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About Me


I'm Bob Kelso and I like whores.
...and Moist Cake.
...and Southeast Asia (for the food).

NBC CNDR / That’s What She Said
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Sorry sport, I was thinking about soup.
Here at Sacred Heart, I like to think that our patients choose our hospital not only because I leak vicious rumors about competing hospitals to the press, but also because when they see one of our doctors they think, Now that's a professional!
I've let this whole new look thing slide the last few months, but now that your colleagues are beginning to complain I'm going to give you the same advice I give my son every morning. Lose the makeup! Get a haircut! And stop using my razor to shave your fun zone!
If crying worked on me, my wife would have her own car by now.
Golly I do love moist cake.
Does this nametag say Chief of medicine? Because that couple back there thought it said, "Hi! I'm Bob! Talk to me about your baby's johnson!"
Enid. I'm not cheating on you. This is MY earring. See?

My Interests

I'd like to meet:


Do you people have any idea how long I've been waiting on you? Next time, if you're not here in thirty minutes or less, I expect a free dead body... or at least some garlic knots.

Is there one bathroom in this damn place that has toilet paper, or do I have to start carrying around a basket of leaves?

My Blog

Disclaimer

I'm not really Dr. Bob Kelso.  Bob is a fictional character.  A am not Ken Jenkins either.  My name is Twisty Bottoms and I'm a [scrubs] fan simply trying to spread the joy of [scrubs]....
Posted by on Sat, 16 Jun 2007 12:48:00 GMT

Clicky tops

Carla: Why is your mouth red?Dr. Cox: Duct-taped two hours in a morgue drawer; don't piss off the Janitor; end of story.Carla: Okay....I'm ordering more pens. Do you like twisty bottoms or clicky tops...
Posted by on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 13:55:00 GMT

Seabiscuit

Dr. Kelso: Doctor Reid, your patient Mrs. Burke has developed a urinary infection. Apparently it hurts when she makes wizzywinkles through her seabiscuit. You are a doctor, and you need to be able to ...
Posted by on Fri, 14 Oct 2005 13:47:00 GMT

Insurance Physical

Kelso: Perry! HI. How are you, etcetera& The wife and I just took out a new insurance policy and I need a physical.Dr. Cox: Bob, the day I willingly cradle your dusty old twig and berries and get a wh...
Posted by on Thu, 13 Oct 2005 18:54:00 GMT

Hey Ace.

Kelso: Hey Ace. Your TTP patient coded. I pronounced him.JD: He died?Kelso: I certainly hope so, otherwise that autopsy's gonna be a bitch.
Posted by on Sat, 08 Oct 2005 12:21:00 GMT