♥These two are my favorite!♥
The definition of insanity
is doing the same thing
over and over again
and expecting a different result
----------JANUARY-------------------
Easy to talk to, though hard to understand.
Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know.
Easily influenced by kindness.
Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas.
Sensitive. Active mind.
Hesitating, tends to delay.
Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental.
Funny and humorous. Loves to joke.
Good debating skills.
Has that someone* always on his/her mind.
Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends.
Abiding. Able to show character.
one great guy/girl.
Loveable. Easily hurt.
Prone to getting colds.
loves music.
pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up.
Easily bored. Fussy.
Seldom shows emotions.
Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
ALWAYS gets what they want
you want me to watch my fucking mouth? how?
take my fucking eyeballs out
and turn em around?
she's a painting outta focus
with no good sense
of intention
she's authentic
she's a model
of disaster
with a heart of revolution
she's so innocent,
but guilty's her plea
everybody wants to save her
from herself,
they really want to save themselves
she's got the grace of a tourist,
with the charm of demolition
she's a poem
without a meter or rhyme
a random design
of a flower
like a rose
no one really knows
she's a master piece
deserving restoration
or condemnation
time will tell us
if she's a lifer
or a decomposuer
she is rose
no one really knows
pleasing to the eye
and pleasing to the touch
are seldom the same
First they put away the dealers,
keep our kids safe and off the street.
Then they put away the prostitutes,
keep married men cloistered at home.
Then they shooed away the bums,
then they beat and bashed the queers,
turned away asylum-seekers,
fed us suspicions and fears.
We didn't raise our voice,
we didn't make a fuss.
It's funny there was no one left to notice
when they came for us.
Looks like witches are in season,
you better fly your flag and be aware
of anyone who might fit the description,
diversity is now our biggest fear.
Now with our conversations tapped
and our differences exposed,
how ya supposed to love your neighbor
with our minds and curtains closed?
We used to worry 'bout big brother,
now we got a big father and an even bigger mother.
And you still believe
this aristocracy gives a fuck about you.
They put the mock in democracy
and you swallowed every hook.
The sad truth is
you'd rather follow the school into the net
'cause swimming alone at sea
is not the kind of freedom that you actually want.
So go back to your crib and suck on a tit
go bask in the warmth of your diaper.
You're sitting in shit and piss
while sucking a giant pacifier,
a country of adult infants.
A legion of mental midgets,
a country of adult infants,
a country of adult infants.
all regaining their unconsciousness
Hell is empty,
all the devils are here.
he who makes a beast of himself,
get's rid of the pain of being a man
Why is marijuana not legal?
Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons.
That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources
to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail
for something that grows in the dirt?
You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV
is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes
without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this,
write this down.
Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time
I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields
or flying kites
or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like
that is the greatest disease ever.
How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick
and a puppy.
The schools now:
It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem,
make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem,
who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads
missing dance recitals
before you decide to blow a goat on the internet
for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears,
where does that leave me
on a Friday night
with my new high speed connection?
Masterminds are another word
that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these
terrorists masterminds that get killed
in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of
a lofty way to describe
what these guys do,
don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right?
And you put in your backpack.
And you get on bus
and you blow yourself up.
Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up?
Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here?
Me or you?"
Americans, let's face it:
We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what
the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity.
They say we're in the middle
of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio.
Like we'll be telling our grand kids
about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny,
there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."
Nobody knows why were getting fatter?
Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars
instead of getting up
to make the eight foot walk
to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal,
super sized.
Want biggie fries,
super sized,
want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers
for a nickel you fat mother fucker.
There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that?
It's only three more cents.
Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit
in your youth to motivate yourself
to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates
got laid in high school,
do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time
in your own locker
with your underwear shoved up your ass
before you start to think,
"You'll see.
I'm going to take of the world of computers!
I'll show them."
We're in one of the richest
countries in the world,
but the minimum wage
is lower than it was
thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy
asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him
and then I thought
he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought,
that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys.
Like if you give them money
they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box,
what do you want him to do?
Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store
for a throw rug and a CD rack?
He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy
and says
why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys
like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear
outside his pants.
Outside his pants.
I'm guessing his resume
isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems
during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds
has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly,
but technically
I'm sure it is on the books.
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