JOLTIN' JOE profile picture

JOLTIN' JOE

I am here for Dating, Serious Relationships and Friends

About Me

I'm a modern man. A man for the millenium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high tech lo-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multitasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hotwired, heatseaking, warmhearted cool customer, voice activated and biodegradable. I interface with my database and my database is in cyberspace, so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet, and pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A streetwise smartbomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties; I tell power lies; I take power naps; I take victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot, slamdunk rain maker with a pro-active outreach, a raging workaholic, a working rage-a-holic, out of rehab and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal angenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down, cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I'm a non-believer and an overacheiver, laid-back but fashion foward, up front, down home, low rent, high mantinence, supersize, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, footloose, knee-jerk headcase, prematurely postraumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling; I'm caring; I'm healing; I'm sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing, primary caregiver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk-mail; I eat junk food; I buy junk bonds; I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, captial intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex; I like tough love; I use the f-word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hardcore; no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a minimall; I bought a minivan at a megastore. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite size, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes; a fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double wrapped, vacuum packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked, and ready to rock; rough, tough, and hard to bluff. I take it slow; I go with the flow; I ride with the tide; I got glide in my stride; driving and moving, sailing and spinning, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunchtime is crunchtime. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt, and I'm hanging tough, over and out
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My Interests

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Play Games at AddictingGames

Music:

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My Blog

SOMETHIN DIFFERENT

YOU'RE IT BLOG.......Rules of the game:Once you're tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird or interesting facts about yourself. At the end, you choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their name...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Wed, 13 Jun 2007 04:11:00 PST

CHICAGOHOLICS!!!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM IF... You know what the phone number for Empire Carpet is! Your living room is called the "front room." (pronounced fronchroom) You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illin...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Fri, 19 Jan 2007 08:59:00 PST

MOST SOX FANS KNOW

THE CHICAGO WHITE SOX GRINDER RULES The Grinder Rules are a set of fictitious "rules" created as a part of the advertising campaign for the 2005 Chicago White Sox baseball franchise of Major League Ba...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Sat, 23 Sep 2006 09:08:00 PST

SURVEY TIME

01. who are you, what's our relationship:02. how and where did we meet:03. what's my middle name:04. how long have you known me:05. tell me one good thing about myself06. when you first saw me what wa...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 09:42:00 PST

SORRY KIDS....BUT HERES THE TRUTH!!!

Santa Claus:An Engineers PerspectiveI. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist r...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Wed, 20 Sep 2006 07:02:00 PST

WELL.....READ THREW IT CAREFULLY...THEN POST A COMMENT!!!!

I HAD TOO...ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE SOX FANS!!!!! HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU CUBS COULD BE AN ACRONYM....WELL HERES A FEW...  >=)   Completely Useless by September Could U Beat Somebody Could you...
Posted by JOLTIN' JOE on Wed, 16 Aug 2006 07:37:00 PST