I'd like to meet:
Anyone who isnt an attention whore, has something interesting to say, and isnt a skank. Ill probably like you then. 25 Reasons To Date A Swimmer 1. We like it wet. 2. We are used to wearing next to nothing in front of people. 3. We are experts at putting on rubber and can do it fast. 4. We know how to push it and work under hard conditions. 5. We believe that practice makes perfect and will do it night or day. 6. We are used to doing things til you can't go any longer. 7. Sprinters are fast and efficient. Distance swimmers can last a long time. 8. We are always ready to dive in head first. 9. We may get tired but we never stop in the middle. 10. We do it in the water. 11. We start fast, stay strong, and finish hard. 12. We are always wet, and half naked. 13. We are able to do it on our backs or our stomachs. 14. We can do it fast or slow. 15. We can do it four different ways. 16. We know how to get dressed and undressed in no time. 17. We are always improving our times. 18. We are better when we put our hips into it. 19. We have good endurance 20. We are not afraid of pain. 21. We finish what we start. 22. We are always clean. 23. We will flip for you in a second. 24. The deeper we go the faster we get. 25. We are always looking for the perfect stroke. These are funny: 1. DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS. 2. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR. 3. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION. 4. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES? 5. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE. 6. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" ---- SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE. 7. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS? 8. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP? 9. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION? 10. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM? 11. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?" 12. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT? 13. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES? 14. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A “WALK� 15. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM? 16. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED? 17. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS? 18. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT? 19. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES? 20. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS? 21. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD? 22. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. 23. DOES THE LITTLE MERMAID WEAR AN ALGEBRA? 24. DO INFANTS ENJOY INFANCY AS MUCH AS ADULTS ENJOY ADULTERY? 25. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR? 26. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO? 27. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY? 28. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU DONE? 29. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT? 30. WHY ARE HEMORRHOIDS CALLED "HEMORRHOIDS" INSTEAD OF "ASSTEROIDS"? 31. WHY IS IT CALLED "TOURIST SEASON" IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM? 32. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM? 33. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED? This is a note I got from my sis: YOUVE BEEN HACKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!this is MY bro.and im soo proud of him, i miss him sosososo much and cant wait for him to come backfrom that damn italy. seriously.he is one of my best friends and a person i could trust with any of my secrets. i told him my crushes, my fears, my troubles, and any part of my day. i didnt have to be self-consious, secretive,polite, or, most importantly, serious. in return, brendon, you protected me, entertained me, and was a person to confide in. i remember the time when you heard a saw start up in the disance and thought it was me screaming(i was feeding the horses)you jumped into the truck and tore off down the road. you had thought that i had gotten hurt. you arrived and found that i was fine, and hugged me. dont be embarresed brendon, that was a sign of love. i am also glad that you werent the kind of brother that pretended that their sisters are bothers. you let me sit on your lap, hugged me daily, and always appreciated me. we would play games together, drive our parents nuts at the grocery store, and just crack each other up and get hyper over nothing. i didnt need sugar when i was with you. my brother is handsome, kind, itellegent,suave, funny, and a good friend.he wo the "chick-magnet" award,and i can see why.just look at the above.I love you, Brendon Alexander Phipps andmiss you so very much. i hope you are sfe in Italy.im soproud of you.i love you
