Sawyer - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Critics everywhere are raving about "Sawyer!"

"I loved him. A phenomenal experience from start to finish!"
- Joel Catsenburger, The Bathtub Herald

"If you only obsess about one myspace person this year, make it 'Sawyer'!"
- Abe Lincoln, former U.S. President

"I very nearly choked on my popcorn during some of the more dramatic sequences of 'Sawyer'! A lovely person from start to finish."
- Gertrude Tumbleweed, The Phuket Gazette

"I'll never forget that one fiery night where he was mine and mine alone. Excuse me, I have something in my eye!"
- Jennifer Love Hewitt

"Four out of five stars!"
- Gene Shallot

"I'm being quoted without permission, and I never actually said this, but 'Sawyer' is an action-packed thrill ride from start to finish!"
- Robb Roncs

"I bet he's related to Tom Sawyer!"
- Mark Twain, Famous American Author and Jerk (couldn't a-picked another name, huh, dickweed?)

"Eh. It was okay. Maybe get 'Sawyer' on DVD or something."
- Some asshole

Audiences agree! If you meet only one person online, make it 'Sawyer!'

Under 17 not admitted. Check local listings.

My Interests

Please!

I'd like to meet:

Jerks

Music:

and here you were expecting some long lists of bands and albums, just so you could say, "hey, that guy has some awesome musical tastes!" look. they run the gamut. jazz, folk rock, industrial metal, 80s, 90s, and everything that wasn't produced in this decade. and also, r. kelly's "trapped in the closet" for all the wrong reasons. sorry r, that shit is awesome. i am not a musician, but i'm typing this in lowercase like most of the musicians do. that counts for something, right?

Movies:

pulp fiction, kill bill 1/2, ju-on, the ring (american version), spiderman, spidey 2, the matrix, the matrix reloaded (fuck you, i liked it), goodfellas, godfather, godfather 2, batman, memento, toy story, toy story 2, finding nemo, seven samurai, sanjuro, who am i, operation condor, operation condor 2, cowboy bebop, scarface, braveheart, lost in translation, sin city, spinal tap, the jerk, snatch, lock stock 2 smoking barrels, batman begins, corpse bride, dawn of the dead (remake), trigun, indiana jones (all of 'em), and star wars - all four of them (yeah, i'm okay with episode 3)

Television:

24, undergrads, seinfeld, the simpsons, family guy, playmakers, the sopranos, curb your enthusiasm, the office (bbc), extras, the showbiz show, the daily show -with or without jon stewart

Books:

america (the book), neverwhere, american gods, don't make me think!, lullaby, farenheit 451, 1984

Heroes:

Batman is a hero.

My Blog

Pulp Fiction by William Shakespeare

ceruleanst gives us two passages of William Shakespeare's Pulp Fiction:ACT I SCENE 2. A road, morning. Enter a carriage, with JULES and VINCENT, murderers.J: And know'st thou what the French name cott...
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 11:06:00 PST

Video from my trip to Tokyo

I can't believe I forgot to post this.
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 14 Apr 2008 08:09:00 PST

Mitch Hedburg vs. Heckler

I fucking love this guy.
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 31 Mar 2008 11:26:00 PST

I pissed off people on Youtube

A couple people from the Internet and I took some youtube videos, lowered the commentary and overdubbed our own. We used a fake account called "retsupray" (it’s like an Asian-ized version ...
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 17 Mar 2008 02:01:00 PST

This shit is bananas.

Seriously, worst artist of all time.
Posted by Sawyer on Wed, 19 Dec 2007 06:57:00 PST

Well, its official. I cant drink Orangina.

"Here's what we're imagining for our new Orangina ad campaign, Jean. We need the product to be sexier, right? And there's nothing sexier than animals fucking. Hear me out."So imagine...
Posted by Sawyer on Fri, 16 Nov 2007 12:10:00 PST

I got published on Spike TV dot com!

Producer: "Hey Sawyer, would you be interested in contributing to the gaming portion of the rant? (spiketv.com's marketing term for a blog)"Me: "Sure."One week of corporate editing p...
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 30 Apr 2007 12:49:00 PST

Bang Bang

"Hell is other people."- SartreSo I got sent this myspace profile and I have to say it. This is the coolest kid I've ever met.Bang BangHailing from Long Island (well, that's a fucking shock), Bang Ba...
Posted by Sawyer on Tue, 17 Apr 2007 09:50:00 PST

WTF?

Wait, I deleted that Spike TV promo from my profile months ago? Why the hell is it still there?I blame myspace.
Posted by Sawyer on Thu, 22 Mar 2007 08:49:00 PST

They call him boss.

Oh blacksploitation films! Will you ever stop being entertaining?Before I get 1000 angry replies... from the 6 or 7 people who read my blog, remember I'm just here reporting....
Posted by Sawyer on Mon, 12 Feb 2007 09:15:00 PST