Ok, I was born in the swamps of Louisiana back in Nineteen Hundred and sixty-Four. At the age of two, I crawled out of my bedroom window and hitch-hiked to Alabama. One day, I was at a convenience store, and while grabbing for a Heinekin in the beer cooler, the door shut and i was trapped. I remained there until someone came in and saw all the empty Heinekin bottles and my head just above the pile. That person, became my dad. After peeing for 32 min." I was told I consumed 22 Heinekins" he took me home to Auburn Alabama. I quickly learned the battle cry of War Damn Eagle! I then learned of my older brother, which I would refer to as Oxie boy. If you ever see him, you will know why. A couple of years later, while picking cabbage for our corn bread,milk and Cabbage dinner, I found my sister Tracey. And believe it or not, 6 years later, I was out one morning , picking cabbage, and low and behold, I found another one, my sister Becky. Oh, I do have a mom, but she was the one cooking Corn bread and cabbage. By the time I was 13, I was a child prodigy. I went from 8th grade straight to M.I.T. I graduated top of my class at the age of 15. Dont believe me, google it. When I entered the "work force" I decided to "buck" the system, and became a Gigolo. My story was later made into a movie starring Richard Gere. I later made a woman very happy when I took pity and became her husband. That lasted for a bit, then, I decided to follow my lifelong dream and became a radio DJ. Within 3 weeks of being on the air, I was syndicated by over 500 radio stations worldwide. I am still big in Japan. There is a movie in the works called Keith Fame "The World Does Revolve Around You". When you become a superstar such as I, a lot of endorsements come your way. I have a deal with Nike. My own shoe! The K-Rocker. There were a limited number of 5,000 made and it was the fastest selling shoe in Nike history. Mtv actually had a contest called " I wanna wear the shoes that Keith Fame wears". Over 3.5 billion people entered. NASA actually invited me to be on the 1st space Shuttle launch. I had to decline. From radio, I was approached to do a tour. A music tour at that. I had no formal training or musical lessons. That didn't seem to matter. As soon as the public learned that their "hero" was gonna tour, Every show sold out in 6 min. A feat which the likes of Zeppelin, Clapton, Kiss or anyone has come close to obtaining. The marketing and merchandise was crazy. They rung the sweat from my towels and sold 1 oz. bottles for $300.00. My guitar picks sold on ebay for record amounts. My 1st cd called, I can't play or sing, but people worship me", sold 500 million copies worldwide in 3 weeks. Dont believe me? It's in the guiness book of records. I have been invited to the White House 38 times over the years. All the super models want to date me. I just dont have time. So, the story will continue. Oh, if you were one of the lucky ones to get one of the 1 oz bottles of Keith Fame sweat, they are now selling for over $2,000. Till next time..... Part 2: As they say, all good things must come to an end, or do they? Riding high on the success of my Multi-billion selling album, The frenzy and mayhem that goes with superstardom finally caught up. Locked in my L.A. mansion, fans camping on the lawn, sleeping in the streets just of a hope to get a glimpse of their idol. The cost of security was overwhelming. My relationship with Terri Nunn of the band Berlin was also coming to an end because of the chaos that surrounded me. But, as I still to this day open letters and emails she sends me, I know I will forever be her true love. After a month of seclusion in The Love Mansion, as it was deemed, I caught myself watching the weather channel everyday at 6. There she was. A blonde "soccer mom" type telling me what the weather would be like in L.A. I was transfixed on this woman. Her name, Christina Abernathy. No matter where I sat watching her, her eyes were transfixed on me. Strange, but true. I immediatly found that she worked at the CNN building in Atlanta. I hired a decoy to throw off the hordes of fans as I strapped myself into my copter, and headed to Atlanta. 6 hrs. later I was standing at the escalator of CNN. Security recognized me, and with just a few autographs and pics, I had the whole place to myself, well Christina and me. Then, Like a golden Goddess, she appeared. Our eyes made contact, a brief smile from her, then, she was gone! I had been snubbed by The Weather Channel girl. Distraught, I booked myself into the Omni hotel adjacent to CNN. Took out my guitar and penned my 2nd Million selling single, Weather Channel Girl, I'm in Love with you. The fans bought copies faster than they could press them. And unbelievably, the population of Atlanta grew by 400,000 in two days because news leaked out that I was there. Unfortuantly, Christina was not amused by my "Love" song to her, and put a restraining order against me. I could not get within 3 miles of her! That's when I discoverd JagerMeister. Lots of it. When I returned to my Spacious L.A. Digs, The fans were gone. No one was trying to scale the 20 foot walls to see me. Was my career over because of my love for Christina? Weeks passed by, as I watched her every night, still her eyes transfixed upon me as she walked and told ME what the temps in L.A were going to be. I could still see that gleam in her eye that she WAS thinking about Keith Fame! But wait. She looked a little pudgy in the middle. Could it be? Nooooooooooooooooo. It was true. She was pregnant, and it wasn't mine!!!! I made a commercial for Jagermeister just so i would have an unlimited supply to drown my sorrows. I would accept no phone calls. Fan mail was unanswerd. Then, out of nowhere, My label, Capitol Records reaches me, and say's My song, Weather Channel Girl, has been #1 in Japan for over a month, and they want me to tour!! So, thats where I am now as i write this. 56 sold out nights at The Budukon, and all the geisha girls I can handle. Life is good. So Christina, you had your chance. Hope you and your baby's daddy are doing well. Oh, look for a new reality show on VH1, Keith Fame, You wanna Rock His World? Should start filming mid Sept. 09. Till next time.. **update on Christina Abernathy on my Blog called HOLY CRAP.
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