LIFE ADJUSTMENT DISORDER is the culmination of over six years collaborative and individual song writing between core member’s DACKYBOY-lead vocals/guitar and MIKEY B-guitar/vocals.
Both have played in various bands over the years (BLITZ BABIEZ + TERRIBLE VIRTUE amongst others), gaining a wealth of touring, gigging and recording experience both at home and overseas. But the past is PAST!
Now, joined by LBJ on drums/vocals and DANSON BENSON on bass/vocals, the time has come to put things in ORDER.
…AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS………
BORED? LISTLESS? DEPRESSED? SUICIDAL?
Life got you down with all those troubles you hold? Need a solution- a cure for your woes? LIFE ADJUSTMENT DISORDER COULD BE FOR YOU!
It has been clinically proven that prolonged exposure to shit music can result in extreme fatigue, disillusionment and anger, leading to periods of personal debasement, extreme hostility and self flagellation, leaving you feeling dirty, degraded and spiritually adrift.
Are you tired of hearing music or seeing live bands that just don’t deliver the goods?
That leaves you unimpressed, unsatisfied, uninspired, unmoved, unchanged and, well…
Just …… urm… ‘UN’!
LIFE ADJUSTMENT DISORDER COULD BE FOR YOU! .Feeling jaded, morose, unchallenged? Need some wholesome dirty fun with no strings attached?
Want to see a band that plays like it means it with real guts and feel that look like their very lives depend upon it? A band with the gall, audacity and BIG FUCKING BALLS to play whatever they want with no pandering to style, fad, scene, fashion or particular demographic?
LIFE ADJUSTMENT DISORDER COULD BE FOR YOU.
“You see, LIFE ADJUSTMENT DISORDER (L.A.D.) ATTACKS BOREDOM FAST!! Starting with delicious tingling tones penetrating the souls of the feet from the very earth on which you stand, L.A.D. works ever upward, infecting the ankles, calf muscles, knee joints, thigh and quadriceps with an irresistible ‘boogie ’or ‘rocking’ urge. L.A.D. then moves onward, ever onward, up the back of the legs to the gluteus maximus or ‘ booty’ area, injecting each cheek in turn with a shaking or jiggling motion in direct rhythmic accordance (in most cases) with the already strutting lower columns.
As it moves through the pelvic arena, halting for a scintillating second, L.A.D. s cells divide again and again readying itself for its sustained invasion of the upper body. As it worms its way through the bladder (caution may need to be exercised at this point), it works through the small and large intestines and on its way unknots the stomach. L.A.D. then shimmies through the kidneys, releasing glorious adrenals, caressing the gall bladder, pancreas, liver and diaphragm on its way before entering into the hall of its main target, surrounding and easily overwhelming the heart, making it swell with rejuvenated life.
The body’s pump propels a stream of excited corpuscles surging jet like into the blood stream, creating a hitherto unexperienced wave of euphoria. Hitting the shoulders, simultaneously forcing them up, then down, up then down L.A.D. courses through each arm causing an involuntary flapping or juggling motion along with a clapping of the hands or a clicking of the fingers.
Speeding back up en route to the throat, L.A.D’s natural instinct is to go for the jugular, however it merely canoodles with it fleetingly before passing the mouth invoking a mighty whooping and hollering leaving the subject grinning like a simpleton.
Nearing the end of its journey it widens the eyes, saucer like and blasts a shower of multi coloured sparks from each ear. Tickling the cerebellum, L.A.D reaches the brain, letting off a string of small pleasurable explosions by way of a triumphant salutation leaving the subject in a state of complete and utter blissâ€.
And there we have it. A simple no fuss solution to your miserable, worthless existence.
Try L.A.D. today. If symptoms persist… TOUGH TITS!
WARNING: side effects may include red-hot flame shooting from your arsehole, irresistible urges to jump into canoes and frantic kazoo playing. L.A.D. LABORATORIES (LADLAB) LTD
All bookings through ZOMBIE DOG ENTERTAINMENTwww.myspace.com/zombiedogent.
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