Brandon Van Stoned profile picture

Brandon Van Stoned

Shot through the heart, and you're to blame-- you give luuv a bayd nayme (bayd nayme).

About Me

I have read 0 books since 1-1-96, with a goal of under 0.
I'm also in my own extended network!!
Sorry, I had to reset my profile settings because of repeated requests from crappy bands made up of 4 fat white dudes who look like Benji Madden and are ex-football jocks.
I don't talk to men online. If you're a random dude and you sent me a message, I'm not writing back because I only talk to chicks. And maybe members of Van Stone because they can get me chicks.
If you want to be my friend, just send me a message and I'll add you.

My Interests

Eating food, drinking, nice women, rock music, punk rock karaoke, snowboarding, skateboarding, fishing, playing drums, playing Gibson guitars (Fenders suck), Clippers basketball, Ralph Lawler (Matt Pinto on radio is pretty good too), Phil Hendrie Show, John and Ken show, Coast to Coast AM with George Noory, AM radio in general, animals, my dog, science, ghosts, paranormal activity, psychology, playing bass, bowling, aquariums, gardening, playing with/killing bugs, war history, Castlevania, Final fantsy series, Youtube, en.wikipedia.org, Richard Simmons.com, and Myspace.com.

I'd like to meet:

Borat Sagdiyev.
Richard Simmons.
People who aren't selling me any products or services. Unless it's magic oregano or a $25 Randy Van Stone special.
Crab people. Craaaab people.
People with good cell phone etiquette.
Oh and that hot chick who was Italian, or maybe some kind of Spanish.

Get Van Stoned


People with a butt-chin
People who aren't trying to sell me something.

Music:

A-Ha, AC/DC, Adolescents, Adolf Dynamite, Agnostic Front, AFI, Alice Cooper, Alice Deejay, Alkaline Trio, Andrew WK, Angry Johnny, Anti-Flag, Aquabats, At the Drive-in , Ataris, Audioslave, Azul Azul, Bad Brains, Bad Religion, Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, Beatles, Ben Folds, Bigwig, Billy Idol, Billy Joel, Black Flag (early), Black Sabbath (With Ozzy), Blondie, Blue Oyster Cult, Blur, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Bobby McFerrin, Body Count, Boston, Bouncing Souls, Bracket, Breeders, Brian Eno, Buck o Nine, Buffalo Springfield, Buzzcocks, The Cars, Charlie Daniels Band, Cheap Trick, Chuck Berry, Circle Jerks, The Clash (early), Cockney Rejects, Cowboy Troy, Cranberries, Cream, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Cure, Dag Nasty, Damned (early), Danzig, David Bowie, Dead Kennedys, Deep Purple, Descendents (before 1985), Devo, Dick Dale, Die Toten Hosen, Distillers, The Donnas, The Doors, Down By Law, Dropkick Murphys, Duran Duran, Eazy-E, Eddie Money, Elastica, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, Eric Clapton, Face to Face, Five Satins, Flock of Seagulls, Foo Fighters, Franz Ferdinand, Freddie and the Dreamers, Frenzal Rhomb, Fugazi, Garbage, Generation X, George Harrison, Germs, Ginger Sling, Goldfinger, Go-Go's, Good Riddance, Guttermouth, Haddaway, Halo Friendlies, Hawkwind, Henry Rollins, Herman's Hermits, Hi-Standard, Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band, Husker Du, Ice-T, Iggy Pop, Ignite, International Noise Conspiracy, Iron Maiden, The Jam, Jawbreaker, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix Experience, Jim Croce, Jim Johnston (WWF), Jimmy Eat World, John Tesh, Joe Jackson, John Lennon, Johnny Cash, Jonathan Richman, Joykiller, Judas Priest, Kansas, Kim Wilde, The Kinks, Kool Keith, Kraftwerk, Lagwagon, Led Leppelin, Living End, Longfellow, Lovin' Spoonful, Lou Reed, Mamas and the Papas, Mars Volta, Men at Work, Michiru Yamane (Castlevania), Mike Ness, Mike V. and the Rats, Millencolin, Minor Threat, The Minutemen, Misfits, Missing Persons, Moody Blues, Motorhead, Muffs, Muse, Nada Surf, Naughty by Nature, New Order, New York Dolls, Nick Lowe, Nirvana, Nobuo Uematsu (Final Fantasy), No Doubt, NOFX, No Use for a Name, NWA, Oasis, Offspring, Oingo Boingo, One Man Army, Operation Ivy, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul McCartney, Pennywise, Pink Floyd, Pizzicato Five, Placebo, The Pogues, The Police, Police Rape, Postal Service, Primitives, Propagandhi, Public Enemy, Public Image Ltd, Pulley, The Punk Group, Queen, Queens of the Stone Age, Queers, Quiet Riot, Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Ramon Ayala, The Ramones, Rancid, Randy, Randy Edelman, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Reel Big Fish, Refreshments, Refused, The Replacements, Rhapsody, Ric Ocasek, Rick James, Rick Springfield, Righteous Brothers, Rise Against, Rock of Aegis, Rollins Band, Rolling Stones, Rooney, Roxy Music, The Ruts, Scorpions, Screeching Weasel, Seven Seconds, Sex Pistols, Shakira, Sham 69, Shonen Knife, Sick of it All, Skid Row, Slayer, Small Faces, Small Feces, Smashing Pumpkins, Smoking Popes, SNFU, Snuff, Social Distortion, Sonic Youth, Sparta, The Specials, The Start, Stiff Little Fingers, Sting, The Stooges, Street Dogs, Strife, Strokes, Strung Out, Sonny and Cher, Sublime, Sugarcult, Suicidal Tendencies, Suicide Machines, Sunny Day Real Estate, Superdrag, Supersuckers, Surfaris, Swingin' Utters, T. Rex, Talking Heads, Teen Idles, Television, Ten Foot Pole, Tenacious D, Thrice, Thirty Seconds to Mars, Throw Rag, Tiger Army, Todd Rundgren, Tom Petty, Transplants, Trey Parker (South Park), TSOL (Before 1983), The Turtles, Twisted Sister, U2, UB40, Unwritten Law, Van Halen, VAN STONE, The Vandals, Vapors, Velvet Underground, Ventures, Veruca Salt, The Vines, Village People, Voodoo Glow Skulls, Weezer (first 2 albums), Weird Al, Wesley Willis, White Snake, White Zombie, The Who, William Shatner, Wire, XTC, Yes, Youth Brigade, Zoli Band
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Movies:

