LET'S SEE A LITTLE BOUT ME HUH I'M 28 YEARS OLD I WILL BE 29 THIS YEAR. HERE'S A LIL MORE ABOUT ME..........Interdependence refers to how much I need dependency or a â€œcouple identityâ€ with my partner. I am highly interdependent in relationships. This means that I desire â€“ and perhaps even demand â€“ a substantial degree of physical and emotional connection with my partner and other loved ones. Those connections and interactions can be frequent and superficial or they can be deep and meaningful. And I am probably attracted quickly to someone who I can deeply respect and even emulate to a degree. In fact, it is typical for a person in this score range to consider how a particular romantic partner might reflect on his/her own family and friends. All of this does not mean that I do not need personal space now and then; nearly everyone values being unique and different from others in some respects. However, people in this range draw considerable strength, comfort and sense of identity from close relationships. I like to know about virtually all aspects of My partnerâ€™s life. Thus, when I feel close to someone this person becomes an extremely important part of who I am on the inside and outside. I probably prefer that me and my partnerâ€™s recreational activities be shared together since I like having my partner physically close and desire showing off our â€œcouplehoodâ€ in public. Bottom line: I need someone who responds to the fact that I enjoy the reassurance of physical contact and emotional sharing, but who helps keeps dependency in check in the relationship so that we do not lose our identities as individuals and whose character is deserving of my loyalty and affection.Intimacy refers to the how much I need emotional closeness with my partner. I am clearly comfortable with giving and receiving emotional intimacy. I long for emotional closeness and security with a special person, and I tend to be open with a partner in return. That openness includes lessons learned from my past experiences and relationships, extending trust, believing my partner returns my feelings and devotion and being generally comfortable with surrendering myself to a partner. In fact, I probably would feel uncomfortable if there were serious secrets between Me and my partner. Likewise, I probably regard a partner as my best friend and my foremost confidant. There is likely no hesitation discussing current problems or concerns with that person. It also seems that I have realistic expectations for a committed relationship. However, I may find myself wondering whether my partnerâ€™s feelings are equally as strong as mine are. Still, I am willing to take the risks associated with being vulnerable on many levels. Bottom line: I need someone who desires and reciprocates intimacy as much as I do.Self-Efficacy refers to My self-image, stability of mood and level of motivation. People like me are characterized by a strong self-esteem, sense of self and sense of accomplishment. Those who know me best would likely describe me as influential, patient and accepting of others â€“ and calm, cool and collected most of the time. I am content with my personal qualities and feel I am an attractive person. Moreover, I probably have a good sense of control over the events in my life and are decisive in managing my life. In this sense, I likely do not overreact to circumstances as others might do. Rather, I am quite adaptable and am able to maintain a balanced perspective on situations. Additionally, I am also very influential and persuasive with others. Therefore, it is expected that family, friends and acquaintances often come to me for ideas of guidance across a range of issues. I am confident that people who are important in my life understand me, but I also tend to be comfortable not giving in to peer, family and other social pressures. Family is indeed important to me, but their expectations do not strongly influence my life. Instead, people like me tend to have their own well-defined ambitions and goals â€“ and may even set specific benchmarks to monitor the progress made toward achievements. Bottom line: I need a partner who is energetic, enthusiastic and has high self-efficacy like me and will support or even participate in my personal and professional interests that feed sense of identity and accomplishment.Relationship Readiness refers to how i am prepared emotionally, psychologically and pragmatically for a committed relationship. In some ways, i may not be fully ready for a committed relationship. i seem to feel a fair degree of comfort and grounding in my life right now. In fact, most people have a clear vision and a sense of purpose for their life. They also feel in control, but sometimes that sense of control can be fleeting or a false sense of security. For example, it is often the case that people in this scoring range need to address unresolved issues that can interfere with them having the life and relationship they want. These could be financial or legal issues or even physical, emotional or health issues. It may also be the case that i am seeking a relationship primarily to fill a void in my life or to gain a feeling of acceptance and belonging that was weakened or lost due to other relationships that ended or disappointed me. Bottom line: i need someone who will be patient and supportive as i figure outmy needs rather than who will rush the relationship prematurely.Communication refers to my approach to interpersonal interactions and level of emotional intelligence. Effective communicators have strong emotional intelligence, and i seem to fit this description. It is expected that i show considerable tolerance of ambiguity and emotional expression. i am usually extremely sensitive to otherâ€™s feelings and to their body language. Those who know me well would probably describe me as patient, open and eager to listen to others. i am also not afraid of making or admitting to mistakes. They consistently and bravely show vulnerability to others. In fact, they are constantly aware how their behavior impacts others. i can communicate my needs and feelings honestly when someone engages me directly, and i can take the initiative and be assertive when needed. However, a defining characteristic of people they do not rush to judgment. Rather, they pay attention, listen without jumping to conclusions and then reflect on information before responding. In a sentence, i seek both to understand others and for others to understand me. Bottom line: i need someone who is eager to give, collect and discuss information with me patiently versus communicate with me on superficial levels out of convenience.Sexuality refers to my needs (frequency, boundaries, expressions) related to physical intimacy. Scientific models of love and attachment always include physical chemistry and sexuality. It is a crucial topic for any couple to address, because it involves issues of control and vulnerability. I have a firm sense of sexual orientation, preferred sexual activities and comfort level. i like sex that is romantic, adventurous and fun, but for me sex is not a casual event. Sex has great importance in my relationship, and it is reserved for someone i love. i may think my sexual preferences would be viewed as conservative by others, but i am no prude. i am confident in my own sexual ability and are open to try various activities. In fact, i like to experiment actively. A defining characteristic of people is their willingness to be vulnerable and relinquish control in the bedroom to their partners. In other words, i am not sexually selfish â€“ i like to focus on pleasing my partner and submitting to his desires. Bottom line: i need someone who regards sex as a meaningful bond between people in love and who appreciates being the center of attention in the bedroom.Attitudes Toward Love refers to my level of needs for romantic love and friendship love. There are two main types of love â€“ Romantic Love and Companionate Love. Romantic Love is passionate, emotional and intense, whereas Companionate Love is a deep, affectionate attachment. People feel these two types of loves to different degrees in a relationship, and the levels of each can fluctuate over time. i am someone who may be best described as â€œa â€œhopeless romantic with a touch of realist.â€ This means that i do value the safety, security and comfort of Companionate Love, but for me a relationship must have a strong dose of Romantic Love. In this sense, i desire someone who is on the same wavelength as me â€“sharing similar attitudes, moods and impulses. It is common for people in this range to view their partner as a soul mate â€“ a person who i am destined to meet and fall in love with. This attitude of â€œlove conquers allâ€ is optimistic and sweet, but it is not productive to remain in a â€œlove dazeâ€ and idealize my partner constantly. Seeing a partner and relationship while only wearing rose-colored glasses can prevent me from identifying and addressing problem areas in the relationship. Bottom line: i need someone who satisfies the hopeless romantic in me but who will insist that i take time to get to know each other well before the taking the relationship to next levels.
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