EST. 1985

If I seem pretty obsessed with myself...it's because I'm trying to get to know myself. Figuring out who I am, what I like, and who I want to be. Somehow I managed to make it this far without ever thinking about that stuff. You know those kids who "grow up too fast"? I'm the exact opposite.I've found that it's easier to seem interesting than to actually be interesting. I tend to ruin things by being too eager. I'm good-hearted, I like to have fun and I don't like to see people get hurt. I don't always do the right thing, especially when I'm in situations I've never had to deal with before. I've learned that you will always kick yourself later for acting immaturely, no matter how good it felt in the moment. I believe that things are only a mistake if you don't learn from them. I'm convinced that there are only about 10 normal people in the world, and I am already friends with all of them. I don't understand people who do crazy things to get attention or lie to make themselves look better, which seems to be the norm in my generation. I guess I just don't fit in, but I could never sell out like that. I'm the kind of girl who lies awake at night thinking.I am very bad at having serious talks. I suck at turning thoughts and feelings into words. I am challenged when it comes to articulating things, especially important things that actually matter. I would much rather sit down with my dictionary and thesaurus and hours later hand you a three page essay on the issue than have a conversation about it.I don't let people know when I am sad or troubled, and I'm really good at not showing what is going on in my head. I wish I could though, I think it causes people to think that I have no substance. I'm not all puppies and rainbows, but it will take me a long time to show you that. I eat soup with my crackers, not crackers with my soup. I dont understand the birds and the bees OR WHY BLACKBERRYS ARE PURPLE THEY SHOULD BE CALLED PURPLE BERRYS OR WHY YOU CAN NEVER FIND THE END OF A RAINBOW.I hate when people ask me what I like to do for fun. I never quite know what to say. I guess it is some combination of nothing, anything, and everything. I love how it feels when you crawl back into bed after getting up for a few minutes and it is still all toasty-warm!I love doing random things for people to brighten up their day.Inside jokes are possibly one of the best things that exist, I think I've had friendships entirely based on them.You can never be too busy to make someone smile and it is always worth the effort.I'm passive-aggressive. Yay!! Ok, so I guess that sucks...for everyone else. It's the only way I know how to be. Gosh. The people I love, respect and admire most are those who are not afraid to be themselves. I think I take longer than the average person to process things. I never automatically know how I feel about something, I have to mull it over for at least a few days. It causes me to either react entirely on instinct or to not react at all because I’m never actually sure of how I want to handle something as it’s happening. Reacting on instinct, well, that usually backfires for me. I hate that I say things in the moment that I don’t actually mean or fly off the handle and then regret it later. Usually though, you will just not get any sort of reaction out of me. You will wonder what is going on in my head. It will drive you crazy. Sorry, but that’s just the way I operate. If you are patient, I will most likely have a reaction ready for you in a few days, and then I will write you an essay about it :-D.If you can do something that I can’t do I will automatically think that you are talented. Maybe this is a bad way to measure (there’s a lot I can’t do!).IVE BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK I SPILL SHIT,- TRIP,&& EMBARASS MYSELF I CANT JUST FLUTTER MY EYES TO GET THAT BOY. MY LIFE IS MESSED UP, IVE BEEN THROUGH MORE SHIT THEN YOU SEE ON TV. NOBODYS PERFECT, IVE BEEN LIED TO, CHEATED ON, AND HAD MY HEART STOLEN. IV'E FUCKED UP, FUCKED PEOPLE UP, AND BEEN FUCKED UP BUT, EVERY HIT WAS WORTH IT CAUSE I FELT IT, I KNEW IT WAS REAL. LIFE IS REAL AND IM LIVING IT WRONG EVERYDAY. IV'E FUCKED UP ROYALLY AND IM DOING EVERYTHING OPPOSITE BUT, DO I REGRET ONE THING? NEVER! BECAUSE AT ONE POINT IT WAS WHAT I WANTED TO DO I GOT MY SATISFACTION. MY LIFE IS MINE AND NO STUPID BITCHES, OR IMMATURE BOYS CAN FUCK IT UP FOR ANYMORE, I AM THE REAL DEAL AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY TO FUCKING BREAK ME!I LOVE THE COLOR PINK I LOVE TO DANCE AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR I LAUGH AT THE STUPIDEST THINGS I ALWAYS SAY THE WRONG THINGS A THE WRONG TIME I CRY