What can I say about me that hasn't already been said by others in epic poems or adult magazine interviews?
hmm...
The Boy Scouts of America were founded on the values upon which I based my youthful superheroic deeds on the mean streets of Pahala, HI.
Several religions have fingered me as the incarnation of their end days Chaos Bringer. Only two of which I am aware have presented me as their savior diety. The fringe benefits are pretty good (religious nutjob nookie, a cut of the tithe pie) but the hours suck and the pressure....Oy! Destroy these guys; Heal these guys.... What a pain in the butt. Honestly, I probably shouldn't have signed those contracts.
I have two regrets in my life. My second regret was not beating the crap out of Paul Pope when I had the chance. What a pompous ass.
They distill viagra from my blood.
I may have had an affair with Shirley MacLaine. Not sure on that one. I could have just been chewing the peyote again when "Sweet Charity" came on. What a fabulous babe, that Shirley!
Michael Tuerk knows nothing of my origins. I never served with the creature commandos in WW II. How could I? They were COMIC CHARACTERS. Its sad really. Tuerk cannot differentiate between fantasy and reality anymore. Tuerk clearly never got over Macho Grande.
In my youth, I foolishly helped Thomas Edison (scumbag) screw Nicola Tesla out of his rightful fame for a number of technological improvements he made to Edison's generators. It is a definite low point. I was a East side lawyer who thought the world was my oyster. Those events helped me to straigten my life out. I followed the example of Tesla and devoted myself to helping people and here I am today.
