Brandon profile picture

Brandon

About Me

"Never trust a big butt and a smile" - Bel Biv Devoe. I write grammatically correct text messages with correct puncutuation. I hate the feeling of dirt or mud after it dries on my hands. I enjoy the fine aroma of a freshly laid layer of cedar mulch. I despise most everything about the FOX network. I like the Simpsons, so that's my one exception. I like Oklahoma. I loathe Texas. I can't turn away from an Old Navy commercial on TV. I throw rotten vegetables at the TV when a Geico commercial comes on with that stinking lizard. Love me some country music. Hate me some country music videos. I eat me the shit out of some chickens (can't take credit for that one). I spit out anything that involves spinach.

My Interests

The literature and artwork of Bill Watterson, reading, repeatedly signing up for distance races then not understanding why they're so hard. I have a daily Su Doku calendar which I'm about 3 weeks behind on because it takes me 4 days every time the 5 star ones come along.

I'd like to meet:

Uncle Buck

Music:

Johnny Cash, Merle Haggard, George Jones, Porter Wagoner, Patsy Cline, Clint Black, Randy Travis, etc... you get the picture. Unless I'm working out, in which case it's bad 90's rap (think white people dance music), angry music from my high school years (think KoRn or Staind), or 80's that I never knew I liked until accidentally downloaded it to my iPod (think Kung Fu Fighting). Running to Buck Owens tends to suck, God rest his soul.

Movies:

Superman, Indiana Jones, Goonies, Super Troopers, Legends of the Fall, Baseketball/Orgazmo/Team America/South Park, Bull Durham, The Life Aquatic, Snatch, The Great Outdoors, anything with Salma Hayek (even if she does have a unibrow)

Television:

The Daily Show, Seinfeld, South Park, and anything that exposes the idiocy of the McCarthy-ists at FOX News

Books:

Eats, Shoots, and Leaves / Life of Pi / SK's Dark Tower series / My Life

Heroes:

The Man in Black, Indiana Jones, Bill Watterson, Barry Switzer