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About Me

When I left School I got into Buddhism and went to live in Nepal for ten years as a Buddhist monk. After that I became a roadie for The New Kids on the Block and travelled the world with this fine rock band. I have also spent one year in a mental institution, 6 months in a drug and booze drying out clinic and have been a dancer on the Steps World Tour. I am currently working as an Elvis impersonator in Afghanistan. 19/01/02 UPDATE After a successful summer season in Kabul working as a warm-up act for The Crankies (Would you believe it, that’s a bird not a boy) I came back to England to find out the dreadful news that my good friends Steps had split up. Well I got in touch with my pal H (The talented one) and we’ve decided to form our own Gangster Rap/Death metal band called Paper Doily. Currently we are in talks with EMI and are due to sign a five-album deal worth nine million. The band will also be touring extensively in Scandinavia supporting the legendary Joe Dolce on his “Shaddap Your Face 2002 Tour”. We will be having a headlining warm-up gig at the Southfield’s community college sometime in early February…….I’ ;ll keep you all posted.Update 27/04/03 After the failure of my music career due to an accident with a hay-bailing machine, I’ve just started a new job at Twycross Zoo. The job entails checking the colour of the baboon’s arses. This is done with the help of a Dulux paint shade card. If their bottoms are not the right shade I have to paint them with beetroot juice. I’m enjoying the work but I’m having to get used to having red fingers and the smell of monkey shit.When not at work I can be found in my potting shed building my time machine.

My Blog

Think!!!!!!!!!!

CampI can give no adequate description of the Horror Camp in which my men and myself were to spend the next month of our lives. It was just a barren wilderness, as bare as a chicken run. Corpses lay e...
Posted by on Thu, 14 Sep 2006 11:26:00 GMT