Frank McKlusky C.I, Borat!, 40 year old Virgin, Science of Sleep, Fun with Dick and Jane, Just Friends, Final Cut, Sideways, President's Man, The Departed, Memoirs of a Geisha, Borat, Full Metal Jacket, Team America World Police, High Fidelity, Orange County, Old School, Insomnia, The Ring, Harold and Kumar, My 5 Wives, Easy Money, 4th Tenor, Saw, White Chicks, School of Rock, Dodge Ball, IT, Kill Bill series, Without a Paddle, Groundhog Day, The Nutty Professor, Rushmore, Waiting, Anchorman, Jackass 1&2, Meet Wally Sparks, Meet the Fockers, The man who knew too little, Wild Things, Arlington Road, Predator, One Hour Photo, Caddyshack, Good Morning Vietnam, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless mind, Mad Dog and Glory, Charlies Angels, Pirates of the Carribean, 50 First dates, Quick Change, Junior, Scary Movie, SWAT, Punch Drunk Love, End of Days, King Pin, Hercules in NY, Terminator Series, Platoon, X-men 2, What About Bob?, Casualties of War, Pulp Fiction, The Big Lebowski, Scary Movie, The Recruit, End of Days, True Lies, Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, Lost in Translation, Theres something About Mary, 21 grams, Star Wars 3-6, Shadow Warriors, Suburban Commando, South Park, Resident Evil 2, The Rundown, South Park, Delta Force, Missing in Action, Collateral Damage, Pumping Iron, Total Recall, 6th Day, Eraser, Predator, Jingle All the Way, Jackie Chan's First Strike, Twins, Kindergarten Cop, Last Action Hero, Mr. Nice Guy, Rumble in the Bronx, Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Along came polly, Anything featuring: Samuel L. Jackson, Chuck Norris, Arnold, Jackie Chan, Bill Murray, Robin Williams, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Rodney Dangerfield, and William Shatner (After Star Trek).

