Chubbs Peterson

I used to be a professional golfer, now I give golfing tips at a local country club. Back in 1965, sports illustrated said I was going to be the next Arnold Palmer. But they wouldnt let me play on the Pro tour anymore...Damn alligator bit my hand off. After that, my life entered a terrible downward spiral. I started selling coke and doing crystal meth to numb the pain. I spent some time in jail and made friends with a short mexican transsexual named Wilfredo, who introduced me to Jesus Christ. After I got out of jail, I cleaned my act up. I figured that if I couldnt use my gift, I would teach others to use it. So I became a golf instructor, where I met a big beautiful white woman who I later married, and eventually, Happy Gilmore.But Chubbs, you are dead, how are you on myspace? Well, after 20 years of marriage, I came home from a long day of teaching overweight women to golf, and found my wife having sex with Tom Selleck. I went to my trophy room, grabbed my 3 wood and beat both my wife and Tom with it. I got 10 years in jail for assault and battery with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder, so I had to be written out of the movie somehow.Anyway, 8 years later, Im up for parole and back to teaching fat white women to golf. Think you have what it takes to play with the greats, only one way to find out.