FOR NO REASON I GET MAD EASILY BUT IM JUST ME AND THATS ALL I CAN BE. IM OUTSPOKEN, OPINIONATED, AND DETERMINED I WANT WHAT I WANT AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT SO TRY TO STOMP ON ME TRY TO DOUSE MY INNER FLAME TRY TO SQUASH EVERY ONCE OF BEAUTY I HAVE WITHIN YOU WONT SUCCEED! AND IF THAT MAKES ME A BITCH SO BE IT I EMBRACE THE LITTLE THINGS AND I AM PROUD TO BEAR IT!!IM THE KINDA GIRL WHO CAN WATCH A MILLION HORROR MOVIES AND NOT GET SCARED BUT JUMP WHEN THE TOAST POPS OUT OF THE TOASTER EVEN WHEN IM WATCHING IT.SOMEONE OUT THERE WAS MEANT TO BE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE THE ONE YOU CAN TELL YOUR DREAMS TO AND HE WILL SMILE OUT THERE WHEN YOU TELL HIM BUT HE WILL NEVER LAUGH HE'LL BRUSH THE HAIR OUT OF YOUR FACE AND HE WILL STARE AT YOU DURING A MOVIE EVEN THOUGH HE JUST SPENT $11 TO SEE IT HE WILL CALL YOU TO TELL YOU HE CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU AND MOST IMPORTANTLY HE WILL LOOK AT YOU RIGHT IN THE EYES AND TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON HE HAS EVER SEEN IN HIS LIFE AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR LIFE YOU WILL BELIEVE IT THAT IS WHAT THEY MEAN BY TRUE LOVE AND I HAVE FOUND THAT AND I WILL HAVE IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I LOVE HIM WITH EVERY BREATH I HAVE IN ME AND I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR SENDING HIM TO ME. TAKE LOVE MULTIPLY IT BY INFINITY TAKE IT TO THE DEPTHS OF FOREVER AND YOU STILL ONLY HAVE A GLIMPS OF HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM.EVERYTHING IN LIFE CHANGES YOU IN SOME WAY EVEN THE SMALLEST THINGS IF YOU DO NOT ACCEPT THESE CHANGES YOU DO NOT ACCEPT YOURSELF THROUGH THESE CHANGES IT BRINGS NEW AND GREATER THINGS TO YOU MAKING YOU WISER AS TIME PROGRESSES TO AVOIS THESE CHANGES IS A LOSS YOU ONLY LIVE YOUR LIFE ONCE DONT SPEND A MINUTE OF IT AVOIDING THINGS LET THEM COME TO YOU AND LEARN FROM THEM THERE IS ALWAYS TOMARROW.I BELIEVE IN LOVE AND IN ARGUING, IN JAMMING OUT BY YOURSELF IN THE CAR, I BELIEVE IN HAVING SOMEONE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,DANCING IN THE RAIN AND MIRACLES I BELIEVE IN SMILING UNTIL YOUR CHEEKS HURT AND LAUGHING UNTIL YOU PEELIFE IS ABOUT TRUSTING YOUR FEELING AND TAKING CHANCES, LOSING AND FINDING HAPPINESS APPRECIATE THE MEMORIES AND LEARNING FROM THE PASTPEOPLE THAT DONT KNOW ME THINK IM QUIET PEOPLE THAT DO KNOW ME WISH I WASI BELIEVE THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON, PEOPLE CHANGE SO YOU CAN LEARN TO LET GO THINGS GO WRONG SO YOU CAN APPRECIATE THEM WHEN THEY GO RIGHT YOU BELIEVE LIES SO YOU EVENTUALLY TRUST NO ONE BUT YOURSELF AND SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS START TO FALL APART SO BETTER THINGS CAN FALL TOGETHER(MARILYN MONROE).ONE DAY AT A TIME IS ENOUGH DONT LOOK BACK AND GRIEVE THE PAST ITS GONE... DONT BE TROUBLED ABOUT THE FUTURE IT HAS NOT COME YET...LIVE IN THE PRESENT AND MAKE IT SO BEAUTIFUL IT WILL BE WORTH REMEMBERINGYES I DO THREATEN THE COMPUTER TELL THE TV WHAT TO DO YELL AT MY HAIRBRUSH AND TALK TO THING THAT DONT TALK BACK AND I AM STILL LOVED.HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A SONG FROM SO LONG AGO WITH SO MANY MEMORIES TIED IT MADE YOU CRY? I JUST DID! AND DIDNT YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO WHEN EVERYTHING WAS SIMPLE AND CAREFREE? I DO! THOSE ARE THE SONGS THAT ARE SOUNDTRACKS TO MY LIFE THE ONES THAT BRING BACK MY PAST ---- BEST FRIENDS ---- ---- FIRST LOVES---- ---- BROKEN HEARTS---- ----&&---- ----M.E.M.O.R.I.E.S---- GOOD AND BADMY BEST FRIEND IS AWSOME WE HAVE THE KIND OF RELATIONSHIP WHERE SHE CAN CALL ME A SNATCH AND I CAN CALL HER A WHORE AND WE ARE STILL BESTFRIENDS.IM CRAZY IM SILLY IM FUNNY IM CUTE IM BRAVE IM GIRLY IM SWEET IM LOUD IM CHEERFUL IM OPINIONATED IM ENERGETIC IM ANNOYING IM FUN IM OUTGOING.... SOMETIMES IM NOT EVERYHITNG I WISH I COULD BE, BUT IM EVERYTINHG I NEED TO BE... IM JUST ME AND I LIKE IT LIKE THAT..JUST BECAUSE IM QUIET DOESNT MEAN I DONT HAVE ALOT TO SAY JUST BECAUSE IM SARCASTIC DOESNT MEAN I DONT TAKE IT SERIOUSLY JUST BECASUE I FOGIVE DOESNT MEAN I FORGET JUST BECAUSE IM STUBBORN DOESNT MEAN IM NOT EASY GOING JUST BECAUSE I DONT SHOW MY FEELINGS DOESNT MEAN I DONT HAVE ANY JUST BECAUSE IM NOT LIKE YOU DOESNT MEAN IM WEIRD.ISNT IT IRONIC THAT WE IGNORE THE ONES WHO ADORE US ADORE THE ONES WHO IGNORE IS LOVE THE ONES WHO HURT US AND HURT THE ONES THAT LOVE US.I DONT REGRET THE THINGS IVE DONE I REGRET THE THINGS I DIDNT DO WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE Layout made by Pamela ♥ 's Tim .linkback_topleft { position: absolute; top: 0px; left: 0px; } .r{}