by T. on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 10:16:00 PST

Daughter

by Nicole BlackmanOne day I'll give birth to a tiny baby girland when she's born she'll scream and I'll make sureshe never stops.I will kiss her before I lay her downand will tell her a story so she k...
Posted by T. on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:50:00 PST

Favorite Horoscope

My pop e-mails me my horoscope every week from Rob Brenszy's Free Will Horoscope.  This one from valentine's is my favorite so far.  Oh, and if you know anyone who fits this description, poi...
Posted by T. on Fri, 13 Apr 2007 10:47:00 PST

Goddess

..>DEAR GODDESS, you who never kill but only change: I pray that my exuberant, suave, and accidental words will move you to shower ferocious blessings down on everyone who reads this benediction. I ...
Posted by T. on Tue, 03 Apr 2007 05:46:00 PST