Television:

MacGyver, Family Guy, South Park, Scrubs, Walker Texas Ranger, Conan, Jerry Springer, Married With Children, Show Me the Money, Boston Legal, Peter Griffin's Side-boob hour, jackass, Jesus and Friends, Terrence and Philip.

.... ..

Books:

BOOKS SUCK!!!

Heroes:

Randy Van Stone, Al Bundy, Richard Dean Anderson,John Lydon, Dave Sheridan, William Shatner, David Hasselhoff, Simon Riesenthal, Rosa Parks, Greg Graffin, George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Murray, Bill Cosby, Andrew W.K., Trey Parker, Dennis Rodman, Chick Hearn, Ralph Lawler (BINGO!!!), Pete Townsend, Johnny Ramone, Mike Vallely, Ice-T, Vlade Divac, Spud Webb, Earl Boykins, Nate Robinson, Ron Artest, Sam Cassell, Stewart Copeland, Rodney Mullen, Cpl. Pat Tillman, Dave Grohl, Brooks Wackerman, Henry Rollins, US Armed Forces, Brian Baker, Will Ferrell, The Dude, Samuel L. Jackson, Rodney Dangerfield, Jackie Chan, Brian Wilson, Mike Ness, Taylor Hawkins, Hulk Hogan, John Lennon, Rob Schneider, Eric Koston, Kurt Rambis, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams, Sacha Baron Cohen, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Tony Hawk, John Ziegler, John Kobylt and Ken Champou, Phil Hendrie, Captain Sensible, Borat.

My Blog

t4324

I can't believe people use their adorable pets as a way to spam. That's fucking low. Your pets would not approve.  They just wanna eat, sleep, play and fuck.T-shirts.Hurley- I thought E...
Posted by Brandon on Sat, 10 Mar 2007 02:03:00 PST

What the DUDE said.

..> From: Dude Date: Mar 8, 2007 12:39 AM Subject The Dude hates Spam! Body: If you're gonna leave me a comment, well fuck-n-a, The dude appreciates the love. But will ya quit fuckin leavin sp...
Posted by Brandon on Thu, 08 Mar 2007 02:52:00 PST

Environmental saving tips

Here are some tips I've heard thoroughout my schooling and ones I made up myself.1. Breathe less. instead of creating excess carbon dioxide, hold your breath for a few seconds.2. When you take a showe...
Posted by Brandon on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 03:12:00 PST

Odom

I knew the Lakers should have traded Lamar Odom. I think the Lakers could use a new coach too. With the exception of Turiaf and Evans, the Lakers are a soft team. 
Posted by Brandon on Sun, 04 Mar 2007 11:32:00 PST

my hypothesis says: You've been eating crab cake!

1. What is a question that people ask you that always gets on your nerves?Person:What do you do? Me: (My answer) Person: oh. 2. Name something you have in common with all your siblings.complete polar ...
Posted by Brandon on Sat, 03 Mar 2007 12:57:00 PST

My gear as of 2/07

Not much has changed since 9/04.  I want to get a drum machine and maybe another SG. I'm curious about Rickenbachers and Telecasters. The worst guitars I've owned are Hamer (Korean made...
Posted by Brandon on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 01:19:00 PST

big win guys...yeah

The Lakers still need help. Beating the Celtics is like picking a fight with Conan O'Brien, winning, and then celebrating. Odom with 8 points...psshhhh. His feelings must have been hurt again.&nb...
Posted by Brandon on Sat, 24 Feb 2007 01:04:00 PST

Asian food part 2

Where the fish have eyes, and the menu is full of lies--Asian foodWhere the rice is steamin' and the shellfish are still screamin'--Asian food.Where the patrons eat duck, and  my stomach is surel...
Posted by Brandon on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 03:39:00 PST

and um like she's all like and he's like and I'm like oh my god.

and like so today in class this shit-like hippie dude was all like talking and like couldn't like umm articulate um very well and like it was really like--like getting on my like nerves and shit like ...
Posted by Brandon on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 03:32:00 PST

Anna Nickel part 2 and Lakers STINK

WHO CARES! It seems as if this god damn judge want to be a celebrity. I listen to a lot of AM radio because FM radio is full of crap. In every news hour all I hear is Anna Nicole bullshit. Where were ...
Posted by Brandon on Thu, 22 Feb 2007 03:15:00 PST