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Chimo
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Okay. My name is Patrick (Dram), and here's some shit about me. Much to the shame of some of my friends, I'm a hyena furry who talks too much, makes jokes about abortion, punches girls in the tits, hates emo people, enjoys life, wants to get a intestinal parasite and take a shit in Christopher Paolini's mouth, and doesn't give a shit what you think about me. If you like me, good for you; when the zombie apocalypse comes, I'll let you into my impenetrable fortress. If you don't like me, good for you, you won't have to listen to my incessant talking. Fashion is evil and so are celebrities and paying more attention to one dead white princess bitch than thousands of AIDS-dead six year old black kids. Fuck that. Also, if you are a girl, and you hit me, I'll kick the shit out of you, you little dyke. If you are a girl, and you hug me, I'll hug back and make cute hyena noises. If you ignore me, I'll leave you alone. Same with guys; if you say, "Yo", I will say, "Whuddup." If you say, "What's up, fag," I'll rip your ear off with my teeth. I'm not a tough guy, but I am 6'1 and I do work out and even though you'll probably win I'll take a good chunk of your stomach with me. That's pretty much how I work; treat me good, I'll be your best friend. Treat me like shit, and I'll bite off your thumbs. If you go to HN, I'm the oddly tall kid with bushy hair and the green Element bag who normally looks blazed out of his mind.
