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Alex

And remember oh Lord, to protect the elephants........amen.

About Me

Just sitting around wearing Nikes and waiting for the comet to come Lost in Allston Rock City Brighton, searching for amusing people and a breakfast sandwich..work as a crime analyst tactical analyst, amateur cartographer, I have been told that I am a smug bastard. I like concerts...I have been told that i am always trouble, I just bounce in and out of evil. Gortlock once said of me: "He is scum, but he is our kind of scum."
I suppose you could say that everyone has an El Guapo. For some, shyness may be an El Guapo. For others, lack of education may be an El Guapo. But for me, El Guapo is a large ugly man who wants to kill me!
i like to think they burried merv griffin with a years supply of rice-a-roni, thereby redefining the phrase "parting gift" forever
I love to use a Snackmaster ... I am here to do two things, kick ass and chew bubble gum and unfortunately for you i am all out of bubble gum... I like my coffee strong and my hookers dead..can procrastinate better than anyone...I have a chewbacca suit..i have never broken a bone in my body..i am a good sharer..I like to pretend i am a pirate..I like to declare shenanigans...my favorite words are Douchebaggery and Asshattery....I like to randomly yell "Ruck over!"...I am devious...If I were a ref at the Special Olympics, I would actually call double dribble...I used to live in a house with a crappy emo band that became an even crappier pop band..I have been propositioned by dutch people...obsessed with helper monkeys and hobos....need to get more sleep... love to live through strategic napping....I wait and hope for the an invasion of undead zombies, so i can run about hacking them down with a chainsaw, if I die and that never happens, i will feel cheated....I often remind myself that i am the rock and not the river....i am a million crazy people rolled into one..I do not think children are the future, i think that monkeys are the future...I once had a roomate who was a cokehead that liked tranny porn, ... Someone once offered to sell me crack at 4 am and i politely said "no thank you", as if manners counted in that situation...i used to live down the hall from John Tesh's stepson, he is a nice guy. saw John Tesh once, he is extremely tall and has a gigantic head, kinda frankenstein-like... i am absurdly random...I randomly challenge people to scrabble...i like to think i am smart....i love monkeys...seeking an adventure...I love to wander aimlessly at night..I am a Noble Pirate..I have been described as "interesting"...
i like to make weird jokes and comments...i can be rather offensive..I am a habitual line-crosser..I make jokes about semen, fisting sheep, truckstops, dead hookers, goat porn, monkeys, hobos and dead babies...I think old people carry around gummy bears and condoms...Someone once believed that I was sending Goat Porn to a Mormon Church in New Jersey (I shit you not! - Although, for the record, I have never done such a thing)... ..i should not be taken seriously by anyone....
I'm trying to organize a prison break. We have to first get out of this bar, then the hotel, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out? .
I have a good nature and always seem to offer help, even when it is not wanted or appreciated.
"Superman never made any money For saving the world from Solomon Grundy And sometimes I despair the world will never see Another man like him... Sometimes when Supe was stopping crimes I'll bet that he was tempted to just quit and turn his back"
In the end, it is my noble heart that will always get me in trouble.

IM me at Brownie59 on AIM - If you are a band trying to add me, all you will get is an email back asking if you have songs about goat porn.

My Interests

Bacon, Rugby, Beer, Pool, music, Boston Red Sox, Boston Bruins, overusing capital letters, schadenfreude , Unhealthy addiction to Video Game Hockey.... misusing punctuation marks, Stomping on hookers and then hiding their bodies....

I'd like to meet:

Helper monkeys, Rabble-rousers, Chuck Norris, the makers of hobo wine, Ninjas, Milan Kundera, Fans of late night wine drinking, someone who loves mexican food, Ice T, The Bumblebee man, people who enjoy video game hockey, Flimflam artists, fans of Phase 10 and Skip-Bo, people who tell dead baby jokes, someone with wonderful lips, Rene Rancourt, Crab People, A sweet caring vegan, the people who are looking at my fingerprints, someone who is not a coward, pirates, someone who will tell me that I did a good jorb, percussionists, someone for whom i can make brunch, Fans of Mario Cart, people with whom i can play scrabble, RED SOX FANS, people who are strict about grammar, Fans of Styx, Someone who enjoys wine and cheese, A sexy Eskimo, Fans of Lost, Gnomes, Fans of Survive!, anyone that can use the word Williwaw, girls who carry maple syrup with them, people I can lure with freshly baked cookies, fans of photo hunt aka "Nudie Touch", maidens of the sea, Alge Crumpler, people who understand the Glagolitic Alphabet, Someone who plays speed Scrabble, Someone who will wear antlers and let me take pictures of them, Fans of real Vermont Maple Syrup, Wayne the Brain, Max Power, Tom Servo, Carl Lewis , Fans of vitamin water, a graphic designer who can design sweet tattoos, Someone for whom I can make eggs benedict The Mooninites, a good mediator,Hank Scorpio, Merry Clayton, Cletus Van Damme, Fiddle players, percussionists, people who do enjoy the fact that i love leaving random comments, Former members of Ship of Fools, but not Auricula, Someone to do Sudoku Puzzles with, Fans of The Wire, people who love the patriots and eating chicken wings, fans of gouda cheese, Omar Little, a night elf, someone who has "that effect" on me , people who love haikus, Gil Hoy, a hedgehog or two, someone with a french canadian accent, people who like indian food, people who love photography and burritos, PJ Stock, people I can lure with candy, people who write Blogs about the Patriots, Sexy Midgets so i can get their digits, Ginger kids and day walkers, fellow Pabst drinkers, people who like goat porn jokes, people who like sushi, people with psychotic roommate stories, someone who is fun to sleep next to, nice smelling goths, a trumpet player, someone to help me decorate my new place, People who love Super Puzzle Fighter 2, people who like to clean while listening to Boston at loud volumes, people who used to sell throwing stars on the black market, Dr Weird, Sappy's proctologist (that guy must be rich!), and people who love dive bars especially the Model.

