DEAR FRIENDS , alittle info about "MY LIFE" ...... I'm searching a spiritual life in India...First started from Nepal ,Boddhigaya,Bangalore & now in Himachal future USA..I was born & grown up in singapore,and used to live in indonesia... My home is still there in Jakarta... But I have no desire to go back to my life before..As all I did was wasteing my life there...living in a colourful world...And yet in the end of the day...Im not empty & unhappy,as I fear to lose what i already have..... I realize no matter what ,my hunger 4 disire can nvr be satisfy...tatz y i started to look into the spiritual path for answer... Now I am self reliant in a budget basic kind of life style...But now I am free ...Yes !! I hv learn da value of freedom...Free from the chain of love , hate & jealousy...FRee from "The Green eye devil"...free from the greedy monster in my heart...i felt peace with myself now not 100% but compare to those who still stuck in e unhappy r'ship n nt able 2 break free or move 4 wat ever reason..i felt bless in a way..As free as a bird I am now...I felt lose ,weak & helpless sometime...As my wings been used to being tied down for too long...I lose my gift for being able to fly...lost in direction...There is no place I could call home now... As I tend to move & travel from places to places where my Karma would allow me...In real life I don't feel connected with people with my emotion coz they are all twisted by now...My self defend will prevent me from getting there...Due to fear of being betray as it hurt...And so im use to being by myself most of the time...You could call me Anti-social,my friends lives in my labtop...I enjoy silent in my room,reply mail,reading books,and a little Dharma practice...not to forget visting guruji for teaching & blessing...
Im a keen learner...I love to lisent to teaching & going to school...And i consider myself very independent now...I have no problem dealing with loneliness...we got alone pretty well...I'm a vegetarian,yes if you cant help them,dont hurt them, The voiceless cant protest,but they do wish to live in freedom,just like us ,fear of pain & death.. I Dont drink ,seriously hate when people talk to me with da cigerxxx stale smell gave me headache & feel like vomiting...I felt really exhausted spending hours talking & laughing over meal while inhaling second hand smoke....I felt alot of mental turmoil when interactions with people,so many thought currents move in the mind.Mixing
with people talking and gossiping create crosscurrents of love,hatred,infatuation, like and dislikes restlessness, worry ,anxiety ,desires and passion ...Love & admire all beautys...still have strong attachment to myself....and very good 2@self healing to work myself off the pain ,but they seem to come as they wish...I seriously wish I would be able to understand "Emptiness & Boddhicita"....BODDHICHITA = No EXPECTATION = No DISAPOINTMENT"...do you get it...???
well they say "TOMORROW IS ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY"...NO matter how dark it is tonite..."THE SUN WILL ALWAYS RISE IN THE MORNING WITHOUT FAIL"..."Never give up without trying.."
Yes it does freak me out not knowing what's gonna happen tomorrow...But now i have no plan for my future...will just live one day at a time...Now Itz time for me to start planning for my next life ,no time to waste anymore...There is nothing I could bring with me when i die...so why spend so much time ...gathering ,collecting ,saving....ect
im not even sure if i will still be alive tomorrow mornning.anything could happen in a split second...
So always be grateful,hopeful & fearless...
Be happy that we are still alive & in ...CheersPEACE & LOVE for everyone....
My humble self-2008
