In no particular order: Elvis, but it ain't happening; Jenna Von Oy; Jude Law; Cher; my biological family; Jeremiah S. from Blackbaud; Kevin Bacon; Miss Cindy Hsiao; Karl Rove, so I can punch him in the gut; Keanu Reeves; Monique; The Tick; someone who can confirm Gavin Newsom's homosexuality; Colin Farrell; Jody Foster; Noah Wylie; Sigfreid and Roy; the inventor of Chex Party Mix; Jeremy Piven; Gene Simmons; Angelica Houston; Dennis Richmond from KTVU Channel 2 News; The Dali Lama; Ellen Degeneres; Bucky the Katt; Michael Rosenbom; Goran Vijsnic; Prince William; Kool-Aid; Ewan McGregor; Cate Blanchett; Bill Clinton; The Blue Man Group; Dirk Diggler; Maura Tierney; Cheap Trick; Matt Dillon; Mariah Carey; David Faustino; Julianne Moore; Jake Gyllenhaal; David Sedaris; Val Kilmer; Lisa Kudrow; the Hanson brothers; Elizabeth Hubbard; Homer Simpson; Kelly Clarkson; Annette Benning; Augusten Burroughs; an honest politician; Will Ferrell; Joe Jackson; Tom Welling; Kurt Vonnegut; Amy Sherman-Palladino; Brendan Fraser; Bob Mould; the creator of bell-bottoms; Dan Millman; Michael Landon; Liza Minelli; Ren & Stimpy; Boy George; Wayne Dyer; someone who will employ me in television with no prior experience.