Alex's Friend Space
Alex has The Sexiest friends.

C4

Jallow

Sappy

Miester Hiester

Annie

Lyss

Freckles

Komma

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Music:

Led Zeppelin, White Zombie, The Misfits, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pearl Jam, Radiohead, Raconteurs, The White Stripes, Hendrix, Johnny Cash, Pink Floyd, The Shins, Clap your hands say Yeah, Phish, Alice in Chains, Soundgarden, Modest Mouse, Guns and Roses, Death From Above 1979, Scissor Sisters, Franz Ferdinand, Broken Social Scene, Nick Drake, The Decemberists, Audioslave, Chemical Brothers, Fat Boy Slim, Moby, Rolling Stones, Social Distortion, Cake, Ween, Primus, Soul Coughing, Mike Doughty, Talking Heads, Filter, ..More

Movies:

Mallrats, Clerks, Dirty Work, Spies Like Us, Usual Suspects, Three Amigos, Memento, Lost in Translation, Battle Royal, Lord of the Rings, Beavis and Butthead Do America. Donnie Darko, The Departed. The Descent. SLC Punk.

Television:

Family Guy, Simpsons, south park,The critic, MST3K, Invader Zim, The Shield, The Wire, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, 24.

Books:

Stiff, greatest book about corpses ever! Al Franken. Unbearable Lightness of Being, anything by Albert Camus or Milan Kundera,

Heroes:



My Blog

One Year Ago Today

I thwarted the master terrorist plan to invade Boston with blinking cartoon characters.See hereAnd here...
Posted by Alex on Thu, 31 Jan 2008 07:52:00 PST

Have a Tecmo Super Bowl

The full article can be found here.But here are the super awesome videos: Game Summary HereThis is still better analysis than you will see all week....
Posted by Alex on Tue, 29 Jan 2008 12:17:00 PST

The last time the Pats were in the Super Bowl

This saga unfolded:Part 1Part 2If it comes down to it, i am willing to see my car destroyed in an accident that is not my fault, if it means the pats winning. Although this time I will insist on getti...
Posted by Alex on Tue, 22 Jan 2008 01:05:00 PST

Banksy on the News

Watch it Here!If you have noticed the backgrounds on my page you will know that I am huge fan of his. Thank you Deb for letting me know it was on the news last night....
Posted by Alex on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 09:03:00 PST

Things worth reading

Fire Joe Morgan rips apart an article on how Jack Morris should be in the Hall of Fame.. Yeah he was good, but not amazing. Best line: "Why are these things mutually exclusive? Why not say: The Hall ...
Posted by Alex on Thu, 10 Jan 2008 11:43:00 PST

The Weekend in Pictures - July 8th - 10th

Another wonderful and busy weekend.. and for those of you who missed it, here are some pictures:Friday: Crazy day at work and some long hours but i made it back to the place and hungout with the rooma...
Posted by Alex on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST

No I did not win on Jeopardy and I do not look like that guy

A co-worker sent me this pic:and then this oneHorrible!! Revenge will be mine!...
Posted by Alex on Thu, 03 Jan 2008 11:25:00 PST

Why Chuck? Why?

I know Chuck is a big Christian and all but why did have to support Huckabee???...
Posted by Alex on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 08:35:00 PST

Go appreciate some art bitches!

Go here!and then thank me for making your life better.
Posted by Alex on Mon, 26 Nov 2007 12:29:00 PST

I love FireJoeMorgan.com and you should too

FireJoeMorgan.com does commentary on bad sports writing. This is their commentary on an article about this year's Cy Young Award. Original article in BOLD, FireJoeMorgan writing in Plain text.For the ...
Posted by Alex on Wed, 21 Nov 2007 12:13:00 PST