People often ask me why I don't associate with ugly people. I usually respond by kicking them in the face for being ugly and trying to talk to me, but what I'm really trying to tell them is that ugliness is contagious.
There's nothing sadder than when a woman finds out her gay husband is really not that gay after all. Except for that time I accidentally tripped this guy in front of a bunch of three-year-olds at the mall. And by 'tripped' I mean 'murdered'. And by 'this guy' I mean 'Santa Claus'.
Pfft. More like the craptastic crapobolic crapulator of crappity-crap-crap. Blarf. In addition, it is ugly as ugly can get, raises several safety issues, and is so freaking stupid I had to puke at how stupid it is.
Ninjas were said to be agents of espionage and assassination in feudal Japan in legend and popular fiction. Revered by some as the world's first special forces, some modern practitioners of budo ninjutsu argue that ninja were used primarily as spies, not assassins, and this appears to be borne out by some historical records. It is popularly believed that the ancient ninja were peasants, forbidden under law from studying the samurai swordplay techniques because of feudal Japan's caste structure, but more likely they originated from a variety of castes.
"One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save".
