Ernie profile picture

Ernie

problematiccontent

About Me

The name's Ernie. Ernie III to be more specific. Yes, there was so much crap they had to start three piles. I'm an Applications Analyst for a utility company in the beautiful Berkshires. That basically means I offer technical support for highly specialized applications and work with users and programmers to develop new tools and applications to create or improve business processes. I used to be a programmer, but now I tell the programmers what to do. :-)
All my interests et al are listed on the side so I won't bore anyone foolish enough to read this thing with those details. Most of my time is spent online, between writing, playing poker, chatting with the woman I love, or just plain procrastinating. The Internet long ago replaced the television as the ultimate in my slacker entertainment.
I have a writing portfolio at Writing.com , but don't waste your time trying to read my stuff, because most of it is set to restricted access. The last thing I need is my family finding all the sordid and despicable things I write about them. I personally dabble in fantasy, and I'm working on series of fantasy novels. In truth my strength comes as an essayist and satirist, and the only way I'd ever make money in the writing industry would be as an editor, but I have an epic tale in my head that needs to be told. One day, my grandfather's name will grace a dedication page hopefully. If you write as a hobby, check out Writing.com; it's an online community at its finest. I even accidentally met my fiancee there. (Though from her perspective it may not have been an accident.) Just tell them "Problematic Content" sent you. Actually, no, you better not let anyone know you're familiar with me...
I play micro limits Texas Hold'em on PartyPoker.com as user erbiii. PartyPoker is full of fish and sharks. I'm more like a dogfish, but I'm growing my teeth. If you have no idea what pot odds are, please come and play with me. I promise to spend your money wisely. Then again, even fools get lucky sometimes. Just ask my brother.
My summers are spent coaching baseball, a tradition that may soon come to an end. I am more proud of the team I helped coach to a district championship and 4 straight league championships than I am of delivering the valedictorian speech at my high school graduation. In the summer my father and I live and breathe baseball, and I'll be disappointed when it finally comes to end. With any luck I'll have kids of my own to coach someday.
I already mentioned living in the Berkshires. I hope I can spend all my life there, but I do wish the damned NYC tourists would vacate and let our small towns stay small. So rather than tell you how beautiful the Berkshires are and suggest you visit, I'm going to tell you right now to stay away! Especially if you're a city slicker! Heed my words or suffer the consequences.

Because Easter is on its way...


My Interests

Reading, writing, watching TV, movies, coaching and playing baseball, poker, computers, any sort of competitive game, and most importantly the love of my life

I'd like to meet:

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter." - Winston Churchill

Music:

I'll listen to most anything except rap. I like a good mix of modern rock, overly dramatic 80s love ballads, and some 80s hair bands. And who can forget "The Safety Dance?!?!"

Movies:

Give me action, drama, horror, and some comedy. Okay okay, I'll even watch a romantic comedy now and again. Topping the list are "The Last Samurai," "The Matrix," and "Field of Dreams."

Television:

Cartoons, anime, reality TV, crappy Halloween movie marathons, CSI, ballgames, poker... Hmmm, otherwise I don't watch much TV.

Books:

Fantasy, Science fiction, mystery, historical fiction, baseball, poker, comic books/graphic novels, pretty much anything someone tells me to read... though I'll procrastinate as long as possible.

Heroes:

My grandfather: a man's man, tough as nails and hilariously offensive.

My Blog

The True Meaning of Halloween

Ugh, what's with everyone explaining the whole Halloween thing?  So it's Samhaim, All Hallow's Eve, whatever.  Yeah, yeah, pagans and Wiccans and holiday-stealing Catholics.  Harvests a...
Posted by Ernie on Thu, 01 Nov 2007 06:17:00 PST

On being drunk and stupid...

Last Saturday was the annual Halloween party. We were going to skip it this year because all the planning that went into our pirate wedding was enough preparatory celebration for one year. Everyone wa...
Posted by Ernie on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:42:00 PST

Wonky Badgers

I'm really frickin' bored right now.  I could be reading, watching manly stuff on Spike, or even working on my epic novel.  In fact, I should be doing the latter, but I'm having a hard time ...
Posted by Ernie on Fri, 28 Sep 2007 02:59:00 PST

It's a man's world.

Today I've decided to be even manlier than usual. I'm actually oozing testosterone, and just by reading this blog you'll likely sprout some new chest hair. This goes for the ladies too.I didn't get up...
Posted by Ernie on Sun, 14 Jan 2007 06:53:00 PST

I forgot my beret.

Now there are two kinds of hippies in this world: dirty hippies and beatniks. Yes, beatniks are really just clean, elitist hippies. Needless to say, I don't care for either sort. At least dirty hippie...
Posted by Ernie on Sat, 13 Jan 2007 07:58:00 PST

Modern Day Amenities

Lots of us use our blogs to rant about silly things in life that tick us off. Well, today I'm going to do a complete 180 and write about a silly thing in life that we should all stop and appreciate. I...
Posted by Ernie on Sat, 06 Jan 2007 05:35:00 PST

Speak no evil.

A fellow blogger asked me to write about my views on cussing in blogs.  Yes, he actually used the word "cussing."  Seriously, dude, there should be a law against 20-somethings ever...
Posted by Ernie on Thu, 21 Sep 2006 04:19:00 PST

You reap what you sow.

Jodi's been after me to clip my toenails for weeks now.  She doesn't understand the ritual that is clipping my toenails.  Nor does she understand that I usually have to lift weights for six ...
Posted by Ernie on Tue, 12 Sep 2006 04:53:00 PST

Lyrical Genius

Okay, so I haven't blogged in a long while.  Some people jumped to the absurd conclusion that meant something was awry in my life.  Not so, I just simply don't blog unless I'm inspired. ...
Posted by Ernie on Sun, 10 Sep 2006 02:17:00 PST

The Missing Link... but to what?

This one here is from my old blog a couple months ago...I'm falling asleep at work, quite literally, and I haven't had anything to blog about today.  Luckily my lunch break at the mall gave me fr...
Posted by Ernie on Thu, 07 Sep 2006 10:24:00 PST